Submissive’s Rights

Every Dominant/submissive relationship is different, and the terms of that relationship must ultimately be defined by the people in it. There is no “right” or “wrong” way for two people to exchange power.
However, for a submissive who is new to the scene and is not certain what their rights are, the following may prove to be a useful starting point. Like everything, the following “rights” are subject to negotiation between the partners.

  • I have the right to set limits, and expect them to be respected
  • I have the right to adjust these limits at any time, with notice to you.
  • I have the right to expect you to push them, to force me to create new limits and boundaries.
  • I have the right to privacy. I expect you to be concerned about time we spend apart, but I expect you to understand that I am a person, separate from you, and thusly having problems and situations in my life that I will not need your help with.
  • I have the right to expect you will respect me for my independence and not criticize me for it.
  • I have the right to ask you for help, should I need it.
  • I have the right to be trusted, providing I have earned it, and
  • I have the right to expect you to believe I am an intelligent, caring and loyal person.
  • I have the right to ask things of you, and have you listen to my requests.
  • I have the right to ask for your attention, without having to misbehave to get it.
  • I have the right to ask you to contribute as much to this relationship as I do.
  • As long as my requests are submitted respectfully, I expect you to consider them as you would from any friend or colleague.
  • I have the right to question your motives, should you deny my requests, as long as I do so with the proper respect.
  • I have the right to expect you to administer your punishment with care and caution.
  • I have the right to use my safe words at any point, should I feel them necessary.
  • I have the right to get up and walk away from a scene if you have crossed the line.
  • I have the right to expect you to respect my decisions, and not think less of me, or abandon me for them.
  • I have the right to speak up if I feel our relationship is not giving me what I need.
  • I have the right to tell you what I need, in a respectful manner.
  • I have the right to expect you to understand my reasons for doing so, and the right to expect you to listen with an open mind.
  • I have the right to walk away from the relationship if we cannot come to a common ground on these issues.
  • I have the right to expect tenderness, love and understanding after a scene is completed, should it be what I desire.
  • I have the right to ask you for that tenderness if I’ve had a bad day, or if I just feel the need for closeness.
  • I understand that there will be times when you and I will disagree about this – when you will want a scene, and I will not.
  • I have the right to call for a talk about this, and to expect you to listen to and consider my reasoning.
  • I expect you to have the final word, but I expect you to wholeheartedly consider my feelings, whatever they may happen to be.
  • I have the right to expect our relationship to progress, for trust to continually be renewed, for our souls to be as close as our bodies are.
  • I have the right to tell you if I need more from you, and I expect you to respect my decisions about what I want and need.
  • I expect you to want the relationship to progress, unless decided otherwise before hand.
  • I expect you to understand that deep trust often breeds love, and I expect you not to repel me if I tell you that I love you. For, my master, I will love you, should our relationship move ahead, should our trust continue to grow.
  • I have the right to expect you to tell me, at any point, if you do not feel you can return those feelings, so that I may decide what I want and need. For it is your pleasure that adds to my own, makes it real. And mine, that adds to yours.

The original source for this document is believed to be someone who goes by the name “Screamer” online (not part of our local group).  If anyone has more information, please let us know using the Contact Us link at the top of this page so we can give credit where it’s due. Thanks.