September 5, 2004 EhBC Online Discussion

<ModBot> This message is generated by Moderator Bot, ModBot for short. I've set an automatic message that reads as follows...
<ModBot> Welcome to or regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. We're having an open discussion tonight, with no set topic. The discussion is unmoderated. Enjoy!
<DarkAngel^{a}> shhhh the evil bot has arrived
<cdn_slave> are we using the default discussion?
<DarkAngel^{a}> I think the default is good *Evil Smile*
<DarkAngel^{a}> unless someone knows what the topic is ?
<cdn_slave> :)
<DarkAngel^{a}> `abi do you know what the topic is?
<`abi> no idea...I'm in email hell... I just got back from 8 days vacation
<DarkAngel^{a}> AHhh nevermind ,,, ModBot says "Open"
<cdn_slave> omy! welcome back
<`abi> thanks cdn_slave
<cdn_slave> yw
<DarkAngel^{a}> so does anyone have an interesting topic ?
<slave_kitten> how about the ramifications of a Master adding a second sub
<cdn_slave> **hears a pin drop**
<slave_kitten> or slave
<DarkAngel^{a}> sounds good slave_kitten ,,, is that something you are interested in,, or dealing with?
<slave_kitten> interested in Sir
* DarkAngel^{a} is in a relationship right now that IS looking for a second
<slave_kitten> is it difficult?
* `abi thinks that very occassionally it works ... but more often then not, it's disastrous
<DarkAngel^{a}> what are potential pitfalls you are trying to avoid slave_kitten ?
<slave_kitten> adjusting to another female vying for my Masters affections:)
<cdn_slave> would jealousy be a factor?
<DarkAngel^{a}> and what about your affections ?
* arain shrugs 1theres no way i can add anything to this discussion. bye all
<DarkAngel^{a}> is it just another slave for him/her, or is it a poly 3 way?
* slave_kitten shrugs.. i don't know
<DarkAngel^{a}> LOL ,, my slave wants a sister slave more than I want a second slave
* slave_kitten has never been in the situation
<DarkAngel^{a}> I am letting HER look
<slave_kitten> lol
<cdn_slave> :)
<DarkAngel^{a}> dont expect to find someone compatible tomorrow though slave_kitten ,,,
<DarkAngel^{a}> perhaps use the time to know what you both want out of the relationship
<slave_kitten> what everyone would want i assume
<DarkAngel^{a}> which is ??????
<slave_kitten> i have been approached to share and i am hesitant
<DarkAngel^{a}> care to tell us about it slave_kitten ?
<slave_kitten> oh.. i meant everyone as in the three parties lol
<cdn_slave> lol
<slave_kitten> :)
<DarkAngel^{a}> I dont understand who/how/why you were approached slave_kitten
<slave_kitten> oh.. someone is interested in sharing with me that is all
<DarkAngel^{a}> as in they want to share your Master ?
<DarkAngel^{a}> or was it your Master that asked you to share ?
<slave_kitten> as in they want to share me Sir
<DarkAngel^{a}> ahhhh
<DarkAngel^{a}> LOL ,,, 2 Masters ?
<DarkAngel^{a}> that is a twist to the usual discussion
<slave_kitten> anyway.. enough of me.. i thought this was a philosophical discussion lol
<DarkAngel^{a}> can 2 Masters/Misstresses share a slave ?
<Symmetre> maybe ... but I see a power struggle ahead
* DarkAngel^{a} <---- is too greedy
<slave_kitten> lol
<_dove{S}> i've heard of several Dom/Domme couples that share a slave
<DarkAngel^{a}> true ,,, as do I
<DarkAngel^{a}> if I was in a couple with a Domme ,, yes I can see that
<Symmetre> me too .... but personally ... I'm like you, DA .... way too greedy for that to stand a chance
<DarkAngel^{a}> good point _dove{S}
<DarkAngel^{a}> I clarify ,, I am too greedy to share my slave with another Dom (or Domme)
<catsbrat{CM}> i have a Dom and a Domme.........they are a married couple
<victoria_angel> DA, share for play is one thing, but would u let another D use her at a venue, like some other D's do with their slaves?
<_dove{S}> Other than Dominant couples, i would think it could get confusing for the submissive /slave if directives conflict
<victoria_angel> there are several D's who allow other D's to 'test' on owned slaves
<DarkAngel^{a}> I guess a slave is share-able ,, with an existing polly relationship
<Symmetre> perhaps ... but the relationship would have to supercede the slave
<_dove{S}> test what victoria_angel?
<DarkAngel^{a}> test how victoria_angel ?
<victoria_angel> without mentioning names, there are D's who allow other D's to put their sub/slaves on equipment and play, is that not borrowing?
<DarkAngel^{a}> I have let others "play" with my slave at different venues ,, DAL, KNaNO, Steeletto, Werx
<slave_kitten> is that so bad if penetration is not involved?
<victoria_angel> does that not cause issues or is that a problem when one is greedy
<DarkAngel^{a}> but they are only allowed to do what I have allowed ,,, they arent aurelle's temporary Masters
<Symmetre> that's somewhat different
<slave_kitten> what i mean is.... how bad is sharing at a venue.. it is not in a sexual nature
<_dove{S}> If we are talking about a scene, i would think that is different?
<victoria_angel> i'm not saying it is different
<victoria_angel> i've seen them shared
<DarkAngel^{a}> I dont lend my property out sexually
<victoria_angel> is that not the same = in public as in private, and i do not mean the inclusion of intercourse
<shadoe> *whispering hello to that sexy abi*
<slave_kitten> thats what i mean.. so what is the problem if you allow another Dom to play a scene?
<DarkAngel^{a}> slave_kitten ,,, did you forward the request to your Master ?
<_dove{S}> Being topped by another, and being dominated (controlled) by another are different things to me
<slave_kitten> which request are you talking about Sir?
<slave_kitten> exactly dove{S}
<DarkAngel^{a}> victoria_angel ,, playing with those other than your Owner ,, with permission and under the Owners rules ,, is common IMO
* Symmetre believes there is a very big difference between temporarily topping someone in a single scene with the slave's master in attendance, supervising ... and sharing a slave unsupervised over a longer period of time
* _dove{S} agrees with DA
<DarkAngel^{a}> slave_kitten ,, you were approched to be shared ,, did you pass the request to your Master ?
<slave_kitten> yes Sir
<shadoe> is she obliged to?
<cdn_slave> agrees with Symmetre
<DarkAngel^{a}> depends on thier relationship shadoe ,, and since I am not privy to their negociation ,, that is why I ask ,, lol
<shadoe> there's a few questions.. one.. why was she approached and not her Master
<shadoe> or Mistress
<shadoe> and is she obliged to report if she was?
<victoria_angel> i agree with you DA and Symmetre, but personally, it is the being borrowed out, that i have a problem with
<DarkAngel^{a}> my slave is obliged to pass on any request to play or interact with her
<`abi> why do you have a problem with it victoria_angel?
<slave_kitten> lol.. please don't pre-suppose that we are talking about me:)
<cdn_slave> but that was discussed DA in Y/your relationship?
<DarkAngel^{a}> nothing wrong with limits victoria_angel
<slave_kitten> the disscusion has WAY passed my situation:)
<DarkAngel^{a}> yes cdn_slave
<DarkAngel^{a}> they do that slave_kitten
<DarkAngel^{a}> lol
<victoria_angel> i have seen it work for some successfully, but for others not, leading to issues later on, it is something that has bothered a friend of mine quite deeply, and i have veered away from in possible relationships (at this time)
<slave_kitten> now if you want to indulge me in my fantasies..... lol
<shadoe> well i'm still confused as to why someone would approach the submissive..
<bondagebabe28> hi all - new and just visiting to check it out - pardon my french if I piss anyone
<DarkAngel^{a}> before aurelle was offered my collar ,, we discussed as much as possible
<DarkAngel^{a}> no prob bondagebabe28 ,, we are having a regular discussion ,, pls join in
<bondagebabe28> thank you - what is up for discussion?
<DarkAngel^{a}> and she is allowed no limits, except those discussed and allowed by me
<_dove{S}> There are some that will approach the submissive shadoe because then she bears the burden of asking permission (wrong imo, but it happens often)
<cdn_slave> i guess it all comes down to open communication?
<DarkAngel^{a}> sharing - bringing a 3rd into a relationship
<slave_kitten> well, i agree with you there Sir.. once a sub accepts a Master there should'nt be limits
<shadoe> then those "some" are not showing respect for the relationship
<DarkAngel^{a}> I dont allow my slave to ask permission ,,
<_dove{S}> no argument shadoe
<shadoe> that in itself would garner an instant no
<_dove{S}> i refuse to ask for someone else shadoe
<shadoe> *raising brow at slave_kitten*
<DarkAngel^{a}> aurelle is a natural submissive ,, she kept approaching me when people wnated to hug her ,,, I told her to stop asking for them
<DarkAngel^{a}> I didnt say that slave_kitten
<slave_kitten> asking for them? i don't understand
<DarkAngel^{a}> I said she gets those limits I agreed to
<_dove{S}> asking on their behalf
<DarkAngel^{a}> yup ,, if someone wants to hug, or play with my property ,, then they ask me
<shadoe> i'm with you dove
<DarkAngel^{a}> LOL,, I was asked the other day - for perpetual permission to hug aurelle any time the person wanted ,,, it was nice that they asked
<_dove{S}> lol
<slave_kitten> heh
<cdn_slave> lol
<DarkAngel^{a}> but that goes against MY kink of Power Exchange and High Protocol
<DarkAngel^{a}> that said ,,, HOW could a couple approach a 3rd ,,, OR a 3rd who is interested in a couple ?
<Seville{s}> it helps if they start by getting to know them as people first
<shadoe> and gets to know them as both people.. as opposed to one people and an extra
<shadoe> if that makes sense
<shadoe> grammatically it should of course be person
<`abi> this is starting to sound like math
<_dove{S}> lol
<DarkAngel^{a}> sound advice
<shadoe> *snicker*.. what i mean is..
<DarkAngel^{a}> only once the legs start to get divided `abi
<shadoe> if a third is interested.. that third needs to be interested in both
<shadoe> equally
<shadoe> not one-sided
<kierana{DRFL}> very true, shadoe...
<DarkAngel^{a}> definetly I agree shadoe ,,
<shadoe> yikes.. it does sound like math
<DarkAngel^{a}> aurelle and I both have (by my decree) veto on any 3rd
<_dove{S}> and both must be equally interested in the third, or it falls apart fast
<shadoe> exactly dove
<DarkAngel^{a}> with the exception on casual play ,,, I veto anyone I want ,, lol,, she cant decide who she or I plays with ,,LOL
<kierana{DRFL}> now, are Wwe talking a third play partner or living/sex partner?
<_dove{S}> been thereshadow - it doesn't work
<DarkAngel^{a}> but to be honest ,,, I only lend her to play with those she wants to ,, and I trust
<shadoe> DA .. i think you are referring to more casual
<DarkAngel^{a}> I was covering both actually shadoe
<slave_kitten> i would have a problem with the worry of pregnancy to be honest... i mean sharing a Master
<shadoe> really.. long term.. like years DA?
<DarkAngel^{a}> relationship 3rd ,, we both have veto ,,,, casual play my decision only
<shadoe> slave_kitten.. i can assure you.. pregnancy is not a worry here
* DarkAngel^{a} looks down ,, sees the little scars ,,, not a worry here either
<kierana{DRFL}> hmmmmmm someone else to do the dishes once in a while....not a bad idea...*grin*
<slave_kitten> generally tho... that must be a real fear for alot of girls
<slave_kitten> lol
<shadoe> you are right slave_kitten.. that's a valid point
<DarkAngel^{a}> either in a relationship OR casual ,,, safe sex is everyones responcibility
<victoria_angel> why slave_kitten, there is means for safe sex,
<slave_kitten> well, safe sex is not always safe.. let's be realistic
<shadoe> true victoria.. but history proves that protection means nothing if there's an agenda
<DarkAngel^{a}> I scared aurelle ,, told her I was going to go on the pill
<slave_kitten> yep.. you got it shadoe:)
<slave_kitten> lol
<kierana{DRFL}> lololol DA
<_dove{S}> and even protection carries some risk
<DarkAngel^{a}> viagra ,,,, LOL ,,, she has trouble walking now ,,, she would need a wheelchair then
<victoria_angel> but again, having a '3rd' dosn't entail sexual contact, it could also only mean playing
* kierana{DRFL} shakes head
<slave_kitten> well A/all i must leave.. night
<DarkAngel^{a}> true victoria_angel ,,, we have a casual friend ,, (Her Master allows us to play with her) ,, we only play , no sex
<shadoe> so are we talking a 3rd to play with.. occasionally.. no sex
<shadoe> or a third that is in the relationship?
<_dove{S}> thank you for asking shadoe lol
<victoria_angel> could be either way shadoe
<DarkAngel^{a}> we were talking about ANY type shadoe ,, lol,, the discussion is just bouncing around
<kierana{DRFL}> both i think, shadoe...which has more relevance for you?
<shadoe> well i'd like to figure out one at a time, thank you very much
<shadoe> casual play with a third is so LESS intense than a third in a relationship
<kierana{DRFL}> as for Master and i...Wwe are both able to play with Oothers...but no sex involved...and Wwe have to let each other know beforehand...and Master can veto my play if He doesn't know/trust the One i want to play with
<shadoe> casual is a ton of fun most of the time.. and less threatening
<shadoe> are you 24/7 keirana?
<kierana{DRFL}> no, not yet shadoe...Master lives in Barrie and i'm in London...*sigh*
<shadoe> :-(
<shadoe> bummer
<kierana{DRFL}> yeah...i know...specially when He can't come home for 4-5 weeks at a time...grrrrrr
<shadoe> so what about those who are long term.. do we have the same freedom as kierana?
<_dove{S}> i dont understand your question shadoe, sorry
<shadoe> are we able to play with others.. no sex.. at whim?
<shadoe> so long as we let each other know?
<kierana{DRFL}> lol shadoe...i may have the freedom to play with others, but in 2 yrs, i haven't done so...
<_dove{S}> in my case shadoe, it is completely Master's decision
<shadoe> cool dove.. so you don't have the freedom to decide..
<shadoe> *not saying that negative!*
<shadoe> dove.. are you 24/7?
<_dove{S}> shadoe - no. It's not something i want at this point anyway, but that is under Skyhawk's control.
<_dove{S}> i am 24/7 but don't share the same mailing address
<shadoe> same city?
<_dove{S}> no, but driving distance
<shadoe> cool "-)
<kierana{DRFL}> now that's another kicker...what do you term 24/7?
<shadoe> well in reality.. even if not in the same house.. it can be 24/7
<shadoe> what i'm asking.. in this instance i should have qualified.. and my mistake and many apologies
<shadoe> 24/7 live together should have been stated
<shadoe> sorry guys
<shadoe> err. girls
<shadoe> :-)
<kierana{DRFL}> ok...that's how i see 24/7 ... living under the same roof...*smiles*
* shadoe smiles at kierana
<shadoe> exactly
<shadoe> but driving distance counts
<shadoe> and actually even online counts
<ModBot> There are only about five minutes left in the formal part of tonight's discussion. Does anyone have any last-minute thoughts on the subject?
<shadoe> but after living with someone for more than 5 years
<shadoe> life changes
<kierana{DRFL}> true, all true, shadoe
<catsbrat{CM}> i consider myself 24/7 even though He lives in the States and i live here........just cause we are not together all the time i don't stop being His
<shadoe> not suggesting that you aren't catsbrat.. i've been in your shoes..
<kierana{DRFL}> i can understand that, cats...
<shadoe> but living with someone is different
<kierana{DRFL}> i never stop being Master's girl either...but...
* kesha{AL} peeks in
<ModBot> Well, that's it for the formal part of the discussion. The discussion log is now closed. It should be processed and uploaded to the website soon. Please feel free to continue chatting informally. Have a good night, everyone!
<ModBot> Thank you to everyone who participated in the discussion.
<kesha{AL}> good evening Seville Sir, shadoe <hugs>