December 2, 2001 EhBC Online Discussion

<BernieRoehl> So, it's 9 pm, and time for our regular Sunday night discussion
<Dragonchaserfs> hey Bernie
<kierana> it's the sunday night fetish show...:)
<BernieRoehl> Tonight is our first Newbie Night, a chance for people who are new to the scene (or even not so new) to ask questions and hopefully get some useful answers
<BernieRoehl> I've set an automatic channel message, which reads as follows...
<BernieRoehl> Welcome to our regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. We recommend using as your server, to minimize lag. Tonight is Newbie Night, so feel free to ask questions on any subject. The moderator tonight is BernieRoehl. Enjoy the discussion!
* juliie * winks at Dragonchaser Sir...settles and gets comfy on her cushion* [`abi:#BDSM-kw PING]
<BernieRoehl> So, the floor is now open. Anyone have any questions they want to ask?
<Omy_> Who are the new people in the room?
<alexandra_ont> *raises hand*
* kierana is relatively new
<twilight_girl> i've only been here a few times before
<lvs2dream{MD}> i am new to the room Omy_
* Symmetre is new to the room, but not the lifestyle
* leatherfetish{AF} raises her hand
<juliie> *raises her hand*
* `abi waits for Bernie to go into a greeting frenzy :)
<BernieRoehl> Welcome to all the newcomers! (both new to the room, or new to the lifestyle)
<Jeff45^> hello
* BernieRoehl smiles at abi
<BernieRoehl> Greeted them all at once, to save time :-)
<Omy_> Wonderful..a whole slew of fresh meat..errr ahh...I mean faces :)
<alexandra_ont> lol
<kierana> lolol
<lvs2dream{MD}> lol
<suzq{CK}> hehe
* juliie *giggles*
<^jen^^> *smiles*, not such a joke sometimes i think
<Galadan> when is one no longer a 'newbie'?
<justagrrl^^> hello :)
* oasis{Omy} pulls out a bottle of katchup from her bag ...
<BernieRoehl> So... for those who are new to the scene, this is a great chance to ask about anything that's on your mind. We have a nice mix of people with lots of different perspectives, so I'm sure you'll get some good answers.
<kierana> yes...when is one no longer considered a newbie?
<oasis{Omy}> maybe when one nolonger feels "new"
<BernieRoehl> I think it's self-defining, Galadan (and kierana). I also think it's a continuum -- it's not a case of being or not being a newbie, it's shades of newness
<^jen^^> That varies, i think for the most part it is when you consider yourself not longer one
<Omy_> Good question...I think it could be when you have an understanding of what the lifestyle means..self awareness if you will
<BernieRoehl> I've been at this a long time now, but I still find myself learning new things
<lvs2dream{MD}> when you feel comfortable with who you are
<kierana> ok...bc in some aspects of D/s i am an old being submissive...a life long thing...but interacting with O/others is definitely new
<Galadan> I for one hope to always be learn..and in that sense I will always be a I am new to different aspects of bdsm...which is what brought up my question..
<BernieRoehl> Also, a lot of people specialize. Someone can be an expert at (say) flogging, but know nothing about the psychological aspects of the scene (or vice-versa)
<^jen^^> Have any of the newbies *smiles* experiened a play party and if so what did you feel or what questions came from the experience
<oasis{Omy}> when i first walked the stairs at the Lawyer.. I felt like a "newbie" but i had been in the scene 13 years prior
<twilight_girl> i havnt had the guts to go to one yet
<kierana> i went to the last DAL, jen.....was a phenomenal experience since i had only ever played once before...
<jojuzach> i went to one in Hamilton back in August
<^jen^^> what do you think you need to go twilight_girl, define guts *smiles*
<BernieRoehl> (oasis{Omy} is referring to a restaurant called The Honest Lawyer, where the London munches are held)
<Omy_> Try a munch first twilight_girl
<juliie> The one i attended recently was my first jen. i wnet to any of the events i have attended alone, so ..i was a lil nervous..getting used to it though!
<twilight_girl> i dunno jen, just alot of courage
<BernieRoehl> Did you fined it overwhelming, kierana?
<twilight_girl> too scared for that also omy
<janizz> 'evening Aall may iask what the topic is?
<BernieRoehl> (find)
<^jen^^> why Omy, i did not, i went to a play party first and had a wonderful experience watching two now dear friends scene
<oasis{Omy}> thank you Bernie {took me 7 munces before i climbed those stairs.. got to know the bartender well though lol }
<lvs2dream{MD}> i hope to sometime get to one of the meetings
<alexandra_ont> Agrees with twilight... doing something in r/l is overwhelming...
<Galadan> I dind't fin he first play party (a LANO) the first munch I went to
<BernieRoehl> Too scared for a munch, twilight_girl? We try to make the munches as relaxed and non-intimidating as possible
<Omy_> Well the neat thing about a munch twilight_girl, you don't have to tell anyone your just show its held in a public venue, you can observe from far
<kierana> the end of the night my senses had hit overload...but would not have missed that experience for all the tea in china
* BernieRoehl smiles at oasis{Omy}
<jojuzach> i found it to be quite relaxing, the person i went with was really great at explaining,
<Omy_> Mind you twilight_girl, we are kinda hard to pick out of the crowd
<jojuzach> plus the people i met made me feel really comfortable
<Galadan> certainly helped me that first munch by meeting Bernie first..
<BernieRoehl> It's Newbie Night, janizz -- a chance for people new to the scene to ask questions about anything they like
<janizz> thanks Bernie
<juliie> twighlight, i have attended two munches and two events alone...beleive me the munches are very relaxed and people are friendly
<BernieRoehl> Glad to hear it, kierana
<Symmetre> munches are great. It's just a bunch of people in a restaurant. Most people are incredibly friendly
* BernieRoehl smiles at Galadan
<kierana> i like the munches...very friendly atmosphere to get your toes wet with
<`abi> I really just go to get hugged by sarah
<twilight_girl> its hard to meet a whole new group of people when u dont even know someone who is a mutual friend. that applies to any type of meeting
<oasis{Omy}> the first steps.. no matter what are the hardest.. you walk intoa strange new world all those questions.. will i be accepted for whom i am... am i different... will i belong am i loseing my mind meeting these yahoo's.... belives yes to all of them :)
<BernieRoehl> Lots of people do, abi :-)
<dalian> munches are an incredible opportunity to meet the wide diversity of people who make up the community
<janizz> when i went to my first munch (by myself) i walked up and down the street for about 30 mintues before i had the courage to go in
<twilight_girl> how did it go janizz?
* Dragonchaserfs never gets hugged by abi and sara at the same time pouts
<dalian> lol...I did the same thing janizz ;)
<BernieRoehl> I remember when our munches in Waterloo used to be at the Huether, and people had to walk up all those stairs to get to the very top floor.
<Omy_> Well twilight_girl, agreed its easier when you know someone...take a look at the website..theres a pic of'll have a face you can reconise
<janizz> well i went in..and saw 4 people sitting..and i just asked if this was the bdsm group and my i join
<twilight_girl> u just asked them that janizz? what if it wasnt them?
<Galadan> biggest problem I have with munches is the not so bad now I know many people...but I'm not really a fan of being surrounded by many strangers..that was the tougest thing for me to get past in the beginning (that and the fear of running into someone I knew..heh)
<janizz> i was very quiet.... i have been going for about 2 years ....and still only know about....10 shy
<Omy_> What would you of said if they said no janizz?
<BernieRoehl> Yes, twilight_girl -- please feel free to come over and say hi, or just say to anyone "I'm looking for Bernie". I can introduce you around if youlie.
<alexandra_ont> agrees with twilight - would never have enough guts to do that.
<oasis{Omy}> i finally went to a munch up those stairs cause of Bernie.. felt welcomed that first time.. found a new wonderful world of terrific souls
<Symmetre> when I attended one at ben Wicks the other week ... first time there ... I walked in and was greeted by Breeze and Drew .... who were great with me and shortly introduced me to many other people. It was a great experience. Now I know a half dozen people there for next time
<kierana> i'm always a little awkward in social settings...but found that going with Fyre to my first munch relaxed me enough that i could
<BernieRoehl> (you like) [keyboard is acting up
<janizz> i would have said..alright...(obviously they didnt know what bdsm ment?)
<Omy_> You just need to walk up and ask is this the EhBc group meeting...your safe..even in vanilla ville
<alexandra_ont> lol
* BernieRoehl nods
<lvs2dream{MD}> lol
<Omy_> Fingers crossed at that moment eh janizz? ;>
<janizz> ...fingers crossed?..i dont understand Sir/Ma'am OMY
<^jen^^> What are the new ppl looking for and hoping to find in the lifestyle?
<^jen^^> what are your expectations
<Omy_> <janizz> i would have said..alright...(obviously they didnt know what bdsm ment?) and its Sir
<BernieRoehl> I would definitely encourage anyone who's brand-new to come to a munch. There are lots of them going on (there's one in Waterloo on Wednesday, for example, and one in Hamilton on Thursday)
<kierana> i'm looking for training, jen
<twilight_girl> there should be a newbies munch so that you wouldnt feel like the only new person in a group of friends
<janizz> thank You Sir ~s~
<^jen^^> training in what kierana?
<Omy_> That's a good idea twilight_girl
<alexandra_ont> yeah - that might be a good idea, twilight
<janizz> i find the People very nice... but that Yyou have to introduce Yyourself
<lvs2dream{MD}> i was looking for someone who could help me understand the feelings i was having
<BernieRoehl> We've talked about doing that, twilight_girl. The thing is, we have new people out at every single munch, so they're all sort of "newbie munches"
<lvs2dream{MD}> and i did find Master Deid and have been happy since
<oasis{Omy}> there are soo many people to meet no need to rush.. when one can savour
<kierana> i'm trying to find my limits...have no ideas beyond certain hard limits...can't really find my limits without help
<janizz> i think they should wear tags saying who is a Top/bottom..looking not looking
<BernieRoehl> Another option is to have the new people show up a bit early (say 7:00 instead of 7:30) so they don't have to walk into a crowded room full of people who all know each other
<Symmetre> kierana ... those things are all relative to the person your with and what your relationship is
<lvs2dream{MD}> thank you Bernie i will remember that
<juliie> Good idea Bernie :)
<suzq{CK}> yes - i think that would be helpful
<Omy_> That's a good idea Benrie
<Omy_> err Bernie
<^jen^^> *smiles* @ kierana, trust your heart when it comes to finding the right Dom to help with that quest, too many would look at that as a carte blanc.. *smiles*
* BernieRoehl makes a note to put that on the web page
<Dragonchaserfs> or we could take a minute during the munch to introduce ourselves
<twilight_girl> but then you have all the scared newbies who wait around outside till they have the guts to walk in Bernie
<Galadan> then they dont get scared by waling in and seeing some of us...we get in after them and block the way to the exit *grin*
<BernieRoehl> At least they'll all be scared together, twilight_girl :-)
<Dragonchaserfs> a go around the room type thing
<alexandra_ont> *grins at twilight*
<twilight_girl> lol
<BernieRoehl> And who knows, maybe the new people will get to know each other while waiting, and not bother meeting the rest of us! :-)
<juliie> lol
<kierana> lol Bernie
<suzq{CK}> hehe
* BernieRoehl smiles
<oasis{Omy}> lol
<Symmetre> lol Bernie
* Omy_ chuckles
<BernieRoehl> I'd like to follow up on what kierana was mentioning, about training
* kierana blushes
* BernieRoehl smiles at kierana
<BernieRoehl> No need to blush -- you introduced an important topic
<kierana> didn't mean
<BernieRoehl> A lot of people are looking for training, but not everyone has the same ideas as to what "training" involves
<BernieRoehl> For the new people... what do you look for in training?
<lvs2dream{MD}> i know the training i thought i would get and what i am geting are very different
<alexandra_ont> *listens*
<BernieRoehl> That's not unusual, lvs2dream{MD}. Can you talk a bit about how they were different?
<juliie> *listening*
<BernieRoehl> In other words, what your expectations were prior to entering training, and how they differ from what you're experiencing?
<lvs2dream{MD}> well Bernie i guess i thought i would have more of a say in my training (being naive as i was)
<BernieRoehl> Go on
<alexandra_ont> hmmm - shouldn't you have input lvs?
<Omy_> Actually lvs2dream{MD} you do...consent is a cornerstone of the lifestyle
<lvs2dream{MD}> yes this is true
<juliie> yes, i would think you should have some input
<lvs2dream{MD}> it is just that He has shown me so much of myself i had no idea about (that make sense)
<kierana> yes, makes sense to me lvs2
<Omy_> Yes it does lvs2dream{MD}...and obviously you trust this person alot
<lvs2dream{MD}> thank you kierana
<suzq{CK}> makes perfect sense
<BernieRoehl> "input" is a fairly open word, of course
<oasis{Omy}> gets me in trouble sheesh
<BernieRoehl> The key thing is that your partner is listening to you, and paying attention to your needs and limits
<juliie> may i mention something that surprised me when i was at my first play party recently?
<kierana> but what if you don't know what your limits are, tho???
<lvs2dream{MD}> He does Sir and we have long discussions about my limits
<Omy_> its important to remember that submission IS a two way street
<juliie> sorry, i did not want to interupt
<oasis{Omy}> was thinking of all the mistakes i have made in the past... until I met Master.. noone had a hold on me.. could control me release the "beast"... now i hunger and fear more than ever.. its wonderful
<candleboy> hi Bernie, long time no see
<kneels> good evening everyone
<BernieRoehl> So in that sense, lvs2dream{MD}, you do have input
<BernieRoehl> Go ahead, juliie
* Omy_ waves to kneels... discussion night
<lvs2dream{MD}> yes i do Bernie
<kneels> t/y Omy_ , I figured that BernieRoehl was up to something ;)
<juliie> Oh...well. i don't mean this in a negative way by any means... but i was surprosed at how serious people were while scening
<Omy_> Seriousness or intensity Julie?
<BernieRoehl> Surprised in which direction, juliie -- that they were more serious than you expected, or less?
<Omy_> err julie
<Dragonchaserfs> I think it is serious but consintration also so as not to damage the submissive
* kierana smiles glad to see Doms make mistakes too...:)
<Dragonchaserfs> that was not an error it was a puter glitch
* BernieRoehl notices that the automatic message hasn't been working
<juliie> It is a serious matter of course..just at times seemed so almost..mechanical. i just figured that the Dom was focusing and the sub was perhaps in her own space
<BernieRoehl> Welcome to our regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. We recommend using as your server, to minimize lag. Tonight is Newbie Night, so feel free to ask questions about anything you like. The moderator tonight is BernieRoehl. Enjoy the discussion!
<kneels> i dont think i could be seen as overly serious when i play
<Fyre`> julie, it could also have been that mystical "Domspace" that's so hard to define
<suzq{CK}> no - not you kneels :)
<kneels> apologises to BernieRoehl....actually i thought it was Monday.....damn shiftwork
<BernieRoehl> I know that everyone has their own style of play, and some people also play quite different at a party than they do in private
<juliie> YEs Fyre, i can see that *smiles* It just threw me at first..being new to it
<kneels> it used to bother me the first few times i went to fet nights that everyone was so quiet
* BernieRoehl smiles at kneels
<juliie> YEs Bernie, afterall..they are not there to "perform" for others *s*
<Omy_> I do focus on who I am playing with juliie..sometimes with more intensity than others.
<Symmetre> some are there to perform for others, it seems
<kierana> i think that it's a misnomer when you call it "play" for something that has the intensity of some of what i saw at DAL
<kierana> i think that it's a misnomer when you call it "play" for something that has the intensity of some of what i saw at DAL
<juliie> Yes Omy , i can understand that
<BernieRoehl> I think everyone does make adjustments when playing in public. For one thing, the scenes tend to be a bit shorter because people are often waiting for equipment to become available
<jojuzach> but is not performing for others one of the reasons so many play at parties??
<Omy_> Well kierana, you don't want to see me scene privatly then ;>
<kneels> i laugh like crazy sometimes when i play, which gets the Dom laughing....i think that people wonder why I am not more serious sometimes
<BernieRoehl> It can get even more intense than what you saw, kierana -- again, it's different for everyone
* Fyre` nods at Omy_ ..she'd faint
<Omy_> I think its like the orgy thing jojuzach
<oasis{Omy}> likely a good idea.. lol
<Dragonchaserfs> lol@oasis
<kneels> the exhibitionism adds to it jojuzach.....but it isnt the main objective for me...for others perhaps
<Omy_> We can express ourselves without being judged...but I also attend to learn new skills
<alexandra_ont> orgy thing?
<Omy_> sec...
<juliie> i really enjoyed the scenes though. Nothing scared me at was more intriguing to me. i was imagining myself in the scene.
<BernieRoehl> In a sense, play parties are a chance for exhibitionists and voyeurs to get together and satisfy each others' needs :-)
<Dragonchaserfs> I personally watch to learn a new style or to see if what I do can be improved
<oasis{Omy}> loves to watch am such a voyeur...
<BernieRoehl> Did you find that there were some scenes that you related to more than others, juliie?
<kierana> i don't think i'd faint...i'd be watching as intensely as the P/ppl playing
<juliie> Well, yes Bernie. Only because some i had some experience with, others i had none
* dalian loves to watch as well...but then find it hard to not want to try out the equipment :)
<kneels> kierana....i think some would consider what we do intense ...but to me it is very much play....i mean i certainly am not being punished...i am getting high on endorphins and having alot of fun...which is usually why i start laughing
<Omy_> Lets not forget daning kneels ;)
<Omy_> err dancing
<candleboy> or singing
<kierana> i understand kneels...was replying to the remark of Fyre Sir....
<kneels> well the singing was spontanious...the dancing was not my
<kierana> lol
<kneels> ohhh...sorry kierana
<BernieRoehl> I think part of the value in play parties is that they let people learn by watching, which is important -- especially for people new to the scene
<candleboy> very true Bernie
<kierana> np kneels...i enjoyed watching your scene at the last DAL...was great
<oasis{Omy}> you can see what you desire to experince..
<kierana> yes, i agree Bernie...gave me lots of
<Dragonchaserfs> I belive that it also lets us interact and meet people who have the same ideals and desires ... helping us not to feel like we are not outcasts
<candleboy> July DAL was first for me, blew away all preconceptions
<BernieRoehl> For juliie and kierana (and anyone else who's recently gone to their first play party), where there any thoughts or questions that went through your minds while watching?
<Omy_> When you watch someone else get ideas..things you'd like or not like to try
<jojuzach> i agree with that BernieRoehl, i learned a fair bit at the play party i attended
<Omy_> I have this new desire to learn to use the single tail..something I found out about at a play party
<juliie> Mmmmmm yummy!
* BernieRoehl chuckles
<BernieRoehl> That's a good reaction, juliie :-)
<kierana> my biggest thought that i went home with was...when can i try that...and .... om my!!
* BernieRoehl smiles
<juliie> i was thinking about my fantasies and how a certain scene would or could fulfill them
<jojuzach> i think the only question i had was why the people were actually tied to the cross
<BernieRoehl> So we can safely say that you found the parties... inspiring :-)
<BernieRoehl> That's something someone else asked me about, jojuzach
<kierana> so they don't move around and accidentally get hurt jojuz...i think
<`abi> and because we like it :)
<justagrrl^^> and its fun
<justagrrl^^> :)
<kierana> lol
<juliie> *laughing* i liked the tied to cross thing! *g
<BernieRoehl> A lot of submissives really like being restrained -- it increases their sense of helplessness and vulnerability
<kierana> yup yup yup...wants to be
<juliie> Yes Sir! *g
<candleboy> just like being tied, anytime :)
<BernieRoehl> Even though they wouldn't go scampering off if they weren't tied down, being bound just feels good for them
<jojuzach> it is just personally i think i would be more upset and worried if i were restrained as such
<oasis{Omy}> {not to mention sfer for Doms/Dommes}
<kierana> safer, oasis?
* suzq{CK} nods to oasis
<BernieRoehl> Then that's something you should definitely mention to your play-partner, jojuzach
<Omy_> Definetly safer for the passers by kierana ;)
<jojuzach> ohh He knows, He has tied me once, and not since
<kierana> aaaaah, kk Omy Sir
<BernieRoehl> There's no *need* to restrain a submissive -- we do it to heighten their responses to what we do to them. If that's not right for you, just tell the top and he/she will adjust accordingly.
* Dragonchaserfs carries a bat when walking by oasis when she is scening
<juliie> It was really nice of some of the DM that i spoke with at the Werx to come seek me out to watch a scene that would be of interest to me. That was nice :)
<oasis{Omy}> we all react differently in play.. some slide into a dreamy bliss... some try to rip the post from the floor
<BernieRoehl> Everyone is different, which is why negotiation is so important
<Galadan> have seen some people break restraints while playing.....heh
<oasis{Omy}> your very rite Bernie
<jojuzach> well oasis{Omy} i'm difinitely in the first group, *s*
<candleboy> some of us giggle when reach a certain point
<oasis{Omy}> that is very cool.. point be yourself... never be afraid to be yourself
<Omy_> Well oasis only gets into bliss after the scene...then she's a pussy cat..but you have to tame the tiger first
<BernieRoehl> So, aside from questions about munches and play parties, do any of the new people in the room (or anyone else, for that matter) have anything else they'd like to ask about?
<BernieRoehl> (we have about ten minutes left)
<jojuzach> what would a full D/s scene be considered, or is that something that is dependant on the people
<Omy_> Would it be more comfortable to new people if they were identified as such at a party?
<kierana> NO!
<lvs2dream{MD}> nope
<suzq{CK}> no
<jojuzach> i was fine with people knowing i was a newbie
<Omy_> That's dependant on the people jojuzach
<twilight_girl> i think so Omy, because then other people could introduce themselves to you
<oasis{Omy}> well damn if that answer wasnt clear and to the point lolol
<BernieRoehl> Well, again it's a very individual thing, jojuzach. For example, for some people sex is an integral part of play, so a "full" D/s scene might involve penetration. For others, that's not the case.
<lvs2dream{MD}> it may make the newbie feel like everyone was watching how they react
<kierana> no...i don't want to be segregated from the pack and pointed out as newbie...would make me want to leave
<Omy_> I was also thinking that the DMs would keep a closer eye on those that were identified to ensire they were having a good time
<suzq{CK}> it would be nice if a contact person could meet someone new and show them around
<candleboy> hard for newbies Omy, a lot to absorb in one nite
* BernieRoehl notes that the majority of newbies are apparently quite adamant about not being identified as such :-)
<juliie> Yes, i had the tour and i helped. an explanation of the equipment etc.
<Omy_> Ahhh like an ambassador suzq{CK}?
<suzq{CK}> yes Omy :)
<yummy> suzq{CK}, when i was new - a whole year ago i went to my first parties with experienced folks i met at munches.....i think with my jaw hitting the floor i was the official fly catcher
<lvs2dream{MD}> good idea suzq
<BernieRoehl> In general, the regulars will recognize the newbies and will take the initiative to go over and say hi to them
<oasis{Omy}> lolol yummy
* yummy got lots of explanations and advise from the more experienced folk (a whole bunch of which was slightly contradictory
<Omy_> Hmmm there is an idea..okay..let me about having a few ambassadoe\rs who would be identified so the new people new who they can approach?
<kierana> even at the next DAL when i go...i don't mind being just "one of the crowd" but i wouldn't mind being taken care of that makes sense
<candleboy> very true Bernie, felt very welcome
<suzq{CK}> that could work Omy :)
<lvs2dream{MD}> that would work Omy_
<twilight_girl> i like that idea aswell Omy
<jojuzach> the person who took me, passed me off to a Dom friend of his who showed me around and answered my questions before i had a chance to ask them
<kierana> i like that idea Omy...but i know what You look like...can attach one's self to
* BernieRoehl agrees with Omy, and notes that most of the munches have de-facto "greeters"
<oasis{Omy}> i love greeting... :)
<BernieRoehl> For LANO (and now KNANO) we have a "newbie orientation" session that runs about ten minutes, to go over the party rules and answer any questions people may have
<kierana> and you're good at it oasis...:)
<oasis{Omy}> we all know Bernie is official greeter
* BernieRoehl smiles
<BernieRoehl> Well, for the local munches. There are other people who do similar things elsewhere.
* BernieRoehl glances at his watch
<BernieRoehl> Well, we have about five minutes left. Anyone have anything else they'd like to ask about?
<juliie> Does anyone feel the same as i do in that it is an adjustment being new, but also can be difficult being single. That is what adds to the some ways.
<juliie> Perhaps discomfort is the wrong word...hmmm thinking
<candleboy> if not for Woodstock munce, would not have found groups as nice as this
<kierana> i agree juliie...i feel it too...being single in what should be a "couples" arena
<jojuzach> i would agree with you juliie, it is easier if you are with someone you know
<yummy> it can be akward to be single....but meeting folks at munches means you can go to other stuff and have folks to hang out with
<juliie> it isn't just me kierana :)
<kierana> always feel like the 5th wheel
<juliie> yes jo
<Galadan> I agree juliie....being single is a problem sometimes
<juliie> Also...ohhhh i wanna say something but afraid it will come out all wrong like!
<kierana> spit it out juliie
<BernieRoehl> Go for it, juliie
<juliie> lol
<Dragonchaserfs> do it girl
<kierana> figuratively of
<yummy> kierana, i do too quite often, I just try to ignore it
* oasis{Omy} listens
<Galadan> it may sound odd but one thing that also gets me is sometimes I feel a bit out of place for being so young
* Dragonchaserfs sits on the edge of his seat all ears
<BernieRoehl> Of course, for those who have expressed some awkwardness at showing up to event unattached.... keep in mind that it's a temporary condition, and that the best way to meet people is to make friends in the community
<lvs2dream{MD}> true Bernie
<^sky_> temporary?
<BernieRoehl> Do you still feel that way now, Galadan, or has it eased up a bit now that you know more people?
<candleboy> it a part of any first time experience
<`abi> hang in there Galadan, you'll be as old as me before you know it
<suzq{CK}> and me too :)
<Omy_> there is no Dom/me isle in the grocery store sky
<Galadan> now I know more people it is not so bad..but I still get squikked sometimes by looking arround and seeing so people...and
* BernieRoehl agrees with abi -- the years start going by faster and faster!
<kierana> i don't feel young...just painfully shy
<^sky_> i've noticed
<Galadan> gee thanks nice to knwo...
* juliie smiles at kierana
<dalian> but there should be a Dom ilse in the grocery store!
<juliie> lol
<Opal``> lol
* yummy realises okay not the grocery store....of to Dom Depot i go
<`abi> there is's called the hardware aisle
<kierana> lololol
<suzq{CK}> lol
<Omy_> Well come on julie...out with it
<BernieRoehl> If you both reach for the double-ended clips at the same time, you may just have found a new play-partner :-)
* Fyre` hangs around the frozen food section watching for nipple rings .... wave sometime would yah?
<BernieRoehl> Just before we wrap up, here's a quick announcement. The munch in Waterloo this Wednesday starts at 7:30, but I'll be there from 7:00 on for anyone who's new and wants to show up a bit early. All the information about our munches can be found at
<lvs2dream{MD}> thanks you Bernie
<Omy_> Thanks Bernie for moderating
<twilight_girl> thanks Bernie
<juliie> Thank You Bernie :))
* kierana laughs....ya Fyre is the old dude with a Mr Rogers sweater and a can
<Dragonchaserfs> thanks Bernie
* Galadan is actually planning to be at this munch (rare as that is heheh)
<BernieRoehl> Well, it's after 10, so we're going to close the log on the formal part of the discussion
<suzq{CK}> thanx Bernie :)
<kierana> cane even
<BernieRoehl> Thanks to everyone who participated! Lots of great questions and answers
<`abi> I'll try to move my walker out of your way Galadan ;)
<dalian> thanks Bernie...great discussion
<kierana> thank You Bernie...:)
<candleboy> thanks for Your time Bernie
<Galadan> I'll manage to get arround you anyway worries
<BernieRoehl> Next week's topic is "Disabilities and BDSM", and it will be moderated by fire^runner