May 8 2005 EhBC Online Discussion

May 8, 2005 EhBC Online Discussion

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<ModBot> Welcome to or regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. Tonight's discussion topic is "Opening Night -- Roleplaying and BDSM". The discussion is unmoderated. Enjoy!
<krista-F> i am going to star by asking.....how prevalent is role play in BDSM...i have no real clue
<minxy> Well, Sir doesn't enjoy role play, so it's not part of our play
<krista-F> it is not something i have ever done.......and i am curious about it
<minxy> i very much enjoy role-playing,
<caiilin> think maybe a fantasy thing
<minxy> my two favourites are playing at non-consent scenes,
<vincelj> depends on the peoplee also involved
<krista-F> what about it calls to you minxy?
<fierydezires-T> i have never role played r/t only online
<krista-F> i am not saying i don't like it....i don't know anything about it so i cant say that
<minxy> and playing a little girl... but that's a different kind of scene.
<caiilin> we all have them role playing helps full fill them
<minxy> Role playing isn't easy.
<caiilin> not always but can be fun smiles
<vincelj> have done it once and it was very detailed
<krista-F> ok....would it be like learning a part in a play?
<minxy> When i'm a little girl, it's just a release for me, when my daddy is busy working i lay on the floor and colour pages and sticker things.
<minxy> Get's all the little girl-ness out of me.
<krista-F> ok....i have to ask this.....and again,,,,,,,not judging
<minxy> k
<krista-F> but for me personally.....i would find it just too much of a stretch at 53 yrs old
<krista-F> how do you get into that place?
<krista-F> when the reality is so far distanced from it
* minxy nods
<catsbrat{CM}> wb rubberdime
<nightmans> wb Sir
<caiilin> everyones diffrent and how they handle things smiles
<catsbrat{CM}> wb Titan
<minxy> Well, is it a place that you want to go to?
<Titan> thank you
<krista-F> i don't know...just the thoughts of it....makes me feel foolish.as my age
<krista-F> at my age
<krista-F> playin gramma maybe.
<krista-F> it is why i have never gone to the back to school DAL
<jewel`{F}> role playing could be being picked up at a bar
<caiilin> then if it makes you feel foolish prollbey not able to enjoy it
* minxy nods
<krista-F> ok....that makes sense
<jewel`{F}> could be being "arrested" and questioned
<krista-F> i have done an interrogation scene as a demo once
<minxy> See, for me, i have a lot of little girl that i need to get out, and it needs to be in a safe place. So, that's why i like to play that game.
<jewel`{F}> to some, just the Master/slave thing is role playing
<krista-F> then it is a nice thing for you
* minxy nods at jewel`{F} and krista-F
<caiilin> agrees
<minxy> Interrogation scenes are also really fun. What i want to do, is play a kidnapping game.
<Rorschach> Sundays ARE still busy...
<caiilin> so many things can be roleplaying and it may not be everyones cup of tea or can turn you on soo hot
<Titan> told cai gonna kidnap her soon laughs
<krista-F> i think i have some sort of mental block to be honest....
<caiilin> lol
<caiilin> its honest as long as two are playing
<minxy> Well, like i said, krista-F, i don't role play with Sir, as he's not into it
<krista-F> i have never had a partner who was....maybe i don't seem the type to them...
<krista-F> it has never come up
<Rorschach> Justice
<caiilin> nothing wrong not role playing same as ppl that do like it
<krista-F> i'm thinking maybe i just don't have an imagination
<caiilin> i have one that keeps me busy..lol
<Titan> haha
<minxy> Well.... what do you fantasize about, krista-F?
<Titan> come on krista everyone does
* minxy has kidnapping fantasies
<krista-F> fucking brad pitt
<fierydezires-T> ^5 krista-F
<minxy> LOL
<Mike3919> lol
<caiilin> lol
<krista-F> its true
<Titan> and I brads sister
<fierydezires-T> take me with you
<Omy> That's rather vanilla
<krista-F> lol
<Titan> Lmao
<jewel`{F}> not if she has brad tied to the bed
<caiilin> lol
<fierydezires-T> very true jewel`{F}
<Titan> exactly.
<krista-F> i'd have to blindfold him too LOL
<krista-F> actually i have to say......i have lived most of my fantasies....
<krista-F> i want to do it..i go do it
<minxy> Hrm.
<minxy> Harem fantasies?
<Omy> Well I have as well...but new ones keep popping up
<minxy> D'you try to be a geisha? A gang moll? Molested by a police officers nightstick?
<fierydezires-T> all i have to do is wait 5more days and i get too role play heheeh
* minxy takes a moment to think about the night stick fantasy. Mm.
<krista-F> i have never done anything like that....i have been a slut..but that is just me...period
<Titan> counts.....
<minxy> agreed!
<fierydezires-T> 5 more sleeps
<krista-F> ok....here is an example
<krista-F> never mind...i don't have the guts
<Omy> been a slut? Hmmm
<caiilin> come on tell us smiles
<Mike3919> dont be shy
<Omy> That's not a fantasy...lol That's part of who I am ;)
<Titan> you can do it
<minxy> Share!
<krista-F> its not being shy...its just not the coolest behavior
<krista-F> but as i said......if i want to do something i usually do it
<krista-F> ok...here is something i haven't done......
<Titan> like nike
<krista-F> say i had a fantasy about being gang banged....i wouldn't do a roleplay with someone about it.....i would do it
<krista-F> and no i have not......
<minxy> Well, do you want to roleplay?
<krista-F> i guess i don't quite get the whole concept
<krista-F> but without question it would be the safer avenue
<caiilin> think that is a safey thing with role playing you know you are safe
<krista-F> that part i can understand
* fierydezires-T pokes rubberdime
<krista-F> i think i could role play being Domme......as it is so far removed from who i am
<caiilin> see i know i culdnt do that one smiles
<Omy> roleplay is sorta like knowing what's going to happen and have the safeties planned. Not roleplaying would be like jumping out of a plane but not checking to see if the parachute was ok
<Titan> I be shocked cai LoL
<caiilin> lol i bet You would
<krista-F> sadly i have done that more than once in my life Omy...
<fierydezires-T> hmmmmm
<padma{Jaysker}> For me, the main advantage of roleplaying is that it allows us to play with roles and situations that we couldn't access in real life, or that would be distasteful if done for real.
<caiilin> agrees that is for me as well
<krista-F> well it does open up avenues that i would not want to go down for real
<padma{Jaysker}> That's it - for instance, I may be willing to take part in age play, but I wouldn't have any interest in actually playing with someone whose age was inappropriate for me.
<krista-F> understood....
<krista-F> and of course some fantasies could get you arrested if done in public..if that is your thing
<padma{Jaysker}> exactly.
<fierydezires-T> there are some scenes in roleplay that might bring out the past in some
<caiilin> oh yes and that comes down to to talking to your partner
<caiilin> so both understand and agree on things
<padma{Jaysker}> I think in some ways, in fact, for me at least, all of BDSM play involves roleplaying.
<Mike3919> agree
<Omy> Roleplay can involve play that you've never done before...so it is best to ensure that there has been alot of Open and Honest Communication.
<padma{Jaysker}> It's...unlikely that my beloved Jaysker could, in fact, restrain me should I decide I wasn't going to be restrained.
<padma{Jaysker}> So to some extent, any time I submit to her is roleplaying.
* minxy nods
<caiilin> maybe to some that is true but for some that is apart of them
<Omy> to me roleplaying is exploring a subject that I am interested in....not neccessarily part of my makeup
<Jaysker{padma}> unlikely. hmmmphth
<padma{Jaysker}> no argument from me, caitlin - as I said, I meant for me. In my particular situation, my beloved is...physically not a match for me. Because of that, submission involves a certain amount of...collusion on my part.
<caiilin> oh no problem smiles i can take as well as i receive smiles
<Omy> Once the mind is captured..the body will follow..regardless of the physical differences
<yummy> don't ropes, chains and locks minimize the collusion?
<padma{Jaysker}> yah, yummy, but I have to be willing to let her do that much, right?
<krista-F> i agree with you on that Omy Sir
<yummy> i'd think any submission by definition requires some willingness
* Omy nods
<yummy> its called assault when there is no willingness
<padma{Jaysker}> It's always felt like a clear giving or permission on my part; I suspect some of this is because of my survivor issues.
<`abi{A}> but does that make it roleplay?
<padma{Jaysker}> it does for me, abi - I'm playing at being someone who is unable to prevent Her taking over.
<caiilin> does submitting mean role playing
<yummy> padma{Jaysker}, my question is why do you think it is different for other couples?
<padma{Jaysker}> And I stress that's a very idiocentric version of things - strictly for me.
<padma{Jaysker}> I don't know if it is or isn't, trying not to assume either way, yummy.
<Jaysker{padma}> unable or unwilling, padma?
<yummy> i'm wondering if you think others into this are different that's all
<padma{Jaysker}> That's it, exactly, Love: unwilling in reality, playing at being unable.
<Jaysker{padma}> :) i see that as subtly different than roleplay
<padma{Jaysker}> I'm not sure. I know for some there's no need to - for me, I've got to actually take the time to think about relaxing and letting Her have control.
<caiilin> for me submissive isnt role playing. Its who i am
<padma{Jaysker}> right.
<yummy> are you talking about D/s or about S/m padma{Jaysker}?
<`abi{A}> but if you actually give her that control, then you aren't playing a role, are you padma?
<fierydezires-T> i dont feel what i am doing as role play either
<Titan> smile
<Jaysker{padma}> if we look at roles as aspects of ourselves then it is - aspects that we may not express otherwise or perhaps do
<Omy> I think it's safe to say that in the beginning we all role play...perhaps a defence mechanism...to rationalise the need which we maight be uncomfortable with
<Jaysker{padma}> padma applogizes - her machine overheated and has shut down
<fierydezires-T> the onlye time i feel as it is roleplaying its when you play dr...school girl...or whatever else
<caiilin> agrees
<fierydezires-T> but the rest is just naturall between a sub and Master
<Titan> good points
<Titan> pony tails can be appealing at times ;-)
<caiilin> smiles
<krista-F> i think that may be true...for some...but not all fierydezires-T.....
<Omy> not to mention useful
<fierydezires-T> same as being tied up or place somewhere paddle cropped or flogged its a thing that as a sub we enjoy we dont act that we like it its just very natural to us
<caiilin> natural is right its who you are, role playing is just that playing a game
<Titan> park comes to mind
<ModBot> There are only about five minutes left in the formal part of tonight's discussion. Does anyone have any last-minute thoughts on the subject?
<Mike3919> end of discussion??
<Omy> I'm wondering...if the amount of role playing that a couple does declines over time...ie..as you get more experienced your desire to roleplay drops?
<Titan> can you wait 5 mins fiery
<Titan> LoL
<fierydezires-T> yes this one can wait
* fierydezires-T smiles
<caiilin> guess that would depend on the person
<Titan> like you have a choice
<caiilin> smiles
<`abi{A}> I think that depends on how much your kink is role-play related Omy...if pony-play is your thing for example, I wouldn't expect it to decline at all
<Omy> Good point abi
<`TimberWolf> occasionally she has one
* `abi{A} looks at TW
<`abi{A}> at least I can cover mine up with hair ;)
* `TimberWolf winks at abi
* `abi{A} winks back
<`TimberWolf> a bald head is a beautiful thing!:)P
<`abi{A}> I know, I know ... more face
* Omy puts his sunglasses on
<`TimberWolf> more head!
<`TimberWolf> and how can that be bad
<`abi{A}> TW isn't really bald, he just roleplays a bald man
<Omy> lol
<Titan> lol
<`TimberWolf> and I do it damn well!
<krista-F> wow.....he's really good at it!!!
<ModBot> Well, that's it for the formal part of the discussion. The discussion log is now closed. It should be processed and uploaded to the www.ehbc.ca website soon. Please feel free to continue chatting informally. Have a good night, everyone!
<ModBot> Thank you to everyone who participated in the discussion.
* `TimberWolf bows