November 2 2003 EhBC Online Discussion

November 2, 2003 EhBC Online Discussion

<MasterGuny> whats going on with the disscussion?
<delyssa> It doesn't appear to have started
<sinfuly_delicious> hasnt started yet
<krista-F> no clue here
* delyssa looks for the bot
<Justice> guess you just started it MasterGuny - go
* sinfuly_delicious smiles
<MasterGuny> wonder if the bot is still on day light savings
<MasterGuny> I try and educate anyone who has a question
<jewel`{F}> it could be that Bernies computer is turned off as well
<MasterGuny> at munches at public parties...doing interviews
<jewel`{F}> we could always start anyway
<melody``> Bernie I doubt will be on line this evening
<melody``> he's likely still at KO's
<melody``> Does anyone desire to start the discussion
<jewel`{F}> do we have to educate the public?
<MasterGuny> I educate those that ask questions
<melody``> well by educating the public we inform the D/s curious of our existence
<_dove> Good question melody
<sinfuly_delicious> is it not almost a responsibility for those of us who have been involved in it to shed light to newer people with questions or at least direct them to places where the answers can be found or given
<jewel`{F}> wont those interested and curious seek us out, rather than us having to tell everyone what we do?
<melody``> sometimes a gentler aproach is better than anything.. noone like to have anything rammed down thier throat
<_dove> i would rather answer questions than promote the lifestyle directly
<sinfuly_delicious> but sometimes .. for instance... my mother knows about my lifestyle... the reasons why I todl her are irrevelant ... but I feel that I need to inform her that there is safety in what I do
<melody``> but how does someone know where to go to ask questions
* sinfuly_delicious with help from melody``
* melody`` smiles
<krista-F> in my area....i am kind of like the welcome wagon lady of bdsm
<krista-F> i talk to many people about the lifestyle.and help those that i can
<melody``> you know when we appear excited happy about it ..others will wonder ..is this so bad after all
<sinfuly_delicious> true melody``
<aurelle> i tired to educate my sister and she thinks i am in a cult and need therapy
<melody``> there are times to just keep it to ones self...
<sinfuly_delicious> as far as talking to the public in general about bdsm... I wouldnt openly tell everyone I was in this lifestyle.. unfortunetly its not accepted as much as we would like it to be... but there does seem to be some improvement in little steps
<aurelle> i live with her, and didnt want her to freak when she came upon my attire or happened to see my bruised bottom
<melody``> I live on the family farm.. my brother and mom are here...
<melody``> sometimes silence is golden
<aurelle> lol
* jewel`{F} makes note not to wear her collar to melody``s anymore
* John_nf1 agrees.... there is no sense in upsetting family..... if they are not kink friendly
<melody``> my mom has an awareness she chosses to ignore lol
<sinfuly_delicious> all i care to inform my mother is that the choices i make and the people I associate with are normal healthy people
<aurelle> cant help it when you share a one bedder with your sis and you are always walking in on each other
<aurelle> i wont tell my parents
<melody``> normal people scare me.. they tend to beyour psycopaths
<aurelle> lol true
<melody``> well how else can we portray DS on a lighter side
<jewel`{F}> pastel fet wear ?
<melody``> neon bunny suits
<jewel`{F}> glow in the dark nipple clamps
<aurelle> i think you just have to educate one openminded person at a time
<aurelle> perhaps leave erotic stories that portray the sensuality and warm side of things
<melody``> I believe politeness and respect go a long way towards how people see you
<melody``> thats cool idea
<melody``> The Ehbc web site is a great example
<melody``> I have never seen KINK .. is it a good example
<sinfuly_delicious> my first site I went to was castlerealm
<jewel`{F}> not the first thing i would want people to see as an education of what this lifestyle is melody``
<melody``> see ive never seen it
<melody``> I know there are some terricic books
<melody``> ok... so why do we even desire to inform the outside world.. why do we care how they see us
<sinfuly_delicious> well ... what about Black Rose for example?
<sinfuly_delicious> that was shut down because of ignorance as to what bdsm is and entails
<melody``> we are lucky we live in Canada
<sinfuly_delicious> but still there is alot of ignorance here too
<sinfuly_delicious> and I dont mean ignorance in a disrespectful tone
<sinfuly_delicious> just those who are ill informed or lacking any knowledge as to the basis of our lifestyle
<melody``> after womens liberation... what sane femalewould want to be subserviant
<melody``> please no offence to any male subs
<jewel`{F}> i think far too many believe all the misinformation out there, the erotic fiction, and think it is what D/s is all about
<melody``> god I wish it was....
<sinfuly_delicious> there is also those who dont have any clue as to the D/s aspects of it... and just dabble in the s/m
<melody``> get the hunk and sex and ds when ever I wanted ..wahooo
<jewel`{F}> we see it all the time online, folks thinking all they have to do is come online and they will find exactly what they want with in moments
<jewel`{F}> it happens at munches and fets as well
<sinfuly_delicious> well I dont know about that... but isnt that why there is kind of a responsibility to teach and inform those who are new
<melody``> people do well by learning by example
<melody``> if I say play safe than go off and do some dumb assed stunt what will they see
<sinfuly_delicious> true
<melody``> munches.. are a great example..
<melody``> if we are in a public venue.. dress up in fet ware and acting like its a private play party... how is the family walking by gonna feel
<sinfuly_delicious> true
<jewel`{F}> giving out all the information about things and teaching only works if those new really listen
<melody``> filter it in small bits and dont over elaborate
<sinfuly_delicious> true ... but I personally beleive that not giving them information or teaching them is a disservice as then they are left to possible fall into a trap or be hurt by lack of knowledge...would prefer to at least try then not try at all with someone
<_dove> i think there are 2 types of 'curious'........ those who are interested in joining the lifestyle, and those who just want to know why it appeals to us
<melody``> one is far easier to work with than the other
<jewel`{F}> even those given all the information will sometimes ignore it and still fall in with those that will take advantage
<sinfuly_delicious> yes but at least they were informed to begin with
<aurelle> dove, you have a good point
<sinfuly_delicious> what they choose to do with the knowledge given is their choice and nothing that we can do about it
<melody``> i see it like the "guakers block" on a highway after an accident.. people wanna know.. but dont wanna know...
<sinfuly_delicious> but giving them nothing is just not right to me
<aurelle> ive started offering people web sites to look at
<melody``> thats a good idea aurelle
<jewel`{F}> well i know that at least in this area, the info is out there, and 90% of the people are great
<ki-ya> how does one know who to trust to give them the right information in the first place? Are there people who will take advantage and lead them in a direction that may be wrong for them?
<melody``> ewww good question
<jewel`{F}> oh very much ki-ya, that is way taking ones time, talking to many is about the safest way to go
<aurelle> i figure the sites are well organised and people can read them at their leasure
<_dove> Even 'good' people can lead someone astray -- not everyone wants the same things
<jewel`{F}> exactly dove
<melody``> if your new to a community.. I recommend seeking out well known people..
<sinfuly_delicious> exactly
<_dove> multiple well known people
<jewel`{F}> well respected people
<jewel`{F}> someone can be well known but not respected
<melody``> munches.. go to a few...
<melody``> see who comes back , who people migrate towards
<ki-ya> how does one know who is respected when they have never known anyone and anything?
<sinfuly_delicious> listening is a good thing and askign around
<_dove> Ask around, at munches, here in the channels......
<sinfuly_delicious> never be afraid to ask peoples opinions on others
<jewel`{F}> by doing exactly what melody`` suggested
<melody``> for example.. if you go to a munch say 3 times.. every time.. say you see ummmmm.. Bernie... you notice many people chat or hug him.. a variety of people than its a safe bet he is a known respect individual
<jewel`{F}> or you see at those same 3 munches melody`` and she is always causeing trouble you know to avoid her
<melody``> follow your instincts.. take some time variety is graet
<melody``> lolol
<jewel`{F}> goind slow, being patient, don't rush into anything
* jewel`{F} hugs melody``
<ki-ya> oh so true:)
* melody`` hugs
<melody``> kiya have you ever been to a munch
<ki-ya> no, I don't know what BDSM stands for. night aurelle.
<ki-ya> very much a newbie
<melody``> well what brought you here love... dont worry I dont bite
<melody``> we all where once :)
<sinfuly_delicious> yes
<ki-ya> true, thank you for welcome arms
<jewel`{F}> seiously ki-ya, melody`` has been my rock over the last 2 years, a font of info for me
<jewel`{F}> and melody``
<jewel`{F}> you do so bite
* jewel`{F} grins
<melody``> only Dominates that own me lol
<ki-ya> have, yes and enjoyed it
<ki-ya> do you bite, anyone?
<melody``> you took a first step... discussions are terrific.
<jewel`{F}> okay lets start with what the BDSM mean
<ki-ya> please
<jewel`{F}> B=bondage
<jewel`{F}> D= Domination and or Discipline
<jewel`{F}> S= submission or Sadism
<jewel`{F}> or slave
<jewel`{F}> sorry
<jewel`{F}> M = masochism or Master
<jewel`{F}> just by mixing the letters up you can find what it is that interests you most
<jewel`{F}> that is the way it was taught to me
<melody``> ki-ya do you mind me asking if your from Ontario
<ki-ya> ok, thank you, I have just heard the terms bottom, top. meaning submissive, dominant, right?
<ki-ya> yes, Oshawa
<jewel`{F}> that is another meaning as well ki-ya
<melody``> cool
<melody``> well its how each individual describes themself
<melody``> I am submissive
<ki-ya> can one be both?
<jewel`{F}> ki-ya if you check out the calendar on the EhBC website there is a list of munches, brunches, and other events
<jewel`{F}> you are likely to find one near you
<melody``> there are those that are switches
<jewel`{F}> one that like to both beat and be beaten
<melody``> there is also a mailing list wete people discuss different topics and share info
<jewel`{F}> other chat rooms on IRC where we also meet up and talk
<ki-ya> thank you again, I will look into all this, and go to some munches
<jewel`{F}> you are very welcome ki-ya
<melody``> some people are not into sensation play they sre soley into the power exchange
<jewel`{F}> some want to be "played" with so hard they have bruises for weeks
* arhiannah nods nods nods
<arhiannah> pick me
<arhiannah> lol
<jewel`{F}> lol arhiannah
<melody``> lolol arhiannah is awake
<melody``> some like to be humiliated
<arhiannah> <-----having a maso-fit
<Johncin> I have the salt arhiannah :)
<arhiannah> lol Johncin...back for more body shots?
<Johncin> lol
<jewel`{F}> the TPE melody`` mentioned is Total Power Exchange
<ki-ya> yes enjoyed being bruised, yet sometimes I relished in giving
<melody``> so you have played before
<jewel`{F}> giving up control of even the simplest things to another, or taking control of and total responsibility for one
<ki-ya> only with a boyfirend in one relationship, not much though, never thought there was more to it, or how to find people
<jewel`{F}> how did you find us ki-ya?
<melody``> thank goodness for the internet
<melody``> please check out the EHbc web site .. there is a wealth of information
<ki-ya> friend who confided in me that she has enjoyed another part of herself. a good friend. I told her of some of my experiences and fantasies and she suggested to look at this website
* jewel`{F} gets out her copied from DA popups
* jewel`{F} Munches/Brunches are informal social gatherings where you can sit down and share some food and drink with like-mind people. If you've not attended a munch before, we encourage you to do so! It offers a relaxed social gathering for those of us interested in this lifestyle, both singles and couples, with a wide variety of ages and interests.
<melody``> chat with people on line we have several area rooms on this server
* jewel`{F} No scening or play occurs at munches/brunches. This isn't a play party, nor a dating service, more of a discussion group. It's simply a group of friends with common interest, who meet for dinner and/or drinks, to talk and laugh in a casual atmosphere.
* jewel`{F} To find out about Munches and Brunches, Play Parties, fetish nights, or Workshops in the Southern Ontario area, http://www.ehbc.ca or http://www.dssg.org/ or http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BDSMPersonals_Canada/ all have good calendars that list the events that are happening.
* jewel`{F} takes notes so we know how to beef up security
<ki-ya> well I have a daughter who has to go to bed, it was very nice talking with everyone, thank you, and will be meeting some people in Whitby, I just looked. hello cujo, and sorry to say goodbye to all
<jewel`{F}> good night ki-ya, and good luck on your journey of discovery