June 22, 2003 EhBC Online Discussion

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<ModBot> Welcome to or regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. Tonight's discussion topic is "What Makes a Good Play Party". The discussion is unmoderated. Enjoy!
<`abi> decent music ... please god ... no Cher
<naughtyvickie> lol abi
<naughtyvickie> music does set the mood
<jewel`{F}> no bubble gum pop stuff either
<`abi> it sure does naughtyvickie ... it can make or break a scene for me
* Indulgenc luvs enigma personally " principles of lust"
<Kenjiro> well prepped Monitors
<naughtyvickie> i like to have Culture Clubs "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me" playing lol
<Indulgenc> thts good too:P
<Indulgenc> hehe
<jewel`{F}> what about having a variety of equipment?
<Kenjiro> open door policy is good
<`abi> why do you think that's good Kenjiro?
<`abi> I have a preference for ticketed events
<Kenjiro> why ticketed? makes for a large party, yes?
<`abi> well, most of the events I attend are ticketed and they sell out
<`abi> but knowing that people can't just walk in off the street makes me feel more comfortable
<Kenjiro> I have only gone to a small number of play parties. I am abit public shy.
* `abi nods ... do you feel more comfortable with an open door policy?
<Kenjiro> I too prefer the ones with security. But also I enjoy the smaller ones where it is private, and the security are all involved.
<Kenjiro> yes, in a private setting. I believe large parties are all in open areas, at least the ones I have attended.
<Indulgenc> Laters:)
<`abi> well, we generally refer to about 4 levels of public/private
<Kenjiro> what have others experienced that was good?
<jewel`{F}> what are you meaning by "open door" Kenjiro?
<`abi> public....where anyone can walk in off the street
<`abi> ticketed ... where people must be known and purchase tickets in advance, but which are held in large venues
<`abi> private parties ... which are by invitation only ... usually in someone's home
<Kenjiro> jewel`F: in a private party, no door is allowed to close so that d.monitors can always check in on those at play for safety.
<`abi> and private ... between two people
<`abi> ahhhh...is that what you mean by open door Kenjiro?
<Kenjiro> y
* `abi smiles ... alright ... I misunderstood
<jewel`{F}> okay, any party i have been to the "play area" is pretty much open, with a few more private areas but yes for the most part the doors are left open
<Kenjiro> nods
<Kenjiro> areas for different kinds of play, and spot lights on certain techniques early
<Kenjiro> then free play after a break
<Kenjiro> quiet area for rest
<`abi> it's interesting that the format and style of different venues varies considerably ... and more so from community to community
<jewel`{F}> but don't most organizers make sure of some basics?
<`abi> I think that one of the really nice things about so many regular fet-events popping up is that people can find the kind of atmosphere that suits their scene-style best
<`abi> what would you consider the basics to be jewel?
<jewel`{F}> socializing area, sectioned off play area, cool down area, refreshents if only drinks, and safety features like DMs and first aid areas
<slave_earl> is there usually a dress code or can subs and slaves be kept naked?
* `abi nods ... I agree ... and I think if those basics are handled well, then the event will be successful ... even if other factors are variable
<`abi> depends on the venue earl ... some venues allow full nudity ... others do not allow genital nudity
<`abi> it often has to do with liquor licensing
<Kirspin> Strickly Private parties, then the Host makes his or her own rules regarding Nudity
<_cassie> also if it's considered a private "club" with membership (even if it's just for the night).
<`abi> what do people think about dress codes for parties...the other end of the spectrum is events which enforce a fetwear dresscode
<`abi> flash your Northbound tag or you don't get through the door
<yummy> i don't have enough fet wear to qualify, so if an event is "dress to impress" i normally stay home
<Kirspin> Fet wear is expensive, so I stay away from Parties demanding full leather, also I like my comfort
<jewel`{F}> closest i have to fet wear is my renassaince outfit, or a cheerleader costume i made for a "school girl" event
<Kirspin> thats sometimes okay, except maybe for Northbound events
<Kenjiro> one can always make leather clothing
<Kirspin> Yes true, I have Chaps and leather too but again I guess I am lazy but in Hot and humidmweather I like to be comfortableand cool
<Kenjiro> or black clothing, or go au natural. . . .
<Kirspin> Especially if you as a Dom are doing lots of flogging etc, its hot work!
<Kenjiro> Black linen
<jewel`{F}> You could always be like KO and wear a skirt
<Kirspin> Thats a A Kilt, not a skirt and it is a huge garment, goes around several times too
<jewel`{F}> lol, i know
<Kenjiro> I think it is more whether you and yours have a good time, not what you wear
<Lady_Meadows> and wool if I'm not mistaken
<`abi> so, what makes for a good time Kenjiro?
<jewel`{F}> good company
<Kenjiro> come, abi . . . . I'll show you . . .
<Kirspin> probably some are not as heavy but do beleive his is all Wool
<Kenjiro> I think if people are good with one another
<`abi> lol
<Kenjiro> follow the house rules and Monitors guidance
<slave_earl> what makes a good time, the people!
<`abi> what creates that intangible 'chemistry' at an event?
<Kenjiro> and can expect a safe and fun place, without too many distractions
<Kenjiro> that is a long way there. Also, if you can make some friendships
<Kenjiro> learn some things, share some things, then it is a good day.
<Kenjiro> it is a complex question. Timing can be a big issue as well.
<Kenjiro> when the event is.
<jewel`{F}> Kenjiro have you been to any of the local events that you would say you enjoyed?
<Kenjiro> a few.
<Kenjiro> yes.
<Kenjiro> of course
<jewel`{F}> i have only been to DAL and KNaNO, i enjoyed them both extremely
<Kirspin> Last October I played in Public at Steelfetto, really enjoyed that evening too
<krista-F> i enjoy being with friends....that is what makes it for me.....personally
<jewel`{F}> Steeletto is one event that i would really like to get to when Master's schdule will allow it
<Kenjiro> friends makes the world
<krista-F> when i am feeling adventurous....i travel out of town
<Kenjiro> make the world
<krista-F> when i need to feel..loved and cared for...i attend my home club
<_cassie> Is Stelletto similar to Dal and KnaNO?
<`abi> yes cassie ... Steeletto is a Hamilton event
<krista-F> yes.....it is cassie...i have been to steeletto...great event
<jewel`{F}> from what i have heard cassie, yes
<Kenjiro> why so good ?
<krista-F> large play space
<krista-F> great hosts
<Kirspin> Sterelfetto has lots of Space and lotsd of play stations
<krista-F> well run
<Kenjiro> ic
<Kenjiro> how to make play parties easier for newbies? Should we do anything?
<krista-F> friendliness always goes a long way Kenjiro .....
<`abi> a very good question Kenjiro .... everyone has their first party ....what makes it a good vs. bad experience?
<naughtyvickie> maybe have someone who has been there stay with the newbie and show them the ropes
<`abi> literally naughtyvickie ;)
<jewel`{F}> i was lucky enough to have some very good friends that prepared me for it before hand, letting me know what to expect, how to deal with anything i had questions with etc
<krista-F> i remember going to DAL the first time.......
<krista-F> had no clue...was going to wear jeans and a t-shirt....
<Kirspin> I think its good if you are a new person, just go to a Party and watch, its good education for next time
<krista-F> a local sub took me shopping and helped me find something appropriate....
<naughtyvickie> i had a friend who allowed me to follow her around the first time i was at DAL
<krista-F> i would have really felt out of place if she had not
<Kenjiro> watch once or twice then look to play is a good guideline.
<`abi> naw krista-F ... you could have just ripped some stragic holes in the jeans and t-shirt ;)
<krista-F> i know that now......but didn't then!!
<krista-F> or hell.just take em off
<`abi> lol..ya, that'd work too
<DarkAngel^{rt}> MMmmmm quiet here tonight
<krista-F> i had my mouth runnin a min ago Sir
<`abi> well, DA ... you're the expert ... what makes a good play party?
<naughtyvickie> a temp guide would help a newbie feel mor at home
<victoria_angel> DA - everyone was talking about good parties - and i understand your is one of the better ones - wink
<jewel`{F}> for my first party i was dressed much like i would have for a semi formal vanilla event
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I started that rummour victoria_angel ... lol
<DarkAngel^{rt}> no expert here `abi ,,, I am still learning
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I immagine the focus is on a house party ?
<Kirspin> All parties not just private ones
<DarkAngel^{rt}> the majority of people planning a party would be doing a private house one
<Achilles{tr}> A party can have equipment, DM's, food and a great soundtrack but it will always come down to the chemistry of those attending whether the party will be 'good' or not.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> absolutely Achilles{tr}
<DarkAngel^{rt}> you have to make your own fun
<Achilles{tr}> However, DA and His crew do seem to have the skill for providing an environment where such chemistries can flourish.
* DarkAngel^{rt} sits back to listen to the discussion ,,,, I am taking notes
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I have never had a house party ,,, what makes them different ?
* DarkAngel^{rt} winks at rhiannon{KO} ,,, the house party queen
<rhiannon{KO}> ok DA i get the hint..LOL...i thik what makes them different is the fact most of the people know eachother..
<jewel`{F}> i would hope a lot fewer people than are at one of Yours Sir, i can't imagine having to clean up the house after over 100 people had been through it
<rhiannon{KO}> AND the rules are different..;)
<krista-F> i have only been to one house party...and it was the only time i have ever been injured....
<Kenjiro> how do you introduce new people to your parties rhiannonKO?
* DarkAngel^{rt} is hungry for some reason
<rhiannon{KO}> i would bring them to a couple of munches first...introduce them to a few of O/our friends, then i would be with them or close by them the night of the party....some private parties can be overwhelming to a new person.
<soulful_kitten> oh for sure i would have to agree, my first one i was very overwhelmed
<Kenjiro> it is true. So you would get to know them first, and let them get to know you
* DarkAngel^{rt} was shy at his first Play Party
<soulful_kitten> my first one scared the bejesus out of me
<krista-F> me too
<rhiannon{KO}> for sure Kenjiro. i would never invite a stranger to one of O/our house parties.
<Kenjiro> I remember mine was a peak experience, but I also traveled to a big city to do it
<ModBot> There are only about five minutes left in the formal part of tonight's discussion. Does anyone have any last-minute thoughts on the subject?
<Kenjiro> It was as amazing as it was overwhelming.
<krista-F> i would never invite strangers to a vanilla party i was hosting either
<Kenjiro> true
<Kenjiro> good point.
<rhiannon{KO}> there is a whole new set of rules the govern public and priviate parties....and some parties would scare the crap out of some people.
<`abi> the whole dead people things scares alot ;)
<krista-F> dead people???????????
<krista-F> eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
<rhiannon{KO}> i should say, a different set of rules that govern each.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> lol
<Kenjiro> naw, really, The Irish started it.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> hey ,,, we cleaned that up
<soulful_kitten> for some who have not seen/expierenced edge play that is scarey, also it is different the first time you watch others play than when you do it yourself
<rhiannon{KO}> LOL....yup, just take your dead with Y/you.
<Kenjiro> one good stiff deserves another.
<Kenjiro> edge play is not dead play.
<krista-F> what is dead play...never heard of it....
<krista-F> i live a sheltered life....
* rhiannon{KO} doesn't think she has ever heard of dead play....i know there is "playing dead" but what is dead play???????
<DarkAngel^{rt}> just a joke krista-F ,,, that at an intimate private house party ,,, there can be almost NO rules ,,, with the joking exception for participants "to take care of their own dead"
<krista-F> thanks Sir....hate to be the dumb ass of the group
<DarkAngel^{rt}> actually you have a nice ass dear
<Kenjiro> lets not talk about necrofilia. (sp.) I've heard it so much it is like beating a dead horse.
<ModBot> Well, that's it for the formal part of the discussion. The discussion log is now closed. It should be processed and uploaded to the www.ehbc.ca website soon. Please feel free to continue chatting informallly. Have a good night, everyone!
<ModBot> Thank you to everyone who participated in the discussion.
<rhiannon{KO}> hummmmmmmm Dumb Ass=DA...nope krista-F, i don't think you are the DA of the group... hehehehehehehe