July 6 2003 EhBC Online Discussion

July 6, 2003 EhBC Online Discussion

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<ModBot> Welcome to or regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. We're having an open discussion tonight, with no set topic. The discussion is unmoderated. Enjoy!
<becky> ruh rohhh .. there we go
<Trinshadow> ok is back
<Trinshadow> Wasn't the discussion about Elaborate scenes?
<shareena_> thank you arhiannah
<arhiannah> yw
<Trinshadow> Well Justice, are we starting?
<Justice> usually starts at 9 sharp
<Trinshadow> Is it not 9?
<shareena_> my clock says it is 9
<Trinshadow> ditto
<Justice> it is an open discussion Trinshadow - go for it
<Trinshadow> OH uh [laughs] I'm new at this, so I dunno.
<Trinshadow> Anyone?
<Justice> it's your chance to ask any newbie questions then Trin
<naughtyvickie> what constitutes an elaborate scene?
<`abi> I believe the intent is that it is related to scenes which require elaborate setups ... kidnappings etc.
<shareena_> oh that sounds kewl
<Trinshadow> Um, I do have a question if the topic's not set?
<Justice> ask away
<Trinshadow> How can you incorporate ritual into a scene?
<jewel`{F}> i think it would depend on the ritual
<jewel`{F}> for some it may be part of every scene that the sub starts in a particular postion
<krista-F> abi...you have done that if i recollect.....correct??
<naughtyvickie> or do a certain action first
<`abi> we have alot of ritual in our scening, yes krista-F
<krista-F> yes..and it is quite lovely to watch as i have stated before
* `abi smiles....thank you
<krista-F> i find rituals to be very comforting and comfortable to me
<_cassie> I can't speak from experience, but I would assume that a consistent ritual would go along way into helping you get into the proper mindset.
<krista-F> every time.....i meet Trainer Sir......even when we meet for dinner.....he does the exact same thing.....
<krista-F> and i love that.....even though our relationship is not the same as it was in the past...
<Trinshadow> What about mor formalized ritual, chanting etc?
* `abi smiles and wonders if 'ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod' counts
<Trinshadow> LOL
<naughtyvickie> lol
<krista-F> lol
* _cassie only chants that on roller coasters
<krista-F> or please please...more more
<krista-F> lol
<`abi> welcome to the biggest roller coaster ride of them all cassie ;)
<Trinshadow> Seriously though
<_cassie> yes, I'm starting to sense that *buckles in*
<`abi> it's your scene Trinshadow ... you can incorporate whatever you like into it
<Trinshadow> [nodding] end of question.
<_cassie> No one else has anything else to ask/add?
<naughtyvickie> i think it depends on the Dom/Master and the sub/slave and what they have agreed upon that makes them comfortable
<jewel`{F}> what is the most elaborat scene anyone has seen of been apart of?
<Trinshadow> None here
<jewel`{F}> i have heard of scenes that involve a lot of planning, or last days
<naughtyvickie> i have heard that too jewel`{F}
<naughtyvickie> i was talking to a Dom once and he told me he tied up a sub and left her that way for several days only allowing her about 15 mins twice a day to be untied and use facilities
<Trinshadow> omg! Isn't that.....dangerous?
<_cassie> I would think that would depend on how the person is tied.
<MasterGuny> unless he stayed in the room for two days yes
<naughtyvickie> he was always with her
<Trinshadow> Hm, I'd be afraid to do that.
<MasterGuny> rule is never left alone when tied
<Alix> When did he sleep?
<Alix> That's a technical question as this has always been a hot fantasy of mine
* Trinshadow nods
<Alix> But don't want to wake up and find a dead / dying person on my hands
<naughtyvickie> not sure
<Trinshadow> That woudl suck
<_cassie> Well, someone could be cuffed on one hand to a bed, chained to the bedpost, so unable to move far, but they could sit up, lie down, change positions, etc., but they would be at the mercy of their Dom/captor for the duration of something like that.
<jewel`{F}> very true cassie
<Trinshadow> Um ok, another question. How does a newbie gain any practical experience while still being safe?
<MasterGuny> read
<MasterGuny> ask questions
<_cassie> listen, talk to people
<BernieRoehl> That's a tough one. Since they're new, they don't know who to trust and who not to
<MasterGuny> come into hear and watch
<MasterGuny> munchs
<jewel`{F}> getting out to munches and talking to others
<MasterGuny> play parties
<Alix> I've been going to munches, it doesn't help
<Trinshadow> Exactly Bernie. That's where I fall short. I've read my brains out, and now want to play, but am not sure enough of myself.
<Trinshadow> My first munch was on Wed.
<jewel`{F}> going to workshops
<Alix> In fact going to the local munches only makes it worse
<BernieRoehl> What I would suggest, Trinshadow, is to start coming to events -- not to play, but to talk to people
<MasterGuny> start off very slow with a willing partner and ask lots of questions
<_cassie> Well, is it easier for a sub to be taught and guided than it is a Dom/me to learn things?
<_cassie> makes it worse, Alix? How so?
<Trinshadow> Would it be a good idea to find a more experienced partner to help me learn?
<BernieRoehl> Start by forming friendships with others in the community, and finding out who's who
<Alix> Because each person tells me that the other people can't be trusted
<BernieRoehl> Well, yes Trinshadow -- but of course there are some people who would delight in taking impressionable newbies and "helping them learn"
<_cassie> ah k
<MasterGuny> there are a number here that can
<Trinshadow> I've been lucky to already start that track, both with my friend in the UK and the people at EhBC
<jewel`{F}> i don't think it is any harder for Dominants to be taught or guided cassie, just that it is a mental hurdle many have to get past, "If I ask for help or to be taught, people will think I less dominant"
<Trinshadow> Ok so to branch off from that, is it a bad idea to try and bottom first, to get a feel for things?
<MasterGuny> not really Trinshadow unless its in you to
<BernieRoehl> There are two schools of thought on that. Some people feel that it's best to start at the bottom, others feel you to going with what you're naturally drawn to. I can see both points of view.
* Trinshadow nods
<Trinshadow> Can you elaborate Bernie, we didn't talk much on wed.
<MasterGuny> I have learned as much from subs as I have from Doms..probably more
<BernieRoehl> (It was nice meeting you on Wednesday, Trinshadow)
<Alix> Is it different for a male top than a female one?
<Trinshadow> And BernieRoehl, may I pm?
<jewel`{F}> going to play parties as well you can watch many different people and their techniques
<BernieRoehl> Elaborate on which part, Trinshadow?
<Alix> Here play parties are closed to non-experienced people
<BernieRoehl> Of course, Trinshadow -- no problem, and thanks for asking
<Trinshadow> Both schools of thought, and perhaps the merits of both?
<MasterGuny> were is here Alix?
<jewel`{F}> Alix may i as where here is?
<BernieRoehl> Where are you, Alix?
<Alix> Calgary
<MasterGuny> thats very unusual
<BernieRoehl> The Calgary scene, from what I've been told, has been a bit... political. That may be the reason.
<Alix> It's the political nonsense I can't get past
<Alix> It colours everything
<BernieRoehl> Locally (Southwestern Ontario) the general rule is that you have to have been to a munch or two before attending a play party
<jimmi_Da_troll> name me a city that isnt political?
<jewel`{F}> by non-experienced they could also mean that like here in Ontario, some parties like people to have been out to munches before the play parties
<Alix> Here it seems to mean that you have to be prepared to actually play
<Alix> Whatever that means
<MasterGuny> glad that was not in effect when I started..mind you there were no munches
<Alix> In fact, one woman recorded a bit of shock when she went to an Ontario scene and found there were spectators at all
<Trinshadow> lol
<MasterGuny> yes we have discussed the play out west in general chat it is very different
<MasterGuny> everyone at the party is expected to play
<Trinshadow> Are the local play parties different?
<MasterGuny> our play parties here are about 60% watch 40% play or in that general area
<BernieRoehl> Yes, that's about right -- 60/40
<BernieRoehl> Though it does vary from party to party a bit
<MasterGuny> and the night LOL
<jimmi_Da_troll> then you have thoes ppl that whish they could play but dont/cant
<Trinshadow> Wow really?
<`abi> some of us drive the average up
<jewel`{F}> really?
<Trinshadow> lol
<jewel`{F}> anyone we know `abi?
* `abi whispers innocently to jewel..4 I think I took your turn last time ;)
<BernieRoehl> That's an interesting question as well -- what if a newbie wants to play, but doesn't know who or how to approach?
<Trinshadow> [listens close]
<jewel`{F}> oh thats an easy one Bernie, all they need to do is talk to You?
* jewel`{F} grins
* BernieRoehl chuckles
<MasterGuny> Im not for that in public but thats me
<_cassie> check references? *grins*
<BernieRoehl> Well, yes, but that's not really a general solution to the problem
<Alix> How do you check references?
<MasterGuny> think its a train wreck looking to happen at some point
<arhiannah> the whiteboard was an excellent addition...giving those too timid to approach someone directly the opportunity to make their desire to play known
<_cassie> whiteboard? *looks confused*
<_cassie> what's a train wreck, MasterGuny?
<MasterGuny> I know of three cases of casual play that has gone totally off track..I made a long post on the dssg list why I don't agree with it
<BernieRoehl> We had a whiteboard at some of the local parties (DAL and KNANO) where people could sign up to indicate that they were available and what they were interestedin trying
<MasterGuny> I have seen things that I would not want happen to me
<ModBot> There are only about five minutes left in the formal part of tonight's discussion. Does anyone have any last-minute thoughts on the subject?
<BernieRoehl> However, only a couple of people ever used them, so they've pretty much been discontinued
<MasterGuny> I would not want a sub I don't know ask me to play then scream red when I did..that in this lifestyle is my worse nightmare
<BernieRoehl> By the way, we're officially looking for new discussion topics again. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know
<ModBot> Well, that's it for the formal part of the discussion. The discussion log is now closed. It should be processed and uploaded to the www.ehbc.ca website soon. Please feel free to continue chatting informallly. Have a good night, everyone!
<ModBot> Thank you to everyone who participated in the discussion.