March 7, 2004 EhBC Online Discussion

<Kilted_One> anyone want to change there nicks do so now (so it doesnt show up in goggle searches)
<Kilted_One> anyone want to start us off
<LadyNichola> Two ways the chat could go...
<LadyNichola> Role Playing as re-inforcing the heirarchy
<LadyNichola> or role-playing outside the hierarchy
<LadyNichola> 1. Is Daddy, Mommy played by Dominant
<LadyNichola> 2. Is Daddy, Mommy played by the sub
<LadyNichola> Both interesting enough... just it strikes me that the "rules" don't allow much wiggle room in role play
<LadyNichola> If you're a top, you're stuck playing the authority role...
<LadyNichola> any thoughts?
<jewel`{F}> i have enjoyed watching some role playing scenes at events,
<jewel`{F}> Police officer or Prison Guard over prisoner
<Symmetre> I'd feel more comfortable with that than, say, the sub becoming Daddy
<jewel`{F}> abduction as well
<`abi> we're discussing silent film roleplaying?
<LadyNichola> so it seems
<DarkAngel^{a}> I cant say I do much role play .... I cant seem to "turn DA off"
<DarkAngel^{a}> I am me
<DarkAngel^{a}> sorry folks ,,, lol
<`abi> well, there was that great silent film scene in Talk to Her of the Incredible Shrinking Man
<Kilted_One> where would switches fit into those two options LadyNichola??
<Symmetre> I tend to agree with you, DA ... not something I have much personal experience with. Like Popeye, I yam what I yam
<LadyNichola> Admitedly, role-playing can seem a bit contrived
<DarkAngel^{a}> oh you sweet potatoe you
<`abi> but isn't the idea of roleplaying that it allows aspects of yourself to play themselves out?
<LadyNichola> But I think if one is secure about ones own identity... then it's just a bit of fun and games
<`abi> you're not being someone else so much as you are exagerrating some aspect of yourself
<Symmetre> lol
<Symmetre> don't get me wrong ... I think it could be a lot of fun in the right context
<DarkAngel^{a}> never thought about it that way `abi
<Symmetre> geez ... I could role play to be a twisted old man
<Symmetre> hmmm
<Symmetre> all I need is the rain coat!
<`abi> Jack the Ripper might have been a scarey Dude that I wouldn't have wanted to meet, but you know ... he was pretty hot
* Symmetre ponders being Britney's new manager
<`abi> and since I just saw Girl with a Pearl Earring, I'm having 16th century Dutch Painter fantasies
<`abi> 17th
<`abi> what's a hundred years when you're talking body paint
<LadyNichola> I sometimes play the role of a quiet, gentle domme
<DarkAngel^{a}> me too LadyNichola ,, well a shy quiet Dom ,,, lol
<SirBear> hi [SirBear:#bdsm-kw PING]
<Kilted_One> has anyone here ever done any roleplaying
<SirBear> yes
<kimochi> yes, i have - acting
<DarkAngel^{a}> well once a year I give a shot at doing some schoolroom roleplaying ,,, but I am not a good teacher
<Symmetre> just horsing around ... not in any kind of serious sense
<Kilted_One> in a BDSM sense??
* `abi has a bit of a mask fetish
<rhiannon^^^> you will love the mask i picked up in Texas abi...*wink*
<DarkAngel^{a}> yes Kilted_One,, involving a bad student ,, needing disapline
<`abi> hmmmm...I look forward to seeing that rhiannon^^^ :)
<Kilted_One> anyone want to describe the benefits/drawbacks of doing such roleplaying in a BDSM sense??
<LadyNichola> sure
<LadyNichola> if you're too intense... it can mess with the submissive's head
<LadyNichola> let's say your doing a humiliation scene
<LadyNichola> which is pretty extreme role-playing
* Symmetre perks
<aneed2pay> greetings
<LadyNichola> after the scene... you need a different kind of recovery
<LadyNichola> it's not a physical beating... it's a mental one
<LadyNichola> extreme example... but the same applies in School Marm/schoolgirl play
<Kilted_One> and you find you have to rebuild the individuals "mental esteeme" up again??
<aneed2pay> and bye
<LadyNichola> sometimes, yes
<corsetedgeisha> hello A/all
<LadyNichola> more a case of "bringing them back to reality" I suppose
<Symmetre> I think that depends on the dynamic of the humiliation play -> -corsetedgeisha- [notice:corsetedgeisha] no need for hi and bye during discussions
<Symmetre> if you know the sub very, very well ... you can make her (or him) experience those intense feelings without compromising their self-esteem
<Symmetre> at least, not compromising it on a serious, deep level .... just deep enough they feel that rush
<Symmetre> it comes down to knowing the person inside out though ... and knowing what truly makes them tick
<Symmetre> the true humiliation of it ... I believe ....
<Kilted_One> do you think role playing is easier with someone you know or dont know??
<Symmetre> is that you do this stuff to them knowing that it makes them wet .... and she knows you know ... and that just makes it worse
<`abi> I think that there is a transition time at the end of any scene ... with roleplay, perhaps a little more so. You have to make your way back to your own personna
<`abi> lol....if you don't know them, how do knowi it's a roleplay KO ... they may actually *be* a crazy person :)
<Kilted_One> and your point abigaille?? (smiles)
* Symmetre ponders meeting someone at fet night ... wearing a hockey mask
<kimochi> lol
<DarkAngel^{a}> I resemble that `abi
* `abi chuckles
<Kilted_One> well Im thinking of a story that Jack M told me about a scene that he did where he was to get info out of someone at a Leather retreat and the person didnt know him and he had him believing that he was being injected with drugs and electrocuted with a "violet wand" but he didnt know that
<DarkAngel^{a}> wild mind fuck ,,,,, I like that
<`abi> gawd ... Jack M ... proof positive that Iraq is not hiding weapons of mass destruction
<`abi> nobody hides nuthin from that man
<DarkAngel^{a}> they made him play nice though `abi
<DarkAngel^{a}> politics ,,, yuck
<Kilted_One> with some persona would it not be diffucult to honestly believe that they are really gonna hurt you if you know what I mean (cause sure we are gonna hurt ya)
* kimochi agrees with that!
<`abi> it's kind of a multi-layer thing KO
<`abi> part of your mind knows it isn't real
<Kilted_One> and the true in reverse, some mean SOB kinda hard to beleive that they are gonna be gentle caring and tender
<`abi> part of your mind is reacting as if it were
* DarkAngel^{a} is always kind and tender
<Kilted_One> is role playing for everyone or should it be limited to the Brave??
<DarkAngel^{a}> the Brave,,,,, the few the perverted ?
* kimochi answers "yes" even though it's a conjunctive question
<LadyNichola> I think it's self-limiting in that respect
<kimochi> i find that role playing is another layer of the whole psychology i love so much in D/s
<Kilted_One> how so LadyNichola??
<jewel`{F}> do they not suggest role playing for married couples to help liven up things?
<LadyNichola> you have to have some "grit" to jump into a role
<LadyNichola> it's not for the faint of heart
<LadyNichola> as to perversion... that's a gimme
<Kilted_One> laughs
<Kilted_One> nods K was making sure I understood what you meant
<LadyNichola> kimochi... what do you mean "i find that role playing is another layer of the whole psychology i love so much in D/s
<kimochi> i mean that going into roleplaying adds to the whole "mind fuck" element
<LadyNichola> do you love it all?
<kimochi> especially because i'm not the one driving the bus
<LadyNichola> lol
<kimochi> i don't love every single iota, no - i love the sum total
<Kilted_One> I guess getting your wife to dress as a french maids outfit is role playing to the "mundanes"
* rhiannon^^^ smiles at the word "mundanes"
<kimochi> in fact, sometimes in the middle of roleplaying i've thought "WHAT am i doing here?" - in retrospect, that's always been a good sign of very effective roleplaying
<kimochi> or bus driving
<Kilted_One> how important are props in role playing, or music or location??
<jewel`{F}> i would think they could make or break the scene
<jewel`{F}> rather hard to be "arrested" by a cop without hand cuffs
<kimochi> it depends a lot on how "in tune" the Dominant and submissive are to each other
<LadyNichola> ya know, when I first got into the scene, I looked at "Dominant" as very much a role
<kimochi> how do You look at it now, Mistress?
<LadyNichola> My opinion changes...
<LadyNichola> I have a Dominant nature... but I'm not as rigid about being "on" all the time
<LadyNichola> I think it's quite possible to be an effective Dominant without a lot of toys and posturing
* kimochi tends to agree
<Kilted_One> so you dont believe that the "Captain of the ship is always the Captain" when it comes to being Dominant LadyNichola??
<LadyNichola> Sometimes the Captain let's the first mate steer
<LadyNichola> that's delegation
<kimochi> in fact, i find Dominants are more effective when they lead with subtlety rather than an axe (in general)
<kimochi> although, i'll never object to more leather
<rhiannon^^^> lol
<jewel`{F}> can there ever be too much leather?
<Kilted_One> but are they less dominant when being subtle or when they are delegating??
<kimochi> neither in my experience
<kimochi> in fact, it's hard to imagine how a good Dominant can be "less dominant" - it's a bit like a pregnant lady trying to be "less pregnant"
<Kilted_One> rhiannon^^^ get your nose off that leather
<rhiannon^^^> comment.
<Kilted_One> I like that one kimochi
<LadyNichola> I think a lot of Dominants may be frightened by roleplay for that very reason KO
<kimochi> it's a bit of a limited analogy tho, since after 9 months, even a "good pregnant lady" becomes MUCH less pregnant
<`abi> and she can act less pregnant than she is
<`abi> as can a Dominant
<LadyNichola> If you're not very secure in your own Dominance..
<Kilted_One> that they mabe viewed as less of a dominant you mean LadyNichola??
<LadyNichola> then you're going to be reluctant to muck around with role-playing
<LadyNichola> in part, yes KO
<Kilted_One> nods
<LadyNichola> But also, inside their own heads...
<kimochi> i suppose the same reasoning holds true for submissives, especially when asked to role-play in a Top role (or Top-like role)
<LadyNichola> If you have to "think" yorself into the Dominant "role"
<Kilted_One> so there maybe some after care or at least some head levelling for a dominant after role playing as well??
<LadyNichola> I guess
* kimochi thinks that the best aftercare for a Dominant after a role-playing scene is "Thank You, Mistress"
<LadyNichola> but that partly speaks back to My original point about roles that re-inforce as opposed to contradict
<LadyNichola> The mind shift from "Prison Guard" to Dominant isn't that big a leap
<Kilted_One> I have 5 mins left in the formal discussion period for last thoughts
<Kilted_One> we can of course keep the discussion going all night if anyone really wants to play that role
<`abi> my goodness KO, you've been implanted with a Mod-bot gene
<Kilted_One> I have been assimulated
<Kilted_One> that is what happens when you go to Dallas and become a "walk through" at the airport
<`abi> lol
<rhiannon^^^> LOL
<Kilted_One> for those not in the know a 'walk through" is when you refuse to take you shoes off to some authoritative bitch who thinks she owns the place and they then proceed to give you the third degree
<Kilted_One> well that ends the formal part of the discussion, thanks to all of you