May 13 2001 EhBC Online Discussion
<BernieRoehl> I've set an automatic channel message that reads as follows...
<BernieRoehl> Welcome to our regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to say something, but remain anonymous, you should change your nick. We recommend using twisted.ma.us.dal.net as your server, to minimize lag. Tonight's discussion topic is "Emotions and Submission". The moderator tonight is victoria_angel{Flint}. Enjoy the discussion!
<Omy> Hello Bernie
<dbcertw> you're welcome all
<BraveHeart2{b}> hi all
<cushie> omg, my mom just brought in ice cream, sorry cushie over and out
<victoria_angel{Flint}> well, everyone, quite a full house, so lets begin
* cushie runs for the hills
<`melody> greetings CuriouserAndcuriouser
<victoria_angel{Flint}> one evening, a few subs were discussing the impact of 'emotions' on playing
* DarkAngel^{rt} Welcome to our regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to say something, but remain anonymous, you should change your nick. We recommend using hebron.in.us.dal.net as your server, to minimize lag.
* Peaches`` yawns and waves bye
<latinoboy> what type of impact?
<victoria_angel{Flint}> whether or not it changes the 'play'
<Omy> Well Bernie and DarkAngel^{rt}, you two should get your stories straight
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I have recently had that discusion with my slave
<victoria_angel{Flint}> we have some very sensitive & compassionate Dom/mes in the group who find it difficult to deal with very emotional subs
* BernieRoehl smiles
<victoria_angel{Flint}> because they too have emotions
<subbmissive_beauty> i would say yes it changes the whole dynamic of the play, makes it more intimate
<DarkAngel^{rt}> as far as emotional ties and submission ,,, we kinda stumbled into the emotional part ,, had just planned on playing ,, since we were both single
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I agree subbmissive_beauty
* #bdsm-kw is being logged
* #bdsm-kw is being logged
<DarkAngel^{rt}> well ,, I agree , for myself ,, some might preffer to not have the emotions getting in the way
<latinoboy> why is it difficult? isn't this a "different kind of loving"?
<autumn`breeze{JFC}> it can be depending on the situation
<subbmissive_beauty> isn't always difficult tho just more intense
<Opal``> in what way do emotions get in the way? of what?
<victoria_angel{Flint}> here is a for instance....
<victoria_angel{Flint}> one sub stated that 'she' would become teary when her collar was put on
<victoria_angel{Flint}> not tears of sadness, but happiness
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I dont know Opal`` ,,, they dont for me ,, I need connection to play ,,, just haddent intended this pressent one to happen so fast and so strong
<victoria_angel{Flint}> her Master couldn't accept the tears for this part of their play
<Opal``> no kidding
<latinoboy> hmmmm
<Omy> We always find what we are looking for DarkAngel^{rt}...when we stop looking
<Opal``> that is alot of pressure
<victoria_angel{Flint}> DA, maybe your mastering has made your sub fall in 'love'
<DarkAngel^{rt}> no idea ,, but certainly happy
<latinoboy> now is this "impact" true for male subs too?
<victoria_angel{Flint}> good question latinoboy, any other male subs wish to comment?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> what do you feel about it latinoboy ?
<latinoboy> do Domme's have the same "difficulty"?
<`melody> when your truelly letting someone in exposeing your deepest thought fears desires.. it just cannot be helped but be emotional tyes
<subbmissive_beauty> agrees with melody
* ^jen^^ *hugs* rhiannon{KO}
* rhiannon{KO} waves hello,
<rhiannon{KO}> hugggers right back at ya sis..;)
<DarkAngel^{rt}> any Dommes wish to reply to that one from latinoboy ?
<latinoboy> i'm very new...i've been reading lot's...and attended one Lady A's event...so i don't pretend to know what i'm talking about....but from what i have gathered so far i was under the impression that this type of "play" should be coming from a deeper emotional bond???
<victoria_angel{Flint}> ok, melody, do those fears make you emotional or do your emotions cause the fear?
<Omy> Sounds like a catch 22 victoria_angel{Flint}
<victoria_angel{Flint}> yes, Omy could be
<Opal``> it can't be that deep if you are playing with someone you just met
<latinoboy> i don't think i would play with someone i just met though
<subbmissive_beauty> but then isn't that bottoming as appossed to submitting? >Opal
<`melody> fears are part of who i am my identity.. my peronal make up.. when you walk the path with a sub.. you bring every event in thier life along with you... its only emtional when those fears are teased to the surface
<`melody> when a sense of control ver those fears is lost
* ^jen^^ sorry, but may i please ask the topic tonight?
<victoria_angel{Flint}> jen - submissives & emotions
<subbmissive_beauty> i find bottoming easy to do but to submit there has to be some sort of bond there to begin withhhhhhhhh
<{autumn}U> i agree
<victoria_angel{Flint}> although, this really could apply to our Dom/mes as well
<^jen^^> ahhh, *lol*, should keep quiet now then :-)
<victoria_angel{Flint}> very true submissive_beauty
* ^jen^^ is a bag of emotions
<victoria_angel{Flint}> lol jen
* autumn`breeze{JFC} shows her emotions since she has found submission
<Omy> Most women are a bag of emotions no?
<victoria_angel{Flint}> how do our Dom/mes feel about subs which show their emotions
<rhiannon{KO}> no Omy they are not....
<rhiannon{KO}> some men could be just as big of a bag as some...;)
<dbcertw> I agree with beauty. there is a difference between Topping and Dom-ing also
<victoria_angel{Flint}> Omy, i agree with rhi, some aren't
<BraveHeart2{b}> there is nothing wrong with showing your emotions
<DarkAngel^{rt}> only when someone sais that Omy
<Omy> lol DarkAngel^{rt}
* `melody giggles
<Omy> I never said there was BraveHeart2{b}
<^jen^^> ok, i am coming in late so excuse me if asking what has already been covered, but how does one keep ones emotions separate from play and reach the level i need to reach
<Dragonchaser{fs}> It is the sharing of emotions the allow me to bond and push the submissive to a higher level..
<victoria_angel{Flint}> good question jen, it has not been asked
* ^jen^^ has never played casual because of emotions
<subbmissive_beauty> lately i have had a bit of a problem dealing with emotions the were brought up through submission
<Omy> I don't disagree rhiannon{KO}. Women are emotionally driveb...part of their makeup
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I feel emotions alot ,, but when I play with my slave ,, I find my concentration heightened ,, and emotions actually recede ,,, but I still need that conection to play
<BraveHeart2{b}> but in a true Dom/sub relationship there are going to be a lot of emotions and most will be heightend by the play!!
<rhiannon{KO}> But did You not say...Most women are a bag of emotions no?
<`melody> I am as emtional as I trust the persona I am with... starting out guarded.. than slowly opening myself
<Omy> I was using the words stated rhiannon{KO}
<Dragonchaser{fs}> you have to know the signs of the emotions .. they are as important as red and green.. for sometimes the are the redlight
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I am that way BraveHeart2{b} ,,, but I wouldnt define anything as a true this or that ,, each couple makes it what they wish , what they want and give of each relationship
<rhiannon{KO}> cthe words stated Omy were....... ^jen^^ is a bag of emotions
<BraveHeart2{b}> of course not that is what makes humans unique
<^jen^^> i have learned to build walls, and i can't find the good in that
<subbmissive_beauty> but how does a sub deal with emotions once they have been tapped into? ones that she/he may have had burried a long time?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> interesting point ^jen^^ ,,, build walls ,, or be carefull who we let in
<rhiannon{KO}> walls are not good, you do have to let go, and express yourself, just as a Master, must let go and express Himself while seaning..
<Omy> There is none Jen is they can't be brought down
<Omy> none=no good
<BraveHeart2{b}> you have to be one with your emotions
<dbcertw> I think submitting is in fact an emotional act. I can't see someone submitting without it being emotional to some degree
<^jen^^> *smiles*, yes, careful of who we let in and what we let out :-)
<yummier> I can quite enjoy playing casually, if I am playing with someone I know and who I have seen play
<yummier> its about sensation then, not about love or emotion, but is still fun
<victoria_angel{Flint}> subbmissive - do those feelings stop you from playing or enjoying play?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> nicely put yummier
<^jen^^> Omy, emotions are not a female trait only, the lack or unwilingness to show them is a very Dom trait :-)
<BraveHeart2{b}> are we discussing emotions or sensations?
<subbmissive_beauty> agrees with yummier and no they don't stop me
<BraveHeart2{b}> they are two totally different things
<^jen^^> casual play is fun, but does not reach the core
<^jen^^> if i ollow myself to be just an ass on a cross what am i??
<DarkAngel^{rt}> so to reach the core ,,,,, you have to let the emotions out ???
* ^jen^^ answers her own question,, just an ass on a cross
<rhiannon{KO}> here is a question......when a Master/Dom shows emotions, does the sub/slave think less of Him Omy??
<`melody> I cannot imagine someone knowingly sceneing /playing with someone who lacks emtions... its the sensitivity that makes the conectios strong
<^jen^^> emotions are what separate a wonderful scene from just kink
<yummier> nope, but my alternative to casual play is sitting on the sidelines until a Dom comes along, and frankly I have no interest in watching from the sidelines for my prince to rescue me
<rhiannon{KO}> exactly jen...;)
<Omy> I think as a general statement jen women are emotional then men...and you'd have to ask melody if she thinks there is a lack on may part to show them.
<victoria_angel{Flint}> good jen
<rhiannon{KO}> no Omy were are asking You...
<BraveHeart2{b}> ye they are jen
<Dragonchaser{fs}> is it not the Dom/e's responsibility to reconize the stirred up emotions and help guide the submissive thru them
<Omy> rhiannon{KO}: I would think not...but that depends on the sub
<BraveHeart2{b}> i would agree there Dragonchaser
<rhiannon{KO}> i agree Dragonchaser{fs}...;)
<^jen^^> no i don't believe for a minute men are less emotional then women, that is so sterotypical
<{autumn}U> i dissagree with you Dragonchaser...sometimes thats when i need guidance the most
<DarkAngel^{rt}> the connection comes from the "other" feeling ones emotions
<DarkAngel^{rt}> not others as an audiance
<`melody> this topic alone appears to have raised a great deal of emtion
<Omy> I don't think so rhiannon{KO}...but my perception may be different then mels
<^jen^^> disagree Dragonchaser{fs} emotions are not a toy like a flogger, they are the core of D/s
<Omy> Perhaps jen...but the world is filled of stereotypes we are selves do that
<Dragonchaser{fs}> isnt that what i said ??
<victoria_angel{Flint}> very true melody
<BraveHeart2{b}> I thought so yes
<Omy> No jen...power exchange is the core of D/s
<DarkAngel^{rt}> actually I agree with Dragonchaser{fs} .. if emotions well up ,, it IS My duty,, my joy in helping my rt thru the rough spots
<Omy> agreed DarkAngel^{rt}
<^jen^^> and what is power exchange if not an exchange of emotions and commitment Omy
<{autumn}U> hmm i thought thats what i just said....i musta missed something.....
<rhiannon{KO}> very true jen...
<Omy> Iy is exactly waht it says jen..and exchange of power
<`melody> becuse a Dom is hard consistant and does not budge after a line is drawn .. does not make them without emtions or sensitivity..
<^jen^^> we are only sterotypes if we choose to be
<rhiannon{KO}> its not just physical strength, that is exchanged.
<dbcertw> I agree with ^jen^^
<^jen^^> *lol*, cop out Omy, what is Your definition of TPE
<`melody> often times these are the most emtional Doms.. knowing how quickly easily control can slip
<Omy> There is no such thing jen..
<DarkAngel^{rt}> TPE is a whole different topic ,,,
<rhiannon{KO}> no such thing as TPE?
<Dragonchaser{fs}> If I have no bond with the submissive then I have no emotion or care as to what happens then I am nothing more than an abuser of women
<Omy> I don't believe so rhiannon{KO}
<victoria_angel{Flint}> very good DC
<rhiannon{KO}> Omy, are You a Dom or a Master?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> true Dragonchaser{fs} ,,, or in other words ,, only satisfying their own needs
<Omy> What's your definition of the difference rhiannon{KO}?
<rhiannon{KO}> that is what i am asking You,,,do You consider yourself a Dom or a Master..
<^jen^^> when a slave enters into a 7x24 M/s relationship, TPE exists
* DarkAngel^{rt} wonders if emotions might be tempered ,, and back onto the topic
<^jen^^> yes DA, sorry *blushes
* ^jen^^ is a little fiesty tonight
<Dragonchaser{fs}> tpe???
<BraveHeart2{b}> so we see!!!
<rhiannon{KO}> i apologize too DA Sir..;) BUT wow, what a topic...
<Omy> That is not tonight topic rhiannon{KO}
<firestarDC> tpe= total power exchange
<Dragonchaser{fs}> ty
<`Euphoria> could i have a recap of the topic please?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> we are all emotional animals ,,, is there a problem if a submissive or slave lets her/his emotions out ?
<rhiannon{KO}> well then Omy one day i would love to discuss it with you.
<DarkAngel^{rt}> Tonight's discussion topic is "Emotions and Submission". The moderator tonight is victoria_angel{Flint}.
<rhiannon{KO}> privatly..
<^ravishing^> I can get very emotional in a scene when I am with a Dom that I care very much about
<BraveHeart2{b}> no none at all
<DarkAngel^{rt}> perhaps you could vollunteer that in a few weeks as moderator rhiannon{KO} ?
<Omy> Agreed rhiannon{KO} :)
<`Euphoria> why would there be a problem with a submissive who expresses emotion DarkAngel^{rt}?
<`Euphoria> why would there be a problem with anyone who is emotional?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> it was raised by victoria_angel{Flint} as the basis for the discusion `Euphoria
<^jen^^> to me, my emotions are the core of the slave/submissive in me, if i took out the emotion, i am just and ass
<`Euphoria> i know...so i'm turning the question around
<^jen^^> the emotions is what allows for no limits
<`Euphoria> jen, what would you be as a plain human being w/o emotion?
<`Euphoria> i dont understand why emotions have this negative connotation as the premise for the discussion
<dbcertw> personally I wouldn't want a sub to submit if it wasn't an emotional choice
<victoria_angel{Flint}> ok, lets move on a bit = how do our Dom/mes feel when something being done routinely w/o reactions, suddenly has a new reaction (ie - a change in emotional response)?
<BraveHeart2{b}> firstly I would say intrigued
<DarkAngel^{rt}> my rt shows her emotions only in privacy ,, she is a very shy animal , but,,, she also loves to scene publicly ,,, an interesting thing
<^jen^^> a robot
<BraveHeart2{b}> then curious
* `Euphoria agreed jen
<victoria_angel{Flint}> two sides to your sub then, eh DA?
<Dragonchaser{fs}> personally I think working thru the emotions with the submissive is the key that unlocks the fears and allows the submissive to open up and trust the
<BraveHeart2{b}> and finally more motivated to see what else will happen
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I play in large part for reaction ,, that is the play for me ... I would agree ,, with BraveHeart2{b} ,,, interested ,, and then curious
<Dragonchaser{fs}> Dom/e
<rhiannon{KO}> i would like to know what the Dom gets out of it if there is NO emotions???
<DarkAngel^{rt}> many more than two victoria_angel{Flint} ,,,, as any woman
* ^jen^^ is known for my reactions during play
<Opal``> lol... i'll say
* rhiannon{KO} can confirm that...;)
<DarkAngel^{rt}> no idea ,, and not interested rhiannon{KO}
<BraveHeart2{b}> but jen reactions and emotions are not necessarilly the same are they?
<rhiannon{KO}> excatly..
* DarkAngel^{rt} winks at the growling monkey
<^jen^^> yes they are
<^jen^^> if i feel nothing, how can i react
<Dragonchaser{fs}> with out the emotions I am nothing .. for without the total trust ...I as Dom cannot exist..
<^jen^^> or how i feel, tempers how i react to be more precise
* `Euphoria wonders who these people are that have no emotions
<subbmissive_beauty> it then becomes about sensation >jen not emotion
<dbcertw> I would feel like I am topping and not Dom-ing with out the emotions
<subbmissive_beauty> it is how i react not that i react
<BraveHeart2{b}> so let me get this straight you are say that reactions and emotions are totally inttertwined?
<^jen^^> it is no differnt than pain for punishment vs pain for pleasure
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I think the point origionally made might be more concerned with casual play ,, and the dangers of emotion then ,,, is that correct victoria_angel{Flint} ?
<^jen^^> it is the emotions that make it different
<Dragonchaser{fs}> yes they have to be BraveHeart
<^jen^^> the pain is the same, but how our emotions translate it is what makes the difference
<victoria_angel{Flint}> actually, i'm not sure at this point
<victoria_angel{Flint}> lol
<`Euphoria> :) victoria_angel{Flint}
<victoria_angel{Flint}> it has been most interesting to see everyones reactions
<subbmissive_beauty> agreed emotion does change things
<dbcertw> I think so ^jen^^
<rhiannon{KO}> they sure do...;)
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I can only see ,, perhaps ,, since I do not play casually (not never ,, just very rare)
<victoria_angel{Flint}> i personally do not play casually, so i cannot comment
<DarkAngel^{rt}> where for casual ,, emotions might be better tempered and more left out
<^jen^^> yes to me they are, my reactions is 100 percent dependant on my emotions
* rhiannon{KO} feels that emotions are what drives us...without them, we are hallow, empty, doormats...
<`melody> has played casually twice .. both times was beaten severely.. no emtional tyes..
<`Euphoria> i disagree DarkAngel^{rt}, i think emotions in casual play are just as important, the thing is, to be veryclear whay your emotions are
<`Euphoria> agreed rhiannon{KO}
<`melody> you become an object a thing and can devalue your own worth in doing so..
<DarkAngel^{rt}> there are many people in our community who do play casually ,, more power to them ,, but I do need the emotional connection
<rhiannon{KO}> by playing casualy melody?
<`Euphoria> for instance, emotional relief from guilt, or emotional relief from frustration are probably very healthy within casual play...falling in love maybe not so
<`melody> without emtional bonds rhiannon{KO}
<^jen^^> *smiles*,mmm, the casual play in the community, a topic You don't want to get me started on *smiles sweetly*
<`melody> you need something..
<`melody> to bind them
<DarkAngel^{rt}> do you casual play `Euphoria ? .. how do emotions not get in the way ?
<`Euphoria> i think in casual play the difference is feeling your own emotions, and getting emotionally attached to someone who doesnt want attachment
<DarkAngel^{rt}> ahh ok,, then the emotional part about the attachment might only be the dangerous part
<^jen^^> *smiles* @ `Euphoria , well that takes in about 99% of our community
<`Euphoria> DarkAngel^{rt}, i just explained, keeping yourself from getting emotionally attached in casual play is a good choice to make, BUT that doesnt mean you stop being a person with emotions...play whether its casual or not, i would think, sparks different emotions...like the example i gave of relief
<rhiannon{KO}> true Euohoria..
<DarkAngel^{rt}> granted `Euphoria ,, I can see that
<rhiannon{KO}> woops `Euphoria even...*smiles*
<`Euphoria> i think, n bdsm, like all areas of life, you embrace your emotions but you dont let them rule you
<subbmissive_beauty> good point Euphoria and in that hcase emotion can be a bad thing when one becomes more emotionally attached thr casual play it isn't a good thing
<DarkAngel^{rt}> but does relief felt from the sensation play (casual) and the stress relief involved HAVE to involve emotional attachment to the other player ?
<`Euphoria> i think in the other extreme, TPE for example, there is also the risk of letting your emotions rule you that can be dangerous
<`Euphoria> of course not DarkAngel^{rt}
<subbmissive_beauty> having said that emotion can also heighten or depen a bond that arleady exist
<`Euphoria> absolutely subbmissive_beauty
<^jen^^> they are sides to casual play that ppl don't consider, one, the safety of using the same toys on multiple partners, the fact that when after play crash happens a few days later, the submissiv has no support, but the casual play partenr has no commitment
<`melody> I belive you have to be able to laugh with the persona be able to just enjoy thier company without expectations.. before playing... .. that way no feelings of obligation are involved
<DarkAngel^{rt}> personally ,, I enjoy the heavy emotional attachment ,, and the freedom it gives me in playing with one I love
* rhiannon{KO} agrees with jen..
* `Euphoria personally enjoys heavy emotional attachement too, but it doesnt rule my life
<`Euphoria> i hope LOL
<subbmissive_beauty> agrees with jen that's when the problems start
<Dragonchaser{fs}> I dont think I would be able to not get some type of bond in a casual encounter for the person is still giving over trust to you to care for their body and emotional welfare.. to not make it unpleasurable or a bad memory]
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I feel less of an attachment those few times I have casualled ,, or even at the beginnings of a relationship ,, the play, the attachment,, the joy escalates the deeper the commitment to one anouther
<`Euphoria> Dragonchaser{fs}, isnt that just "care" for a fellow human being?
<Dragonchaser{fs}> nods at melodys statment
<kneels> cannot comprehend "casual" play in where the partner is not at least a trusted friend
<`Euphoria> melody, :) i think you need to laugh with everyone, partner or enemy...sense of humour is integral to life, period
<DarkAngel^{rt}> that might also be the responsibility felt by the temporary submision during play
<DarkAngel^{rt}> same here kneels
<victoria_angel{Flint}> me too kneels
<rhiannon{KO}> i once saw a submissive who was put into sub space at a play party, she went so very deep, it was beautiful to watch, untill i noticed, that none of the Dom's were the one that brought her, AND once the night was over, she got into her own car to drive hom, (with assistance of a couple of Dom's to get her into that car)
<^jen^^> can't play with friends
<`melody> tis a good way of seeing life `Euphoria .. smiles..
<^jen^^> nods @ rhiannon{KO}, yep, the play partner assumes no responsiblity in casual play
<celtic`mist> exactly
<DarkAngel^{rt}> well overall ,, I think most seem to agree witht the good parts of emotions during play ,, as apposed to the orrigional look at how emotions might be dangerous
<rhiannon{KO}> but she drove herself home..
<celtic`mist> sometimes they can crash hours later, and where is the partner then
<Opal``> so what is the chance that the next day she will feel used?
<Dragonchaser{fs}> would not personally think so Euphoria... you have a responsibility as Dom/e even in a casual encounter.. and even a small bonding thru trust is a big step for the submissive
<^jen^^> so it is up to the submissive to assume responsiblity for themselves
<yummier> the risk you take if you want to play
* `Euphoria has a probl;em with trusting someone one doesnt know...how do you do that?
<yummier> then again most I have played casually haven't taken their responsibility causually, before after, or during the scene
<^jen^^> You can't `Euphoria
<rhiannon{KO}> but if we do that jen, are we submissives or are we just bottoms for the night?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I dissagree ^jen^^ ... a casual partner HAS to assume responsibility ,, else why give the temp submission ?
<victoria_angel{Flint}> err, DA, i do not believe it was ever expressed that emotions were negative
<^jen^^> the responsibilty i take for myself is i don't play
<kneels> since we are on emotions and laughing..i need to know what others think...i am emotonal normally...it is nothing new to me to feel anger/cry whatever while sceneing....but lately i am experiencing something new in that i laugh hysterically ..what's with that? ...it is wonderfully releasing...i think i am just having so damn much fun that i laugh instead of cry maybe
<`Euphoria> bottoms for the night
<Dragonchaser{fs}> I agree for the Most part Euphoria
<DarkAngel^{rt}> not negative victoria_angel{Flint} ,,, the preamble about the 2 submissives talking ,,
<^jen^^> yes DA i agree but how many casual play partners assume responsibilty??? that is the problem
<kneels> but i dont mean giggle...i mean take me off to the luny bin laugh
* rhiannon{KO} giggles at kneels, thats cuz you are just soo damn cute and funny..;)))
<victoria_angel{Flint}> and as kneels just expressed, rather than crying....but laughing
* `Euphoria hugs kneels
<kneels> lol
<kneels> hug `Euphoria right back
<rhiannon{KO}> laughter is just as strong as an emotion as what can crying be..
<`Euphoria> casual assuming responsibility...hmmm
<^jen^^> *smiles* at kneels, i cry when happy, when sad, when mad, etc.... giggling is just another release
<DarkAngel^{rt}> I have seen one submissive ,, who crys every time she hits sub space ,, big wracking sobs ,,, dep emotion ,, and that could be scary to some Dom's
<victoria_angel{Flint}> yes, DA, it began with the 'tears' issue, but as kneels stated, how would a Dom/me feel if the emotion was 'laughter'
<Dragonchaser{fs}> as a Dom it is my responsiblity to care for the submissive that has been entrusted to me weather casual or long term ..and give support even after the play if it is needed..
<^jen^^> than i bow to You Dragonchaser{fs}, i have not seen much of that
<kneels> well i am not "sad" when i cry after a scene either...unless i have been punished for something...so i think that vrying is just a realease as well....but this is new..and funny to me..in a good way
<`Euphoria> hmm Dragonchaser{fs}, if i have a one night stand as a vanilla or a one night scene at a play party, i'm thinking the responsibility extends as far as the time we're together
* ^jen^^ swears at the most unopportune moments
<DarkAngel^{rt}> no idea victoria_angel{Flint} ,,, I would be ok with it ,, if I played regularly with someone ,,,, in fact,, I would not want to bring someone to subspace I wasnt framiliar with in playing
<`Euphoria> lol jen i swear a lot too
<`Euphoria> a LOT
<victoria_angel{Flint}> well DA, it happened to me, i was so absorbed, and not being tickled....and i cracked up laughing.....man did it slow things down a bit
<kneels> well victoria_angel{Flint}....at first mine didnt know how to react...i got the "you think this is funny?!??!?" but the harder he hit the harder i laughed..i just couldnt stop.but then he just started laughing as well
<^jen^^> *smiles*, but how many slaves have stood at a cross ,turned to their Master and said F..Y... Master at the fop of their lungs *lol*
<rhiannon{KO}> sub space triggers are so different for each submissive...what triggers one may not trigger another.
<Dragonchaser{fs}> and if in that vinalla encounter a child is concieved the responsibility ended that night??
<Opal``> and you don't feel empty afterwards?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> lol ,,, the first time would be a learning experience for both victoria_angel{Flint}
<victoria_angel{Flint}> mine neither kneels, and man did i get a smack to stop laughing...
<kneels> and could you stop victoria_angel{Flint}?
<`Euphoria> Dragonchaser{fs}, LOL then the dom has a responsibility to the child for 18 yrs i am thinking
<victoria_angel{Flint}> nope, butt was really warmed then...lol
<kneels> i dont mean the giggles...i mean laugh like i can stand up..cant stop
<`Euphoria> but so does the femsub who conceived
<kneels> hysterical laughter
<DarkAngel^{rt}> lol ^jen^^ ,,, I like the statement " fucking asshole that hurt , is not a safeword"
<subbmissive_beauty> been there with the hysterics
<Dragonchaser{fs}> as well as to the submissive if the encounter leaves problems for the submissive to deal with
<victoria_angel{Flint}> with the cramping stomach type, right kneels....
<`melody> lolol DA
<^jen^^> *lol* @ DA
<subbmissive_beauty> it's not DA?? HMM
<^jen^^> have to add the Sir or Master to the end but....
<latinoboy> so? where does this leave us? are emotional out bursts okay?
<DarkAngel^{rt}> well looks like we hit the 10pm point
<`melody> point is you say that thannnn safe word
<subbmissive_beauty> giggles
<kneels> oh i go through the "F Y" stage...usually always when i fight the pain..i get angry usually before i except it
<^jen^^> all of the above, laughing, crying, swearing are all signs of the emotions coming out in a scene
<`Euphoria> one would hope Dragonchaser{fs}, that they were adult enough to take the responsibility seriously enough to keep that from happening, ie be rational and logical before acting solely out of emotion
<victoria_angel{Flint}> depends on the Dom/me latinoboy
<Opal``> that is a good question latinoboy...
<kneels> latinoboy...i think that is up to the individual...i think emotional outbursts are human and releasing
<DarkAngel^{rt}> good discusion ,, lots of emotion
<DarkAngel^{rt}> thank you victoria_angel{Flint}
<^jen^^> yes latinoboy i think the are central to the relationship and scence
<Dragonchaser{fs}> nods was just using that as an example .. but the point is relevent
<rhiannon{KO}> thank you victoria_angel{Flint}...;) sorry if i was a bit of a bother..
<Opal``> maybe it should be one of the interview questions... can you handle emotional outbursts... or do they freak you out?
<latinoboy> thanks A/all for your ideas, and thoughts....it's helped me with this BDSM thing
<victoria_angel{Flint}> your welcome DA, glad to see everyone participate
<DarkAngel^{rt}> you dont look like my brother rhiannon{KO}
<victoria_angel{Flint}> np, rhi - *S*
* DarkAngel^{rt} plays with his BDSM thing
<kneels> i think the Dom has to be excepting of the stages/emotions...if i was with someone that would not allow my anger stage for example...i wouldnt get to my happy place :(..screw that idea..lol
<latinoboy> lol
<victoria_angel{Flint}> good thought Opal
<DarkAngel^{rt}> and bringing someone close thru that stage would be a fun thing I think kneels
* `Euphoria is still pondering how emotions came to have such a negative connotation to begin with
<DarkAngel^{rt}> aye ,, there be the rub ,,,,, and the spank, the cropping, the flogging *evil chuckle*
<`Euphoria> why WOULDNT a dom or sub want to see emotion in their partner?
<Opal``> because they mean you might be weak and needy
<DarkAngel^{rt}> worked to spark our thoughts though `Euphoria ,,, so certainly had good effect
<Dragonchaser{fs}> not negitive .. just relevent to my submissives being and Our welfare
<kneels> if the two people know each other..which again brings us back to the casual play issue....they will except that it isnt disrespect meant by say the anger..it is just fighting the pain/submission...his job is to get me through it and to understand the way i work...not to take offense
<DarkAngel^{rt}> nothing like an in your face statement to spark debate
<`Euphoria> is highly emotional but would not classify herself as weak or needy
<BernieRoehl> I'm going to go offline to process and up load the log
<kneels> night DarkAngel^{rt}
<{autumn}U> nite everyone......*waves*
<BernieRoehl> Thanks, victoria_angel{Flint}, for moderating tonight!
<`melody> but you look cute in the promdress DA :(
<^jen^^> Hello A/all, neat discussion :-)