May 4, 2003 EhBC Online Discussion

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<ModBot> Welcome to or regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. Tonight's discussion topic is "The Journal as a Communications Tool". The discussion is unmoderated. Enjoy!
<earl{MS}> having a hard time keeping up with the pace of this discussion
<subjugate_me> considers going to write in my journal
<earl{MS}> subjugate_me, may this one ask what you put in your journal?
<subjugate_me> i put what ever needs to be let out in words
<subjugate_me> the topic could be anything
<earl{MS}> activities, feelings, desires?
<subjugate_me> tends to be my time to reflect
<Sir_StephenS> writers often express the same sentiment, subjugate_me, about needing to put things into words
<earl{MS}> private thoughts?
<subjugate_me> i tend not to be private in my thoughts while writing,,the private thoughts often stay inside.
<rose{MD}> Sometimes for my journals i like to read certain articles in bdsm sites and write what they make me feel or think
<rose{MD}> And how they may be able to help in my submission to Master
<earl{MS}> rose{MD}, does your Master read it?
<rose{MD}> Yes He does. Right now He is not online so i send them to Him via snail mail
<rose{MD}> He does not always comment on them or at least not right away but He does read them
<earl{MS}> do you use it to communicate things that would be otherwise difficult to convey?
<rose{MD}> Yes i do. Things i think, feel, activities i would maybe like to experience. What scares me How it scares me
<shadoe{S}> rose.. is your journal online?
<subjugate_me> when i think of a journal being used as a communication tool obviously gives the Dom insight but it also helps bond the submissive to Him
<rose{MD}> no i use my own e-mail to write and send to Master when He has His puter working
<rose{MD}> This is true subjugate. It helps Him to understand your moods too
<shadoe{S}> is anyone here using an online journal.. or is it more private?
<earl{MS}> rose{MD}, is there anything you would not put in your journal?
<rose{MD}> Not anymore there isn't . i know i should not keep anything from Master. But i used to till i became more confident in what i was writing
<earl{MS}> rose{MD}, have you ever used it to convey your feelings when He has hurt or upset you?
<rose{MD}> oh yes. When i was with Him last year He had me write in a notebook
<rose{MD}> One time i was quite angry at Him and i wrote about it and what i felt,
<shadoe{S}> so i'm taking it that everyone here who has a journal.. is doing a personal journal.. not an online one?
<rose{MD}> He left it till the next day after we both thought about it and then we talked
<earl{MS}> rose{MD}, thank you, your comments have been very helpful
<rose{MD}> your quite welcome earl
<shadoe{S}> hey terri
<tc_terri> Hi shadoe
<shadoe{S}> i'm trying to find out if people are doing personal journals or online ones.. so that i can join in the discussion
<tc_terri> I started an online journal
<shadoe{S}> however, i'm not having luck with that questions.. terri.. do you journal? is it personal or online.. jewel? do you?
<subjugate_me> i find it hard to write as often as i should
<_dove> online as in public?
<shadoe{S}> yes.. as in public dove
<_dove> thanks shadoe{S}
<jewel`{F}> i do both, online and a hand written one
<tc_terri> mine is online, but only one person besides me has access to it
<rose{MD}> subjugate i write every day even if it is only to say i had a lousy day
<jewel`{F}> both were at Master's suggestion
<shadoe{S}> cool terri.. so in a sense it's still personal as only one other has access
<shadoe{S}> jewel... do others have access to yours?
<tc_terri> true
<subjugate_me> writing has not made its way faithfully into my busy routine
<tc_terri> ditto I'm afraid,
<jewel`{F}> they help me to work through and deal with things, or feelings i may be needing to sort out, as well it lets Master see how i am doing, what i am dealing with both in our relationship, and everyday life
<earl{MS}> do not keep a journal, but write fiction and poems to Mistress to convey things but so far have kept to positive subjects only
<tc_terri> i'll write daily for a bit,then loose the discipline
<ravenswolf> it's hard to write faithfully - but i've found it's kinda like exercise - the more you write the more you want to
<rose{MD}> i have done it since the beginning with Master over 18 months ago It has become routine now
<shadoe{S}> rose.. if your journal were public.. do you think you would censor the information in it?
<shadoe{S}> even if you were trying to convey a message?
<jewel`{F}> oh i am sure if they looked hard enough shadoe{S} they could find mine, but it really isn't all that interesting, mostly venting about kids and raging hormones right now
<rose{MD}> if it was public for anyone to see yes i would have to censor it . There are things i wish only Master to read.
<shadoe{S}> kids and hormones are valid *s*.. it can affect a relationship
<rose{MD}> i feel for you jewel cause i think i am going through the hormone thing too
<shadoe{S}> so rose, hypothetically.. if your Master would request your journal become public.. and assuming you use it as a communication tool.. how would you then approach the communication aspect?
<jewel`{F}> oh not me rose{MD} my girls, they are 9 and 13
<rose{MD}> i would do as i am told. Write it all if it pleased Him.
* jewel`{F} is so hoping she survives puberty
<rose{MD}> ohoh sorry didn't mean to make you age there jewel lol
<jewel`{F}> no problem rose i am not far from that
<rose{MD}> *w*
<shadoe{S}> a journal, both private and public, is your own thoughts.. feelings.. can you honestly say that you put everything in there? knowing that someone else will read?
<jewel`{F}> i do
<jewel`{F}> Master requires honesty from me
<rose{MD}> Mine to jewel even if it hurts one or both of us in some way. Still helps us grow
<jewel`{F}> there are times my writing "style" will vary, and sometimes i will hold back till i have sorted through the feelings first
<shadoe{S}> i think that might be one of the benefits
<shadoe{S}> because you know someone else (ie Master) will read your words.. you really really think about the emotion behind them
<shadoe{S}> and make sure that it's a valid emotion.. much better than the knee-jerk reactions we sometimes fall into
<jewel`{F}> not so much in censoring, i am finding it is also helping me to better search my feelings, to know what they are, frustration vs anger
<jewel`{F}> that sort of thing
<shadoe{S}> my journal is online.. so i do have to censor.. sometimes because i refer to people outside of my relationship. and so i'd need their permission to go into any great detail
<jewel`{F}> i am having to find the correct wording at times to get my feelings out
<shadoe{S}> but also because Himself is a private person and doesnt want all of our personal life all over the net
<jewel`{F}> anytime i am talking about someone other than myself, Master, family, kids, i don't use names in my online journal
<shadoe{S}> me too jewel
<jewel`{F}> i do have names for people,
<jewel`{F}> even family etc
<jewel`{F}> just not ones that would be comonly known
<Sir_StephenS> has anyone considered blogging? its basically a web log of sorts, and usually includes observations, commentary of some sort; the format seems good to mantain reader interest and still be personal
<jewel`{F}> i am not that computer literate, Master is the computer geek
<shadoe{S}> my online journal is essentially the same as blogging
<subjugate_me> sound like a good format,,,seems it would provide a outline or routine instead of just letting out emotion
<Sir_StephenS> thats cool shadoe{S}
<Sir_StephenS> yes subjugate_me...they frame their experiences to make them readable, while still being keenly felt
<earl{MS}> does A/anyone think that a journal is NOT a good idea?
<_dove> There are situations where i think a journal is not a good idea, yes.
<Sir_StephenS> I think that sharing a journal can be NOT a good idea, and the sharing may be forced..also a bummer
<victoria_angel> i kept a journal years back and it was not a good experience for me, when it was read and reacted to by my Master
<_dove> If communication isn't good without a journal, the journal can make things worse
<ravenswolf> and if a journal is a form of venting or exploring emotions and mis read then it can be misconstrued
<tc_terri> I use it as a way of exploring emotions
<Sir_StephenS> the act of journalling itself I think is almost always a good thing; the reading of it by another may or not be
<tc_terri> helps me understand myself more
<victoria_angel> in my case, i put in my feelings, but the interpretation was made that i was misled or misguided and therefore, it was believed that i was not actually feeling what i expressed
<_dove> Agreed, Sir Stephen, i keep a journal for myself - it helps me vent and work things out. Having it read by another is a different story
<ravenswolf> i agree - my journal is a very personal thing - having someone else read it is not necessarily a positive experience
<Sir_StephenS> thats too bad victoria_angel; I guess the criticism was that you were not doing authentic journalling, whatever that is
<victoria_angel> no, i think i told too much of the truth and He could not accept what i wrote
<subjugate_me> In an ideal world ...just think of the closeness if one can write all and share all.
<tc_terri> very true subjugate_me
<subjugate_me> and if all was excepted
<Sir_StephenS> for sure, subjugate_me; could you imagine where you can say everything and anything to another person, without fear
<tc_terri> it isn't always easy to express emotional turmoils, It can be used as a tool for partners to understand each other
<subjugate_me> i imagine it all the time.
<ModBot> There are only about five minutes left in the formal part of tonight's discussion. Does anyone have any last-minute thoughts on the subject?
<subjugate_me> The journal as a communication tool ..the pen and paper of trust.
<tc_terri> thats a nice way of saying it
<ravenswolf> very eloquent
<_dove> nicely said
<subjugate_me> thank you very much.
<Sir_StephenS> its interesting to think of the journal as form of writing, for an audience, as a form of communication
<tc_terri> so many Dominants ask there subs to write a journal, I wonder why the subs don't as a rule, read the Dominants journal ?
<_dove> Interesting question
<tc_terri> funny, until this moment, I've never thought of a Domme keeping a journal
<Sir_StephenS> thats a very fair question, tc_terri; I see no reason in principle why a Doms journal should not be shared with their sub
<tc_terri> I wonder......................?
<_dove> i've never heard of a Dominant keeping a journal, but it's a valid thought
<Sir_StephenS> not that I would ever do it, though
<ravenswolf> why not Sir Stephen?
<Sir_StephenS> just not my cup of tea, I guess...I don't have a good reason
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