November 28, 2004 EhBC Online Discussion

<ModBot> This message is generated by Moderator Bot, ModBot for short. I've set an automatic message that reads as follows...
<ModBot> Welcome to or regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. Tonight's discussion topic is "Being a Single Submissive in a Healthy Way". The discussion is unmoderated. Enjoy!
* Symmetre flirts shamelessly with the pantyless ModBot
<paperclip> lol
* Marlin knows absolutely nothing about being a single submissive
<paperclip> well i do and it sucks!
<tWisted_dEvotion> indeed
<paperclip> :)
* Symmetre single sumbissives suck? which ones?
<dana^^> lol paperclip... it does indeed
<dana^^> lol
<Marlin> so how could it be healthier?
<paperclip> you said it sister LOL
<krista-F> i have always been alone....
<paperclip> damn Marlin, back to topic already?
<Marlin> lol
<paperclip> i was going to bitch a while first
<Marlin> does bitching make it better?
<paperclip> lol
<krista-F> NO!!
<tWisted_dEvotion> sometimes ;)
<wendy_> I think the bitchfest is afterwards paperclip LOL
<krista-F> ive tried it
<paperclip> it gets the pain out man
<paperclip> lol wendy_
<Marlin> so venting can be healthy
<wendy_> yes but is venting about failed relationships ?
<tWisted_dEvotion> venting is helpful... not necessarily healthy
<dana^^> only if you know the person youre venting too... lol
<krista-F> when have i ever vented Marlin Sir.....LOL
<jewel`{F}> unless it is toxic waste, that really shouldn't be vented
<Marlin> oh Im just playing the Devil's advocate krista
<motoki> so, the discussion could go the way of "single is a healthy way to be"
* lucy{H} is a tad confused about what it means to be a single submissive in a "healthy" way...anyone?
<tWisted_dEvotion> it can feel like toxic waste burning in your veins, though
<motoki> or it could go the way of "going about removing one's "single status"' in a healthy way
<krista-F> Marlin Sir's ear may have a permanent bend in in after all my whining
<wendy_> me too lucy I wasn't sure if it meant healthy as in physical or otherwise
<dana^^> i was wondering about that healthy way part also
* Marlin smiles
<lucy{H}> if a submissive becomes not single anymore does their 'unhealthiness' disappear?
<motoki> and it could mean "healthy" as in phsyically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or any combination thereof
<Marlin> is being single in this lifestyle any different than in any other?
<dana^^> perhaps healthy attitude?...
* lucy{H} scratches head
<wendy_> I suppose it could if you were in an abusive relationship
<lucy{H}> maybe dana
<motoki> personally, i don't think it's any different to be a single vanilla or a single submissive woman
<princess{Jaysker}> maybe about being safe?
<dana^^> i think we are different from mainstream...
<paperclip> being a single sub who still gets play in a safe, sane etc etc way when she needs it...i don't find what i have to be unhealthy however, it would most likely be healthier with that certain someone... i'm still missing out on lots of elements that would make it a much healthier relationship for me.
<motoki> if a person seeks a relationship merely to escape from being face-to-face with themselves, it's probably noto healthy
* `abi notes that topics are intended only as starting points for discussion and are not intended to be definitive statements
<Marlin> I think they way we view our single status might have something to do with the relationship we have with ourselves
<`abi> ie. interpret the topic any way you wish
* motoki is definitely different from mainstream, but that's not the topic of discussion
<lucy{H}> good point abi...i'm just findign it hard to discuss when i'm not sure which way the discussion is i'll watch and wait
* paperclip sometimes swims in streams.
<krista-F> i find joy in service...alone or is not dependent on my having a partner
<`abi> feel free to point it in a direction lucy
<dana^^> im the same krista... though lately its been my kids i serve... lol..
<paperclip> healthier for me would to be able to have D/s with play... being as i'm single i have no D/s... can be very depressing for someone like me at times.
<krista-F> sometimes it is that way dana
<wendy_> being healthy in spirit or emotionally doesn't necessarily hinge on whether you're single or attached though I wouldn't think
* tWisted_dEvotion agrees with paperclip
<krista-F> i get a deep craving.....but i manage
<lucy{H}> i guess for me it conjures up the idea that unless someone is part of a 'relationship' then one is somehow incomplete ... and i don't think that has to be true at all
<motoki> hmm - is it true that if we are not with a complementary D/s partner, we have no D/s in our lives?
<tWisted_dEvotion> no fulfilling D/s...
<dana^^> but i agree... being a submissive isnt turned on and off was to whether im in a relationship or not... its whats within...
<krista-F> not at all motoki.
<paperclip> i agree with you lucy{H}, i always say i don't NEED a man, i WANT a man
<wendy_> you're submissive whether you're in a relationship or not that doesn't change anything although some of us (me) is quite mouthy most of the time LOL
<dana^^> i agree paperclip... i miss the control...
<lucy{H}> right...just like i don't NEED chocolate..but damnit, i want it ;)
<wendy_> oh I need it some?
<Marlin> a partner sometimes completes, compliments or competes oneself
<motoki> a good sideline discussion might be: how do single submissives have their
* lucy{H} hides her chocolate
<motoki> have their SM or Ds needs met when they have no regular play partner or committed partner
<paperclip> yeah, for me it's structure... i have a very hard time with chaos and need direction..wherever it might come from. just that i would like for it to come from a guy LOL along with many other things ;)
* motoki curses her premature enter key
<lucy{H}> i always felt like i should be complete on my own, rather than looking to someone else to complete me...besides, why would someone want a partner who's incomplete? i like whole people ;)
<dana^^> i dont think a Dominant completes me lucy{H}... but i do love melting into anothers control...
<motoki> perhaps "complement"
<wendy_> ok so do you settle for the first one that comes along to fulfill that need then? I prefer to play wait and find the one that fits however that still doesn't change the fact that I'm submissive or that I'm mentally unhealthy it's more of a preference type of thing I suppose
* _jade nods... after a rough break up last year... i moved out on my own... learning to live with myself again(o=... i think thats the first healthy step... one perhaps alot miss
<Marlin> if someone else can make you happy that person can make you sad
<wendy_> although some would say I'm completely looney toons LOL
<krista-F> that is why i am alone and have been wendy...i refuse to settle
* motoki thinks waiting is a good thing
<paperclip> bad always comes with good Marlin, that's the way life works.
<paperclip> ups and downs etc etc
* motoki also thinks having fun while waiting is also a good thing
<lucy{H}> so do i dana...but there's a big difference between 'we compliment each other' and 'he completes me'..that's a common theme whether it's vanilla or kinky
<krista-F> i like you motokie!!!!!! we think much the same
<dana^^> a very good thing though bottoming isnt bad either...
* lucy{H} also knows that sometimes bad shows up on it's own, darnit
<dana^^> oh i agree lucy{H}...
<wendy_> yes but then that brings up the other *health* question..if you play casually how do you know your partner is safe? unless they've had a recent STD test and show you it
<motoki> well, does safe just mean STD's? i don't sleep with play partners as a rule
<motoki> safe also means .. do they REALLY know how to use that singletail (as it cracks through the air by my ear)
<wendy_> that's true but you also don't have to sleep with them to become exposed to something they may be carrying
<dana^^> i dont play like that wendy_... its either simply serving.. or a pain session... negoiated to the limits set
<paperclip> well casual doesn't have to mean you're playing and sleeping around does it? can't casual simply mean a 'convenient friend."
<motoki> and safe also means ... do they realize that i'll attack them if they don't keep a steady stream of chocolate comoing my way?
<dana^^> lolol
* lucy{H} scarfs down the last bit of chocolate
* paperclip drools and reminds herself of her diet. bad chocolate
<lucy{H}> ugh...someone said the D word
<motoki> so safe means a few things - but it does have a relationship with health
<paperclip> sure
<paperclip> sure it does i mean
<motoki> of course, there's also that thing about reputation
<dana^^> double standard?
<motoki> not necessarily
<paperclip> in the history of time, singles have hooked up with convenient friends to get whatever their rocks are, off. and not always by sleeping with different ppl. some went the smart and HEALTHY path of having a buddy who fulfilled certain needs/wants. they keep those activities to only each other while still persuing that elusive love they truly seek
<wendy_> not sure what you mean by that..can you explain it just a bit motoki?
<krista-F> a fuck buddy
<paperclip> stunt cock
<dana^^> lolol
<wendy_> lmao
<dana^^> oh my
<dana^^> lolol
<motoki> oh - a single submissive might look for any available Dominant regardless of her values and standards if she wants some leather fun
<wendy_> I have one of those in my drawer
* Marlin hides his eyes
<motoki> (no not sex all the time)
<paperclip> lmao wendy_
<paperclip> lol Marlin
<motoki> and that pursuit might lead to an unfavorable reputation for when she is looking for a serious partner
<dana^^> lol
<motoki> or vice versa
<motoki> lots of scenarios
<paperclip> this would be the perfect night for all single Doms to be here watching this discussion LOL
<motoki> as Dr Phil says (ack, barf), we teach people how to treat us
<dana^^> wonders what kink dr phil is into...
<krista-F> there are single Doms?? WHERE??????
<motoki> let's not go there
<paperclip> lol
<wendy_> oh so you mean someone who plays the field and word gets out that she's easy or something and then her reputation gets destroyed and she can't find what she's looking for...sorry can be she or he
<dana^^> lol krista-F
<motoki> yes wendy - or vice versa
<lucy{H}> sounds so incredibly vanilla, doesn't it?
<paperclip> lol
<paperclip> sounds very teen years.
<lucy{H}> people are people no matter where you go, i guess
<lucy{H}> no kidding paperclip
<shareena> true lucy{H}
<paperclip> i'll sleep with whoever i want to and it's none of ANYONES business really.
<wendy_> ok that brings us back to the saying...who are we to judge someone else's likes or dislikes? if they want to play the field I think it's not worth destroying their reputation over
<paperclip> same for play ;)
<dana^^> yes it does lucy{H}
<motoki> it's curious how sex keeps coming up
<Marlin> it always seems to motoki
<motoki> very curious
<wendy_> I didn't mention sex...playing the field could mean anything from dating a new person each night to an all out sex fest
<Marlin> we are all animals
<paperclip> becuz the physical act of play is simply foreplay to me, i play i want to get laid, sorry just a conclusion i draw automatically LOL
<motoki> wasn't referring to you, wendy
<wendy_> oh sorry
<shareena> true paperclip, but you can't control what others think and i find the double standards is alive and well in bdsm too
<lucy{H}> since when did dating become a reputation killer...don't people into bdsm date?
<motoki> didn't say dating, lucy
<krista-F> very true shareena.....i want a slut.but if you act like a slut..then ewwwwwwww
* motoki has enjoyed dating since the summer
<paperclip> well for the record, everything i'm talking about is play/sexual in topic.
<lucy{H}> is dating a bad word?
<Marlin> if you need the approval of others you are their prisoner
<lucy{H}> bingo
<wendy_> yes very true Marlin
<dana^^> i dont see it as a bad word ... just bad dates... grins
<lucy{H}> hehehe
* Marlin likes dates
<Marlin> but prefers figs
<wendy_> I gave up looking for other people's approval of my actions many many years ago now I do what makes me happy
<dana^^> so true Marlin... being true to yourself first and formost..
<paperclip> agreed shareena
<motoki> this isn't so much about seeking approval i don't think
<dana^^> if ya dont date how do you meet people then... make new friends...
<motoki> whether we seek approval or not, our actions will paint a picture of us to others - just a fact, not a value judgment
<paperclip> i'm not looking for new friends though LOL
<Marlin> for the record I enjoy dating
<wendy_> I date lots of people...I meet everyone I can for a meal or coffee
<motoki> dana - i've meet people through mutual friends, too
<wendy_> male and female makes no difference it's still a date
<paperclip> lol Marlin, me too...get lots of free coffee that way ;)
* motoki is in it for the free meals
<paperclip> lol
<Marlin> well I like to do other things than just beat folks
* motoki .. oops .. there goes my reputation
<wendy_> lol
<dana^^> nods with motoki... unfortunately they were in ottawa...
<paperclip> man i gotta start to aim higher
<dana^^> lol
<paperclip> coffee with dinner, noted.
<dana^^> lol paperclip
<wendy_> lol with an after dinner play session thrown into the mix?
<motoki> now the others aspect we haven't discussed (among many) is the situation of a single submissive who desires to be in a collared relationship
<motoki> that can become a quandary
<paperclip> yup
<krista-F> desiring such is a far cry from accomplishing such
<dana^^> well its not all that fun when youre subjected to a "im gonna put you in such pain" discussion every 5 minutes no matter how hard you work at changing the subject... lol
<Marlin> seems to me there are lots of doms around to chose from
<wendy_> the desire to be collared to a Dominant that's afraid of commitment to that level
<dana^^> <== smiles and looks for the exit alot
* paperclip looks at Marlin in disbelief.
<motoki> well, i aim higher than that, wendy - i desire to be collared to a Dominant who desires that level of commitment and beyond
<Marlin> dime a dozen
<wendy_> Marlin it's not the amount it's finding the one that fits with you there are also tons of single submissives
<paperclip> i think you're simplifying things a bit Marlin, no?
<Marlin> yes I am
<dana^^> Doms or Tops?
<paperclip> as long as you admit you have that prob Marlin ;)
<wendy_> lol
<wendy_> the 12 steps of Dominants? lol
<Marlin> to me its not a problem to simplify things
<paperclip> you got it wendy_ ;)
<lucy{H}> i think the problem is that people think bdsm 'dating' is somehow different...IMO, you need to meet PEOPLE first...orientations second...but i'm weird that way
<motoki> it's easy to think that there aren't that many available Dominants if one only looks within one ballpark, so to speak
<motoki> branching out helps
<paperclip> absolutely agree with you lucy{H}
<dana^^> so true lucy{H}
<Marlin> it depends on what you seek
<motoki> netowrking helps
<krista-F> how so motoki...if i might?
<paperclip> one of my biggest pet peeves actually.
<motoki> setting up a pay-per-view internet site helps too
* motoki snickers
<paperclip> lol
<dana^^> is looking for a relationship... with all that entails... not vanilla sex on command.. lol
* princess{Jaysker} would put that on the card...;)
<motoki> oops - wrong discussion for that - sorry
<wendy_> motoki does that not then mean you're settling for what you don't really need or want? for instance I won't settle for someone who's inexperienced because that leaves me in the position of topping from the bottom or being a teacher and that's not a position I would like to be in
<Marlin> its always best to get to know the person before the dom or sub
<motoki> no wendy, it doesn't leave me settling
<motoki> or at least i haven't settled yet, and don't plan on it
<dana^^> but isnt that just the physical side wendy... even Dominants have to have time to learn the bdsm skills
<dana^^> ?
<dana^^> i look at the mindset first...
<Marlin> I know that I do not know it all
<krista-F> me either motoki...and i have been looking a long time
<motoki> i'm not a "beginner's submissive" so am not looking for a newbie Dominant hehehe
* motoki grins
<wendy_> yes however I have found that if I am with someone inexperienced that it puts me in a place I don't like
<krista-F> that's not what you told me Marlin Sir *eg*
<shareena> do you mean get to know them as a person first Marlin, before becoming involved with them as a Dom?
<dana^^> the activities change over time and how adventurous you are
<Marlin> lol
<Marlin> yes shareena
<motoki> of course, there's always the philosophy that as soon as we stop hunting, what we desire most lands on our doorstep
<paperclip> i was told that when i meet a Dom i'm thinking of a relationship with i should make sure that 80% of what i like/love/have incommon with him is vanilla based...becuz that's where realistically we live most our lives. we work, some have kids, bills etc etc. i guess this goes to what you were saying lucy{H}, bdsm doesn't change what you want and need in a partner, it just brings an added element to the relationship. imo.
<paperclip> wow!
<paperclip> look how much i wrote!
<Marlin> good point paperclip
<krista-F> i am not hunting.....i just keep an open possibilities
<krista-F> im too old to hunt....takes too much energy
<lucy{H}> do people really hunt actively? i have to admit that strikes me as odd
<paperclip> lol
<dana^^> thats true paperclip... you have to have the same goals, principles, ethics... something solid to build on...
* motoki likes to hunt for some things ... licking her lips
<dana^^> doesnt hunt... lol...
<lucy{H}> i just went out hoping to get to know people and see what was out there
<wendy_> the hunt is a wonderful part of the chase..however the catching the right one is part of the original problem
<dana^^> far too shy for that... lol
* Marlin doesn't hunt but likes to fish
<dana^^> fishings fun... lol
<Marlin> yep
<wendy_> fishing? so if we stock up on worms would that help? LOL
<dana^^> lolol
<Marlin> as long as you do not catch a bigger fish than me
<motoki> it's best to approach it like a cat - catch first, taste, play with a bit, then discard if not suitable, or eat the head off and pass it along to a friend
<dana^^> as long as its not frogs...
<wendy_> lol
* princess{Jaysker} remembers that 'fish' is a kind of rope-usage...
<motoki> meow
<Latinoboy69r> sorry in late.... need to know what "beinging a sub in a healthy way" means?
<dana^^> smiles...
<paperclip> on what you said dana^^ re: solid to build's a huge pet peeve to me when i see being kinky used as an excuse to change our behaviour to something we're not. like someone being Dom will make me forget that their also racist? (example only) i'm puzzled whenever i see that mentality.
<dana^^> so... is there anything a single submissive can do to keep positive...
<paperclip> buy lots of batteries
<paperclip> and keep em charged ;)
<motoki> dana - i laugh a lot, don't take myself too seriously, and enjoy the friends i have - that helps
<krista-F> take joy in small things....acts of the community
<krista-F> help a new person
<paperclip> i say batteries.
<dana^^> nods and nods... ive seen it so many times... the rush to explore the "lifestyle" with someone you really dont understand
<krista-F> organize a discussion
<dana^^> lol paperclip
<motoki> go to a tack store and sniff the leather - that also helps
<Marlin> that is an excellent idea krista
<paperclip> lol motoki
<krista-F> i have done it often Marlin Sir....
<dana^^> so true motoki...
<Kilted_One> connect to the positive terminal of the car battery dana^^??
<dana^^> wonderful suggestions krista-F... i love helping new folks
<krista-F> i am like the welcome wagon lady of BDSM here
<paperclip> now that's what i'm talking about Kilted_One!
<krista-F> as i have extended a hand to you dana
<dana^^> faints.. and writes that down.. thank You Kilted_One... grins and grins
<dana^^> smiles with krista-F
<krista-F> maybe that is why i am alone.....i focus more on service than sex
<paperclip> seriously, i do not see myself as unhealthy becuz i'm single sub. perhaps the topic should be how could we be more fulfilled?
<wendy_> motoki adding new friends constantly into that mix always helps too
* motoki nods to wendy
<Kilted_One> humour works for me....keeps you smiling and hence positive
<motoki> i feel extremely healthy - single or not
<paperclip> yeah
<krista-F> i love sex.....but i love service as well....and i can serve many....and not catch anything
<wendy_> humor? you have a sense of humor? I think not! LOL
<dana^^> likes that better paperclip...
<paperclip> ty
<paperclip> oh and batteries.
<paperclip> :)
<wendy_> hooking vibes up to car battery terminals isn't funny LOL
<krista-F> i manage and work on a D/s educational site..another way i serve.....
<dana^^> knowing what you are looking for also helps
<krista-F> and give to others
<wendy_> I think that's a really big part of it dana
<motoki> i'd go further with that dana - knowing what one is looking for is fundamental
<paperclip> i think i know too well...therefore i'm single.
<dana^^> me too wendy_... understanding and really accepting your submissive nature isnt as easy as it may first seem...
<QTIP> I want to know what I want. ;-)
<motoki> second only to knowing what one wants to improve in themselves
<wendy_> what's right for you right now isn't necessarily always going to be that way though our needs change as we grow
<dana^^> excellent point motoki
<krista-F> of course....i once gave service that was not wanted....remember that Qtip?
<QTIP> i do
<dana^^> if we didnt wendy_.. would be vanilla... grins
<krista-F> how crushed was i?? not to mention embarrassed
<dana^^> sorry... being silly
<motoki> which is why life isn't static, it's dynamic, wendy - we evolve and grow, and have a duty to ourselves to re-examine our desires, needs, wants, and chocolate level
<wendy_> I like vanilla ice cream
<QTIP> crushed? even when you were corrected politely?
<motoki> vanilla ice cream is great because it tastes good with chocolate (or with maple syrup)
<wendy_> it's like I was talking about recently how when we first start out we have solid hard limits but over time those limits soften and I myself find that I crave more of what I haven't experienced
<dana^^> or raspberries... or... or... kinda molds into different things
<krista-F> yes actually Qtip
<motoki> it's hard to imagine any of my hard limits softening to be honest
<krista-F> but as you can see...i bounce back..:)
<wendy_> who is qualified to judge what is healthy and what isn't though I know I sure am not
<dana^^> hard limits shouldnt soften... they should be core values...
* MsMaple puts her hand up
<Marlin> depends on what the limit is
* lucy{H} agrees with dana
<paperclip> anything that takes from your life is not healthy.
<motoki> wendy - i'm distinctly and expertly able to assess what is healthy for myself
<wendy_> ok an example of that would be one of my hard limits used to be needles now after watching it being done I'd love to try it...those sort of hard limits is what I was referring to
<lucy{H}> breathing takes from my life...quite literally
* Marlin hears "Im not into pain" a lot from masochists
<paperclip> i have no hard limits at the moment.
<motoki> my hard limits are along the lines of things that could land me in jail, or the like
<motoki> my "terrrifed list" changes, not my hard limits
<wendy_> in the eyes of some people though we are all sick twisted abused or abusive individuals
* motoki reaches up and pulls an extra "r" out of terrrified
<Marlin> oh I like that motoki much better than limits
<dana^^> has so many activities i know nothing about ... havent looked into them so i cant say one way or another... but in a negoiated scene, my limits are well defined...
<Kilted_One> and I thought you were just rolling your arrrrse motoki???
<motoki> rolling my arse?
<_jade> there Master KO goes... talkin about arses again
* motoki checks her hard limits list
<dana^^> lol
<motoki> 's ok
<Kilted_One> not your arse your arrrrrrrse
<motoki> arse rolling is ok
<wendy_> I roll my arse around in this chair all the time lol
* lucy{H} is European, spent lots of time learning not to roll her arrrrrrse
<Marlin> me too or mine gets numb
<wendy_> yes lol
<dana^^> sooooo.... grins
<krista-F> my arse rolls naturally due to its size
<krista-F> back and forth...up and down
<Marlin> hmmmmm a moving target
<paperclip> lol
<dana^^> lol
<motoki> i think the thing i find difficult as a single submissive (who desires a colalred relationship with a Dominant that complements her) is simply walking into an event without that wonderful feeling that comes with being on the end of that one leash
<motoki> but until i'm on that leash, i have fun
<paperclip> oh i so know what you mean motoki and agree.
<motoki> and enjoy the people, and take in all the experiences i can
<princess{Jaysker}> and speaking from personal experience, those entrances can be pretty impressive all by yourself, motoki.
<dana^^> loves playparties but it does bring out that longing in me...
<wendy_> does a collar have to be a physical thing for you? see I don't quite understand collars other than using them as play instruments
<krista-F> i have conquered that feeling long ago....i go to socialize....and have no agenda or expectations
<wendy_> I don't need a collar to know I'm owned
<Marlin> same here
<krista-F> but....i have on occasion felt out of the loop
<motoki> a collar for me is figurative and symbolic just as much as physical
<dana^^> the collar around the heart is very powerful.. smiles..
<wendy_> yes
<catsbrat{CM}> my collar is in my heart
<dana^^> hard to remove too...
<krista-F> for i sometimes get the feeling people wonder what is "wrong" with
<Kilted_One> you need a collar to let everyone else know your owned
<krista-F> if you are alone...there must be some deep defect .....
<wendy_> years ago the only place you saw them was at fet events it's really only been since the invention of the internet that the physical collaring has evolved
<dana^^> very true Sir..
<krista-F> hidden to the casual observer
<motoki> i love collars
<motoki> every aspect
<Kilted_One> wonders if catsbrat{CM}'s heart beats OK with something in it
<Marlin> even people in relationships can be alone
<wendy_> absolutely Marlin
<dana^^> same here motoki... like "working" collars...
<krista-F> i serve by choice..not collar
<wendy_> that's why they invented masturbation I think LOL
<catsbrat{CM}> yep it beats ok but goes faster when CM is around ;o)
<motoki> lol wendy
<Marlin> I thought I invented it....turns out I didn't
<dana^^> smiles...
<paperclip> lol
<krista-F> just have the Guiness record for it Marlin Sir...:)
<paperclip> lol
<wendy_> lol
<Marlin> lol
<ModBot> There are only about five minutes left in the formal part of tonight's discussion. Does anyone have any last-minute thoughts on the subject?
<Marlin> I think he did
* motoki is having trouble focusing on the discussion after all this talk about collars
<paperclip> and masturbation
<dana^^> being single and submissive may not be the easiest thing to deal with... sometimes the longing can be so overwhelming... its finding a quiet balance... good friends... positive attitude... helping others helps also
<wendy_> lol
<Marlin> yes paperclip I noticed your responces in here are getting shorter
<krista-F> i had a day like that yesterday dana.....
<paperclip> lmao Marlin!
* paperclip was getting caught up in her tv show LOL you smartass!
<krista-F> that's smartass Sir pc
<Marlin> un huh
<Marlin> I want to believe you
<paperclip> lol krista-F, he is?
<wendy_> helping others if ok so long as it's not a Dominant trying to get me to teach him how to be a Dominant thereby leaving me to top from the bottom as I said earlier I don't want to be in a teaching position it just really confuses me
<paperclip> lol Marlin
<Marlin> I really doubt anyone can learn to be a dominant one is or not
<motoki> teaching and Dominance/submission would be a good future discussion
<Marlin> might be able to teach em to Top though
<wendy_> ok I worded that wrong sorry Marlin
<Marlin> not a problem
<dana^^> would suggest to the Dominant perhaps find a more experienced and skilled Person in the art they are seeking to learn... would be a better way to go
<wendy_> I should have said Top not Dominant
<wendy_> or point them to a mentor for that ?
<motoki> it was very difficult to teach Lady Nichola how to be a Dominant, let me tell you (ROTFL)
<krista-F> i get requests like that all the time wendy
<krista-F> i cannot teach a Dom to Dom...
<Marlin> a good top will seek out a mentor
<wendy_> me either krista
<dana^^> isnt about to say... oh sure... use dat single tail on me... lol
<krista-F> exactly Marliln
<Marlin> and to be fair I learned a great deal from submissives
<krista-F> Doms learn from other Doms....what do i know about it??..
* motoki was joking, for the record
<Kilted_One> shakes his head at motoki
* motoki goes and finds a hole to crawl into, too
<Marlin> first thing I learned ....they are not submissive to everyone
<paperclip> lol
<ModBot> Well, that's it for the formal part of the discussion. The discussion log is now closed. It should be processed and uploaded to the website soon. Please feel free to continue chatting informally. Have a good night, everyone!
<ModBot> Thank you to everyone who participated in the discussion.
<wendy_> no indeed