June 8 2003 EhBC Online Discussion

June 8, 2003 EhBC Online Discussion

<ModBot> This message is generated by Moderator Bot, ModBot for short. I've set an automatic message that reads as follows...
<ModBot> Welcome to or regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. Tonight's discussion topic is "More than One on One". The discussion is unmoderated. Enjoy!
* BernieRoehl smiles, glad to see ModBot is still working
<cynful{G}> Hello BerniRoeh
<BernieRoehl> Hi, cynful{G}
<BernieRoehl> Just to fill everyone in a bit on the topic... it originally came from people asking about scenes with multiple tops
<BernieRoehl> (and possibly multiple bottoms as well)
<DarkAngel^{rt}> oh that is terrible
<DarkAngel^{rt}> who would do such a thing?
* BernieRoehl chuckles
* cynful{G} raised her eyebrows
<Achilles{tr}> Anybody who had a chance.
* BernieRoehl nods in agreement with Achilles{tr}
<DarkAngel^{rt}> good point Achilles{tr}
* cynful{G} bites her bottom lip
* Sir_StephenS signals affirmative as well
* BernieRoehl notices that a bunch of us Doms have spoken up, is eager to hear the submissives' views
<`abi> I find it distracting
<cynful{G}> I have to ask Master about this
<Sir_StephenS> distracting from what, abi
<DarkAngel^{rt}> what part is distracting abi ?
<BernieRoehl> distracting, abi?
<`abi> well, apparently that was clear as mud
* DarkAngel^{rt} is distracted by `abi's comment
<`abi> I find it distracting to have another bottom in the scene ... some of my attention gets diverted to her
* cynful{G} runs back and sits down
<`abi> and I find it distracting to be double topped as well, because it splits my focus
* `abi shrugs ... but, that's just me
<`abi> I'm old, I can't concentrate on too many things at once
<BernieRoehl> I know a lot of bottoms enjoy being the focus of the scene (for one or many tops), but are less enthused about having a second bottom -- unless it's someone they're close to
<DarkAngel^{rt}> well I have double Topped,,, as well as shared multiple bottoms during a scene
* BernieRoehl chuckles and relates to the age thing
* Achilles{tr} hums some Pirates of Penzance tunes while He watches...
<`abi> nasty
<cynful{G}> If it only included discipline it would be fine, Master says
<BernieRoehl> ??
<BernieRoehl> As opposed to having a more psychological element, cynful{G}?
<`abi> and what do you say cynful{G}?
<cynful{G}> I agree
<BernieRoehl> So besides DA and yself, who here has tried multiple-top and/or multiple-bottom scenes?
<earl{MS}> raises hand
* Sweet1` puts hand up
<DarkAngel^{rt}> multiple bottoms can wear a poor guy out
<DarkAngel^{rt}> lol
<cynful{G}> :)
<earl{MS}> double the pleasure also
<Achilles{tr}> It is more difficult when splitting between two different bottoms. Each with different needs, limits and wants. One could do a scene which is kind of the lowest common denominator for both or scene, in effect, with each at the same time but differently.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> although I do say that a single partner for play is prefferable to me ,,, I can get into Dom space then
<Achilles{tr}> Kind of like using double floggers. Tow identical ones may be easier to wield but two different ones makes things more interesting.
<cynful{G}> *giggle*
* BernieRoehl agrees with Achilles
<DarkAngel^{rt}> that is true Achilles{tr} ,,, I was sold in auction with a Fem Domme friend ,, charety auction that is ,, to 2 subs, a male and female,,, both had very different needs and pain limits ,,,
<BernieRoehl> I've tried multiple-bottom scenes, and I always feel like I'm going back-and-forth between them and not giving each enough attention
<earl{MS}> try having a Mistress and a Master at the same time
<DarkAngel^{rt}> on anouther point ,,, it is good to double Top when a Top friend is mentoring you on a new toy
* cynful{G} imagines it could get overwhelming
<Achilles{tr}> So, if it is so much trouble why did We all seem so keen on it?
<`abi> because Dominants like distractions
<BernieRoehl> With multiple tops, it's much easier -- especially if there's just one bottom
<Sweet1`> easier for who?? lol
* BernieRoehl smiles
<Achilles{tr}> Easier for the Dominants. It's all about Us.
* cynful{G} has seen the advantages of mentoring, good point, DarkAngel^{rt}
<BernieRoehl> Easier than if it's just me and two bottoms, Sweet1`
<DarkAngel^{rt}> lol ,,, greedy BernieRoehl
<Achilles{tr}> Actually, I can get to a much greater intensity and focus with a single sub or bottom. So, what is the attraction of multiples?
<cynful{G}> double trouble?
<MistressSarcastica> I can receive service from more than one bottom at a time. The more, the better.
<Sweet1`> is it more common in public to have more than one, or in private?
<Achilles{tr}> A lighter, less focused scene on multiple "targets"?
<`abi> complexity
* BernieRoehl smiles... greedily!
<BernieRoehl> Variety
<DarkAngel^{rt}> why climb a mountain Achilles{tr} ? ..... to do it ,, thats why ,,lol
<Achilles{tr}> Duno Sweet1`. Can't compare anyone else's private experience. I've been about even. Multiple bottoms and topping with multiple Tops. Private or public.
<`abi> which is the real reason that *most* people go to mountaineering supply shops
<Sir_StephenS> 'complexity' seems like an apt term
<Achilles{tr}> That's true DA but We who have already done it seemed keen on doing it again.
<Achilles{tr}> What was/is the appeal?
<Sweet1`> obviously those who do it get a payback of some kind
<Achilles{tr}> Exactly.
<BernieRoehl> For me, part of it is the energy -- having a third (or fourth) person adds energy to the scene, which (from my standpoint) seems to fuel everyone
<Achilles{tr}> Couldn't be how hot two women/men/whatever looked bound and writhing under Our attentions, could it?
* Kilted_One would only go to a mountaineering store to buy mountaineering "stuff'
<Achilles{tr}> Maybe it's like juggling? The more You can keep "going", the better it can seem to be?
<BernieRoehl> Well, yes -- there's that too!
<cynful{G}> :)
<Achilles{tr}> "Look how many subbies I can make scream in the same key!"
<cynful{G}> *giggle*
<BernieRoehl> As for juggling... yes, there's the skill of it, but for Me it's more about the energy. Oh, and the whole hot people bound and writhing thing too.
<earl{MS}> lol
<DarkAngel^{rt}> it is interesting to develope a rythem with multiple people
* BernieRoehl nods
<DarkAngel^{rt}> rythm too ,,,lol
<Achilles{tr}> There are those who say double flogger work is just for show... is there a possibility of the same thing with multiple bottoms or, for multiple Team Topping? Is it showing off?
<cynful{G}> or rhythm
<DarkAngel^{rt}> Mmmm maybe Achilles{tr} ,,,, but I know one event ,,, I had over-booked ,,, ended up playing with 3 bottoms, with a fellow Top ,, all at the same time
<DarkAngel^{rt}> lol
<BernieRoehl> Perhaps there's an element of that, but I've also thoroughly enjoyed playing privately with multiple top/multiple bottom scenes
<BernieRoehl> Small world! I've done the same thing, DA!
* DarkAngel^{rt} looks closer at BernieRoehl ,,,Mmm you look framiliar
<Achilles{tr}> Showing off can be to the participants too BernieRoehl. Showing them how many of them You can 'do' at once. <smiles>
<BernieRoehl> And yes -- two tops and three bottoms has many of the same issues/challenges/problems as one top and two bottoms
* BernieRoehl smiles at DA
<Achilles{tr}> But, that is just one element I'm sure... and not necessarily a part of why Everyone enjoys it.
<cynful{G}> I know there are Alpha Beta subs.....are there Alpha Beta Doms?
<Achilles{tr}> Certainly I have seen partnerships which I would describe as that cynful{G}.
* DarkAngel^{rt} is more of a Sigma Gamma Epsilon Dom
<cynful{G}> :)
<BernieRoehl> Sounds like a fraternity of Doms!
<DarkAngel^{rt}> and you are the Grand Poo Bahh BernieRoehl ,,, lol
<`abi> any Summa Cum Laude?
* BernieRoehl laughs
<Sir_StephenS> how about Animal House
<Sir_StephenS> lol
<cynful{G}> So the etiquette kinda just falls in to place?
<Achilles{tr}> There are also some scnearios where one Dom is teaching another. A mentoring situation can be described as Alpha/Beta I suppose as the Beta is following the Alpha's instructions pertaining to the use of the toys in the scene. But that is for a specific purpose.
<BernieRoehl> If the Doms know each other, there's usually pretty good communication
<Achilles{tr}> Man.. nasty typing.
<BernieRoehl> One limitation of course i that you don't want to be talking about things as you're doing them, so the communication tends to be non-verbal
<`abi> I think that there is usually clearly one person in control of the scene
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I dissagree `abi ,,,
* `abi chuckles...my, my .. no one has ever disagreed with me before ;)
<Achilles{tr}> cynful{G}.. I suspect that is how it would work, yup. If I were to offer Someone a double scene with abi it would be with an understanding that I would be in charge of the situation. I would not make such an offer if I didi not feel that was clearly understood.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> depends upon those involved in playing ,, but personally I have never tried to Top other Tops
<cynful{G}> OIC
<`abi> is it topping a top to be in control of the scene?
<BernieRoehl> I think there are (at least) two scenarios -- one in which a Dom invites another Dom in to double-top, in which case the "lead hand" is the Dom who made the invitation
<DarkAngel^{rt}> that is a different way than I was thinkinf Achilles{tr} ,, but in that circumstance ,, definetly
<Achilles{tr}> On the other hand I have yiedled to other Dom's in scenes with their partners.
<BernieRoehl> The other scenario is where two Doms end up topping someone that neither has any pre-existing relationship with
<cynful{G}> I think that Master having someone else use me as well would like to be in control
<cynful{G}> Unless as you said he was being taught something new
<Achilles{tr}> I believe that would be clearly understood cynful{G}.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> in play with my rosethorns,,, of course I would be in charge ,,,
<Achilles{tr}> In such a case, He might not be in control of how the toy was being used as far as technique but would retain veto control of what was done to you. He would be your first layer of prtection if you like.
<cynful{G}> *nod*
<BernieRoehl> Actually, I think the mentoring that was discussed earlier is a third scenario
<Achilles{tr}> Yes BernieRoehl. I have shown another Top how to use a single tail on abi but that was not a doublt topping scenario at all.
* BernieRoehl nods
<cynful{G}> I remember at our first function Master was swarmed by other Doms to discuss toys ect and asked a lot of questions about what I was in to
<Sir_StephenS> certainly the multiple top thing is prevalent in (some) fantasy...societies of Doms, sharing of slaves, etc etc
<cynful{G}> Is that Dom bonding or curiosity?
<Sweet1`> it definitely plays on the mindset of the sub when they know they can be used by others
<`abi> Doms bond?
<BernieRoehl> It can also serve to reinforce the idea of the submissive as property
<DarkAngel^{rt}> Mmmm property
<Sir_StephenS> agreed Bernie...why not, abi? I agree it never happens, though
<earl{MS}> to be given to another is a unique experience
<DarkAngel^{rt}> never ?
<BernieRoehl> How would you describe it, earl?
<Sweet1`> it doesn't happen?
<`abi> I don't know Sir_StephenS ...I'm asking, not answering
<Sir_StephenS> have you bonded with a Dom, DA?
* Kilted_One has been Krazy glued to DA before
<DarkAngel^{rt}> in different ways Sir_StephenS ,, certainly
<DarkAngel^{rt}> lol
<Sir_StephenS> LOL KO
<cynful{G}> Well friendships are formed....mutual respect...I guess is what I was trying to express
<`abi> I wasn't even sure you bonded with yourself DA ;)
<Kilted_One> ohh wait we were just Krazy together
<Sweet1`> isn't there bonding in a friendship?
<Achilles{tr}> I have relationships with other Dom's which I would call bonding. Developing respect and understandings of them and they of Me beyond casual friendships.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> yes `abi ,,, mostly with my left hand ,,, when I was younger
<earl{MS}> BernieRoehl, find it difficult to explain
<`abi> lol
<Kilted_One> I would agree with that Achilles
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I recal a number of Krazy times Kilted_One
* cynful{G} sighs and smiles
<DarkAngel^{rt}> with many more to come
<Sir_StephenS> yah! The Society of Doms has begun
<BernieRoehl> Right here in #bdsm-kw
<DarkAngel^{rt}> hey wait ,,,, I want to move to the sub - berbs ,,,LOL
<DarkAngel^{rt}> better hunting
<cynful{G}> :)
<Achilles{tr}> On the other hand... I'm not sure the concept of bonding with other Dom's and Multiple Doming are necessarily connected.
<cynful{G}> Well what about Dom workshops?
<BernieRoehl> That's true -- the two can be quite separate
<cynful{G}> OIC
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I have only been to one truely Dom workshop
<DarkAngel^{rt}> the rest are open to all
<Sir_StephenS> what would happen in a Dom workshop as opposed to the regular workshops
<Achilles{tr}> How did One prove Dominance?
<cynful{G}> If I may ask, What did you get out of it? DarkAngel^
<DarkAngel^{rt}> would there be anything special to learn to double Top or double bottom better ?
<`abi> notes from submissives?
<Sir_StephenS> sounds like Tool Time
<DarkAngel^{rt}> lol
<cynful{G}> :)
<DarkAngel^{rt}> points for living life cynful{G}
<yummy> don't stand between the sub and the other Dom with the bullwhip?
<Achilles{tr}> "I hereby swear that the bearer of this note has Topped me on multiple occasions."
<`abi> which isn't the same thing as multiple topping
<cynful{G}> *giggle*
* Achilles{tr} is pretty sure He coudl fake abi's signature on such a note.
<Achilles{tr}> DA, I'd say the most important thing is to understand that two different people will have those different needs and wants and limits... just because another bottom has asked to join a scene does not mean You can use the same scene for both.
* Kilted_One this Dom has a large workshop
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I agree Achilles{tr} ,,, I dont think 2 people play the same ,,,, as well no 2 bottoms want to be played with the same
<Achilles{tr}> You ave an aweseome workshop My Friend. I have workshop envy SO bad.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> lol ,, a damn nice one Kilted_One
<`abi> so is it two simultaneous scenes? ... or is it some kind of hybrid thing?
* BernieRoehl nods in agreement
<Kilted_One> ohh your only saying that Achilles{tr}
<Achilles{tr}> It coudl be either abi. As I say... is it to be a single scene which meets both their limits and is kind of a lowest common denominator job or will it be two scenes running at the same time with different toys, levels and intents? One psych scene and one physical perhaps?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> does anyone have an aversion to multiple play ?
* BernieRoehl likes the idea of different scenes for different purposes
<Achilles{tr}> Every scene has a purpose. Multiple scenes may have a single purpose or a different one for each participant.
<cynful{G}> as long as I am the hot one.......nooooooooo
<ModBot> There are only about five minutes left in the formal part of tonight's discussion. Does anyone have any last-minute thoughts on the subject?
<cynful{G}> *giggle*
<Achilles{tr}> Yes, multiple participants can also bring the ugly head of jealousy and lack of self confidence into play.
<earl{MS}> does anyone have a craving for multiple play? (besides this one)
<DarkAngel^{rt}> true Achilles{tr},,, if playing with groups ,, a couple have to have discussed things before hand
<BernieRoehl> I certainly enjoy multiple play
* cynful{G} has thought about it but when Master has been approached about it....I feel very nervous,Personally I would have to get to know the other Dom
<Achilles{tr}> I've enjoyed it when I have ahd the opportunity but have not done so to any serious level in quite a logn time. I've been rather focused.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I preffer single play, but have done multiple at times
<`abi> and then there is that whole yelling in my ear thing
* `zee looks to abi and smiles
<Achilles{tr}> ?
* `abi winks at zee
<`abi> distance between screamers
<cynful{G}> :)
<`zee> multiple play, for me, can be so confusing trying to find some kind of rythmn in it all..lol
<Achilles{tr}> It is likely something worth trying but only when the time is right and it may prove to not be great for everyone.
<`abi> lol...where were you when I needed someone to explain 'distracting' zee
<DarkAngel^{rt}> multiple play can be fun ,,,, but single play can be awsome
<ModBot> Well, that's it for the formal part of the discussion. The discussion log is now closed. It should be processed and uploaded to the www.ehbc.ca website soon. Please feel free to continue chatting informallly. Have a good night, everyone!
<ModBot> Thank you to everyone who participated in the discussion.