July 4, 2004 EhBC Online Discussion

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<ModBot> Welcome to or regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. Tonight's discussion topic is "Roleplaying and BDSM". The discussion is unmoderated. Enjoy!
* mE-AFK is in the middle of nowhere area, roughly an hour from KW or London
<BernieRoehl> Actually, you're equidistant from two major centres, mE-AFK
<BernieRoehl> Glad to see some people around even on a long weekend!
<BernieRoehl> So, tonight's topic is about roleplaying. Has anyone had any experiences in that area?
<bridgeit> yes
<bridgeit> wouldnt most
<seeria> in the bedroom, no = )
<BernieRoehl> Any that come to mind as being particularly memorable?
<bridgeit> hmmm being new may be i should sit back and listen
<mE-AFK> I can roleplay in some situations, but struggle with it when it gets personal
<BernieRoehl> Not at all, bridgeit -- by all means, join in and share
<bridgeit> but i would have thought roleplaying and scening would be the same
<BernieRoehl> They're certainly related, bridgeit, but they can also exist separately
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> I think that roleplaying is totally different from scening
<seeria> mind explaining how?
<private_sassy{CP}> can we start by defining roleplay
<BernieRoehl> For some people, scenes are purely physical. For others, it's about becoming someone different (or perhaps more accurately, bringing out a particular aspect of who you are)
<seeria> *nods*
<BernieRoehl> Good idea, private_sassy{CP}. Anyone want to give it a shot?
* sultry_spirit{Omy} nods
<bridgeit> roleplaying for me would be the Pplayers being characters
<jewel`{F}> role playing can involve say Teacher/student Doctor/patient/nurse
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> well, roleplaying would be ... something like.. me tarzan you jane? right?
* sultry_spirit{Omy} chuckles
<bridgeit> for instance Warden / prison guard who just doesnt seem to leave the inmates alone
<BernieRoehl> Yes, those are all good examples
* sultry_spirit{Omy} nods
<BernieRoehl> Can we create a basic definition?
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> to act out different from ones self
<tyne-afk> "playing a character"
<bridgeit> playing a character would be my definition of roleplaying
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> agree
<BernieRoehl> That was easy
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> but isn't roleplaying another way of playing?
<BernieRoehl> So what scenarios have people tried? So far we've had several mentioned -- teacher/student, doctor/patient, guard/prisoner, tarzan/jane
<BernieRoehl> Any others?
<jewel`{F}> play rape
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> age play, rape play...
<BernieRoehl> Hmm... rape fantasies seem to be a popular choice
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> animal play
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> or puppy play
<BernieRoehl> And how have they worked out?
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> not sure myself , never tryed rape play
<seeria> forced service rp?
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> sexual service , I would say yes seeria
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> to be attacked and then force to serve..
<bridgeit> i guess the ones i have done have been more discipline
<seeria> would these always take place in a bedroom?
<BernieRoehl> So kind of a kidnapped-slave fantasy, sultry_spirit{Omy}?
<bridgeit> no not necessarily
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> yes, BernieRoehl Sir, something like that I guess *smile*
<jewel`{F}> they wouldn't have to seeria
<BernieRoehl> So how elaborate have people gotten in staging the various scenarios? Has anyone made use of costumes or props?
<Copper> I think the best "take me" fantasies don't take place in the bedroom
<bridgeit> yes
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> but , my question if I may be so bold. Is if a " Couple" for say is vanilla most of the time and then D/s would D/s be a role play?
<bridgeit> i answered the door in complete uniform, cuffs on the uniform and said one opening line and then let Him take it from there
<seeria> I would think so sultry, they've books on that actually
<private_sassy{CP}> i think anytime you pretend to be someone you are not is roleplaying
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> then the Domminator would be only in character, and also the submissive. So then what say if it's the opposite. A "Couple" 24/7 D/s, but yet vanilla in vanilla situation. Role play again?
<BernieRoehl> I think the more general answer to that question, sultry_spirit{Omy}, is that we all have different sides of ourselves that we put forwards in different situations
<private_sassy{CP}> W/we are 24/7 D/s even in vanill situations
* sultry_spirit{Omy} smiles
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> Thank Y/you
<BernieRoehl> Which are real and which are roleplaying is really just a matter of perspective
<private_sassy{CP}> i agree
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> agree BernieRoehl Sir,
<BernieRoehl> Getting back to the question of staging... has anyone tried using props/costumes/prepared dialog to help create the mood for a scene?
<OMY> i would consider role play as somethign along the lines of an interogation scene, school girls, nurse, doctor, etc. Where you are being an actor so to speak and fulfuilling a role
<private_sassy{CP}> i have never done it Sir
<Copper> AS a sub - and I'm new and realize I didnt enter my name correctly -
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> agree M'Lord , but as private_sassy{CP} I haven't done any roleplaying
<Copper> As a newbie roll playing can give me a way to let go as i learn
<OMY> I've used props and costumes Bernie and they certainly help in getting into the mood.
* BernieRoehl nods
<bridgeit> whenever i roleplay i dress for it and have just a start of dialog, bring in appropriate props as well
<paperclip> i would think a newbie would have a harder time in roleplaying, no?
<BernieRoehl> I find the same thing -- it's extra preparation, but even a few items can add to the reality of the scene
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> bridgeit , do you have time before starting to kinda get into the role?
<OMY> Yes...hard to do a takedown scene where your supposed to have a knife and use a straw instead.
<seeria> lol
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> lol
<Copper> lol
* BernieRoehl smiles
<private_sassy{CP}> i would find roleplaying hard to do
<bridgeit> yes i do, but thats when i am starting the roleplay, not when He is starting with an idea of His
<seeria> try the crafters from the SCA.... their merchants make great looking, but safe weapons
<mE-AFK> I have the difficulty with role playing with a partner in an intimate way in thet it is kinda like lying, or faking something. Deep seated, hard to overcome. Anyone out there have similar feelings?
<OMY> Why is it hard private_sassy{CP}?
<paperclip> i do mE-AFK.
<seeria> I would have to agree with mE
<private_sassy{CP}> You know me OMY Sir......i am who i am i find it hard to play someone i'm not
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> what do you mean hard to overcome?
<private_sassy{CP}> without giggling that is
<seeria> lol
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> lol
<bridgeit> i think i look at it as an acting role, so just doing a play
<seeria> its hard to slip into a role you are not comfortable with or don't know how to act out
<BernieRoehl> One way of thinking about it, mE-AFK, is that you're both "in" on it -- so there's no lying involved. You're both agreeing to a particular variation on reality, so to speak.
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> that I can understand seeria
<OMY> You don't think you could play say a little school girl private_sassy{CP}?
<private_sassy{CP}> not without laughing my head off and getting into trouble
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> LOL
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> go for it private_sassy{CP} *wink*
<Copper> but if playing a part lets you express something you might not have before - isnt't tha just another level of accrptance/submission
<bridgeit> sounds like a school girl to me
<Copper> ?>
<OMY> Well that's part of the school girl scene private_sassy{CP}...so your all set!!
<private_sassy{CP}> i can't see Corporal Punishment as a school teacher
<BernieRoehl> The giggling could easily be part of the roleplay, private_sassy{CP} -- laughing in class, for example
<bridgeit> for sure, or worse yet, laughing at the Teacher
<bridgeit> that'll get ya in trouble
<private_sassy{CP}> so maybe a school girl would not be that big a stretch for me
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> depending on the role , I would think copper. It could be dangeous if the character trigers something in someones mind. That's when communitation between both has to be strong
<OMY> How do you figure that Copper? So when I role play I am showing another level of Dominance?
<Copper> I'm actually thinking that it might be a way to explore something that you have no experience with
<Copper> (remember i'm new)
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> I would think roleplaying would be fun.
<OMY> How about CP as the vice-principle private_sassy{CP}?
<private_sassy{CP}> oh boy
<private_sassy{CP}> see i'm getting myself in trouble already
<private_sassy{CP}> lol
* jewel`{F} pictures CP more as the Dean
<seeria> lol
<Copper> If you can give someone a seniero (I also can't spell) you can have a "levle of defined reaction and the gage what happens fromthere
<private_sassy{CP}> lol
<OMY> 1Laughing 140ut 1Loud
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> or a teaching telling you a lay for an A private_sassy{CP} .. lol
<OMY> Dean of the School of Hard Knocks? 1Laughing 140ut 1Loud
* private_sassy{CP} sees CP more as a Drill Seargent
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> well I guess I'll soon have the expirences of roleplying .. Won't I M'Lord? You Chief , me indian *wink*
<seeria> Seargent Payne... let me teach you how to deal with the pain!
<Omy> I maybe over generalizing, but I think the schoolgirl roleplay is pretty common and not to much of a stetch. What about other roles...which ones were interesting?
<seeria> pirates = )
<private_sassy{CP}> i have not done any......but this conversation has intrigued me
<Omy> Pirates?
<Copper> Do we have to hold knives in our teeth?
<seeria> haha
<Copper> CAN we hold knives in out teeth?
<_dove{S}> lol
<Omy> yes and do floggers at 20 paces
<seeria> wouldn't be much different than a prisoner/guard deal i would think. Just set more back in history, pirates pillaged and plundered and kept the women
<private_sassy{CP}> mmmmmmmmmm floggers
<Copper> at sunut
<Copper> SunUp
<Copper> at 40 paces
<seeria> at the crack of a whip? lol
<Copper> as we crack it at Dawn
<bridgeit> has anyone done medical play
<Copper> that would be Dawn the great priate.
<Sweet1`> or pony/puppy play allowing the animal side to come out
<BernieRoehl> I have, bridgeit, though it's not really my thing (I'm not into needle play, which is often part of the doctor/patient scenarios)
<Omy> No..no medical play...although I have thought about the Doctor and the umm head nurse
<bridgeit> for me i prefer if the roles also mix age play
<BernieRoehl> Ageplay is very popular, and can be part of the other scenarios
<mE-AFK> mmmnnnn medical play
<Omy> Isn't the schoolgirl thing a form of age play?
<bridgeit> for sure
<BernieRoehl> Absolutely, Omy
<private_sassy{CP}> i would think so
<bridgeit> but what i am saying, is if i was playing Doctor/patient, i would want to be a young patient, perhaps a school girl
<Copper> How about the NEW young doctot and the older patient
<bridgeit> can get complicated and a challenge to stay in role for a long period of time
<Copper> ala Mrs Robinson
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> and how about just looking around us.. What comes to mind when your out camping or something. Role play can be very interesting.. Bigfoot and his toy?!
<Omy> Bondage Gorilla and the chimp?
<Copper> lol
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> lol
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> something like that
<seeria> lol
<bridgeit> age play the opposite way wouldnt appeal to me but thats interesting, i wonder how many that do age play like to be young or old or will play both
<private_sassy{CP}> bringing my dog cage to camp so if Sir wants to do puppy play
* sultry_spirit{Omy} nods
<Omy> anyone done roleplay where the roles are more everyday...like Boss and secretary?
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> that's not roleplay M'Lord.. That's reality!
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> well.. not the way you play it
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> scrach that
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> I didn't say a word
<private_sassy{CP}> lol
* sultry_spirit{Omy} kneels quietly zipping her mouth shut
<seeria> we can always take roles from novels we've read, at least the char's personality but give it our own "ending' so to speak
<Omy> ohh there is an interesting idea
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> little red riding hood?
<bridgeit> Rhett and scarlett
<Omy> Sir Stephen and O
<private_sassy{CP}> there was a D/s couple if there ever was one
<private_sassy{CP}> Rhett i mean
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> The Love Slave
<SirGriz> I am partial to the Wolf and little red riding hood.....lol
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> Sleeping Beuti was a good book...
<SirGriz> all three of them
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> Beauti.. sorry typo
<bridgeit> sitting on Santas knee can be fun
<seeria> I guess for the big time sadistics, taking chars from Stephen King books might work lol
<bridgeit> seeria shhhhh
<Copper> As someome completely new to this, who is just beginning to communicate feelings and wants, I think roll playing could give an unsure sub a way to express what she/he may not be able to say in words. The TEACHER/STUDENT play we have been talking about with (let us admit ) a bit of "old had distain" can be a good way for a new sub to try to express her/his ideas and feelings. We all know what he rolls are supposed to be an
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> hmmm... Sleeping Beauti by Anne Rice was wicked!
<SirGriz> I have the collection
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> yes copper
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> it can be a good way, and a journal is a wonderful way as well.
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> Oh! someones journal. now that can be an interesting book to roleplay
<Copper> I am looking forward to the Jounaling chat in august
<seeria> me too
<private_sassy{CP}> my journal would not make a good scene
<private_sassy{CP}> lol
<seeria> lol
<Copper> sence when has good sence has anything to do with it?
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> but the emotion, and passion in ones journal can make a wonderful character and help the submissive to let go, and help the Dom to see more clearly . right?
<Omy> Agreed sultry_spirit{Omy}
<seeria> *nods*
<Copper> that is also when the trust factor comes in
<BernieRoehl> So what are the things that go into making a roleplay scene work?
<Omy> Consent of each partner
<Copper> both players want it?
<bridgeit> active creative participants,
<Copper> potential learning from it
<Omy> some fore thought into what you want to accomplish
<bridgeit> some props
<Copper> Hey Omy - are you lookin over my shoulder
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> mind set and eager
<Copper> ?
<Omy> I think props, costumes, and location are helpful
<seeria> lol
<Omy> I was about to ask you the same Copper ;)
<Copper> lol
<seeria> planning. perhaps not overly scripted but at least an outline? or just let it flow as it will.
<bridgeit> i think there can only be a start to the scene and the rest has to be off the cuff
<ModBot> There are only about five minutes left in the formal part of tonight's discussion. Does anyone have any last-minute thoughts on the subject?
<Copper> I think it can be a great learning tool for both sides
<bridgeit> planning too much would make it hard to incorporate if surprising the other
<Omy> I think seeria that having an outline is helpful...use it as a guideline and then then the energy flow and see whwre it takes you
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> when roleplaying does it really need a script?. I mean, can't you improvide and let your imagination go. I would think one can really open up that way.. non?
<bridgeit> sultry i agree with u
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> typo.. improvise
<spankablecyn> Although I collect and make costumes it still will not influence the scene or direct what my Dom wants to do, sometimes it can
<seeria> some planning must be done. Dom/me's plan out a scene to an extent, no reason it wouldn't be similar for a rp session
<Omy> Actually I don't seeria
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> agree, planning and knowing what is the foundation of the scene.
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> but not to know all
<seeria> explain, please
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> it would take the surprise out of it and also the fun
<Copper> I think roll playing can be a tool to help new subs as well. Give them a comfort zone and then you know where to move from.
<Omy> I do have a starting point...and then I just let the energy take over....that's why I have a big toy bag <eg>
* sultry_spirit{Omy} nods
<Copper> lol
<leatherdoll> hello everyone
<spankablecyn> When we do role play it is impromptu, usually started by single sentance
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> M'Lord, you have more then just the one " big bag "...
<bridgeit> yes spankable thats our way too
<ModBot> Well, that's it for the formal part of the discussion. The discussion log is now closed. It should be processed and uploaded to the www.ehbc.ca website soon. Please feel free to continue chatting informallly. Have a good night, everyone!
<ModBot> Thank you to everyone who participated in the discussion.
<sultry_spirit{Omy}> or action .. i think so spankablecyn