February 25 2001 EhBC Online Discussion

* Kilted_One has set this auto msg to on...
<Kilted_One> Current Setting: Channel: #BDSM-KW Greeting: Welcome to the channel, discussion in progress. Please avoid Walton style hellos and bye's.....topic is "Early Interest -- Things in Your Youth That Led You to BDSM" join in with us and speek freely
<Kilted_One> sure thing.. MsTiia...anyone that doesnt want their nick to show in these logs pls change it or leave now. These logs are posted to our web page
<MsTiia> Thank you KO
* Kilted_One smiles and says your welcome
<MsTiia> Is there any incident or experience in your childhood, teens or young adulthood that may have been a factor in determining your BDSM interests today?
* cushlamochree hides the Walton greetings and giggles
* MsTiia asks Is there any incident or experience in your childhood, teens or young adulthood that may have been a factor in determining your BDSM interests today?
<lostsoul^^> always had the need to please other, to serve in some fashion
<dalian> i don't know if they were a factor but i remember having interesting trysts with Barbie, Ken and G.I. Joe....and i loved playing cops and robbers, with me always being tied up and interrogated
<lostsoul^^> wether it be at work, doing jobs no one wanted or at home always making sure everyone had all they needed
<MsTiia> dallllllian, do you still like bondage/interrogation?
<Demoneira> hmm... you know, I had a pretty uneventful childhood, yet I do remember playing games that if I think of now, kind of reflect this lifestyle.. thinks lied dalian that involved someone getting tied..
* Kilted_One can remember things in his early years but doenst know if they led to or determined my interests today...think that they may have just help to "identify" my born "desire/kink/slant/whatever"
<Demoneira> (like, not lied.. *looks at her fingers*)
<dalian> as i got older, i always sought relationships with men who were very Dominant, but led to unfortunate outcomes
<dalian> yes, i still like bondage and interrogation
<lostsoul^^> *smiles*, the play aspect came after the lifestyle, was so afraid at first that i would not be able to play, just was looking for the D/s
* cushlamochree recalls all the times as a kid playing with the neighbourhood kids, wrapping our naked bodies in snap beads, drawing pictures on each others naked skin with the eyes closed
<MsTiia> for the new arrivals .... Is there any incident or experience in your childhood, teens or young adulthood that may have been a factor in determining your BDSM interests today?
<Demoneira> really cush? I know when I was older.. round 11 or so, I used to have a friend 2ho'd play my kidnapper a lot... sometimes got sexual connotations
<cushlamochree> this one thinks even back at six years old there was sexual connotations in most of her play, what a slut
<Demoneira> it apparently had an opposite effect on me though.. cause it was with another girl, and now I can't look at a woman sexually.. a girl kissed me and I felt embarassed for no reason
* cushlamochree giggles
<MsTiia> and of course tiia was requested to spank an older guy in a public park at the age of 15
* grrrlkelly used to tape a pointed lid from one of her mothers hair "tint" bottles to her privates when she was around 5-7
<cushlamochree> Demoneira, is there some need to have to look at another woman now though, or is life fine without?
<grrrlkelly> i wonder if this is when i started my desire to have a penis..now i just "strap one on" *grin*
<Demoneira> well no cush, but it does trouble me why there was no problem before but there is now...
<MsTiia> Were you also a tomboy? I was
* cushlamochree thinks if it bothers you enough you will look into the underlying messages
<grrrlkelly> i was definately NOT a tomboy...very grrrrrly
<janiz> finding a chair...and listening...~smiles to Aall~
<Demoneira> it doesn't.. there's more or less a void of emotion.. no attraction, no repulsion.. it's just weird is all..
<cushlamochree> not a tomboy here either
<MsTiia> is there anyone out here who used ot tie him/herself up? I have met many who did
<cushlamochree> Demoneira, maybe it is not weird, but normal for you, perhaps the upbringing you received stated pros and cons of such relationships
<dalian> i always wanted to...but then didn't know what i would do after the tying
<janiz> that is how i and my husband first started Ms. Tiia
<MsTiia> and to the newcomers ..... Is there any incident or experience in your childhood, teens or young adulthood that may have been a factor in determining your BDSM interests today?
<MsTiia> whiiich .... tying up?
<janiz> yes Ma'am first time it was with nylons
<cushlamochree> also perhaps for some of us that grew up with strong father figures it lead us to think that the submissive role is normal, from a woman's point of view that is
<MsTiia> nylons are safe ... you can get out of them if you panic
<Demoneira> was never mentioned.. and never occured to me.. i had a pretty naive upbringing about many things... I'm not sure what led to the bdsm.. i think much of it was an unsatisfactory sexual side of me.. felt almost empty at times
<janiz> Wwe didnt know about safe back then..we didnt know anything...it was just being...kinky
<MsTiia> my first bondage ... tied my boyfriend up with neckties to the bed
<janiz> neckties for me..were used...so i wouldnt make sooo much noice..*l*
<janiz> noise
* Demoneira did that with scarves.. he didn't seen taken with the idea though
<MsTiia> lol
* Kilted_One reembers tying a girl to the pole when he was about 8-9 and experiencing his first "woody".....knew at some time I would be going back there...didnt know what or why just that I would be
<nimeesha{JFC}> i asked my ex husband years ago to tie me to the bed...should have seen the look on his face...i think he thought i had lost my mind LOL
<janiz> i never asked to tie up..i always wanted to be tied...
* cushlamochree used handcuffs and long strips of licorice to tie people up before learning of the lifestyle
<MsTiia> licorice .... oh .... I like that
<dalian> when i was 12...i was gangraped...it wasnt the sexual aspect that was devastating but the humiliation itself...the sexual part was a big turn on for me, but was never able to admit it til about a year ago
<Demoneira> licorice? that's original
<cushlamochree> the long skinny strips, tell them they are not allowed to break free, had a man in tears over it
<MsTiia> humiliation .... gangrape .... that too makes sense ... do you enjoy humiliation today?
<dalian> no...it is a hard limit for me probably related to that very incident
<MsTiia> oh, cush .... that is soooo good .... would work on a vanilla lover
<MsTiia> dalian, there are alot of us out ther that do not feel comfortable with humiliation ... even without a terrifying experience
<janiz> once i had a humiliation scene...and to this day...it comes back and haunts me
<nimeesha{JFC}> does anyone remember the childhood games we used to play...cowboys and indians...maidens in distress...etc...i always managed to play the part of the woman that got tied up *smiles*...
<dalian> i loved playing "wood nymph"....lol
<MsTiia> nimeesha ... and when you were tied up .... how did you feel?
<Demoneira> i did sometimes nimeesha, but mostly cause it was the safer role for me.. I used to wish i had it in me to be the other though
<MsTiia> some bondage interest people feel "safe" whne bound, others feel wonderfully vulnerable
<Demoneira> depends on the cirmilkstances of the tying I think
<MsTiia> but I am curious how the "child" thought when tied up
<dalian> i dont remember feeling safe, but yes...very vulnerable
<nimeesha{JFC}> center of attention of course...helpless yet safe...i have always liked others to be in control
<Demoneira> me too actually.. I don't remember even thinking anything of it
<cushlamochree> as a youngster and most of the tying I was involved in was naked it was hmmmmm always a bit of a high trying to not be caught by the adults
<nimeesha{JFC}> i always felt safe because my prince would always be there to set me free *grins* ..
<MsTiia> dalian ... what did you mean by playing "wood nymph"?
<nimeesha{JFC}> in exchange for a kiss of course *smiles*
<dalian> wood nymph: running through the woods (my childhood home was in a bush) and being chased until i was caught and tied to a tree
<nimeesha{JFC}> interesting to think back to how it felt to be tied up when there was no sex or sexual feelings involved
<dalian> i think i was trying to be a fairie or sprite or something along those lines
<nimeesha{JFC}> hmm i am thinking i like that game dalian *smiles*
<MsTiia> What about the cartoons where the girl was tied to the train tracks? Did that or any other TV pprogram influence any of you?
<dalian> and there was always a sexual context to it...the boys wanted to see the nymph's breasts
<Kilted_One> dick and nell??
* ^rhiannon^ puts her hand up...;) i LOVED that cartoon...lol
<dalian> me too!
* Demoneira has never heard of it... wonders if any generation gaps make a difference
<dalian> penelope pitstop was always getting tied up too
<nimeesha{JFC}> i think that we got some of our role play from Dudley Doright
* cushlamochree never heard of it either
<MsTiia> And dreams ..... were they influenced by books or TV characters?
<dalian> i can't think of any specific book or tv program
* ^rhiannon^ dreams were influenced by r/l people. not too many tv characters.
* Demoneira shakes her head.. I was always a bookworm, but nothing comes to mind
* cushlamochree thinks some of the fairy tales did cause for some dreams though, who does not want to be living the happily ever after scene?
<nimeesha{JFC}> sooo true cushie
<cushlamochree> as a child I always hungered for what I read and saw on TV as it never existed around myself in real life, til I read castlerealm one day
<cushlamochree> to find out that a love so deep does truly exist made me weep
<MsTiia> yes, the prince/hero resuing the damsel in distress
<cushlamochree> even the damsel rescuing the prince usual seemed sour in my past experiences, til I learned that you can truly trust another being
<MsTiia> I tend to be writng a few paces behind, not used to IRC, forgive me.
<dalian> for me...the rescuing prince always had "his" price to be paid as well ;)
<Sherwood> joining the discussion late.............
<Sherwood> maybe someone can relate
* MsTiia what the question is .... Is there any incident or experience in your childhood, teens or young adulthood that may have been a factor in determining your BDSM interests today?
<Sherwood> when I was a kid.........went to the CNE
<MsTiia> and?
<Sherwood> was exploring various "locked doors"
<MsTiia> aha!
<Sherwood> found a bunch of women tying men to tables...........
<Sherwood> seemed to be a contest of sorts...............
<MsTiia> Hey .... I never saw that!
<Sherwood> but it blew my mind............
* cushlamochree loos shocked, plans a sight seeing tour
<cushlamochree> looks<
<MsTiia> how old were you .... and how did you feel then?
<Sherwood> they all had cowboy and cowgirl duds on..............
<Sherwood> honest...............
<Kilted_One> may I ask a question..... how many feel that things in there early life created the desire/want in the lifestyle that they have today...or how many feel that they were born with the slant and things that happened just confirmed it to be there (I am the later)
<SkyDom> Girl ropers.....hmmmmmm
<Sherwood> I was probably about 12
<dalian> i agree with the latter as well
<Demoneira> I am the latter also
<cushlamochree> this one tends to think that all of her life experiences have pointed her this way, the longing for something more, something deeper, but yes much of it is also the inborn need to please others
* ^rhiannon^ thinks that it was very early, as mom and dad lived a D/s relationship, and that was the part that i craved. i didn't know about the kink part till later in life..
<MsTiia> I had no choice .... ruled the boys when I was a kid and was found by many a sub all my life
<MsTiia> but ther are many who can relate to incidents that affected them ...
* Ravenn says evening to all
* abitbent waves
<MsTiia> I fell that the type of Domme I am and my interests are all determined by previous experinces or feelings
<Demoneira> To be honest I think they kind of go hand in hand.. the natural drive made us explore, the experiences and feelings made us continue
<dalian> good point Demoneira
<Kilted_One> would it be fair to say that wea re born with a disposition to be "dom" or "sub' in nature and that we have just been able to "explore" these traits in this lifestyle??
<Demoneira> I just think their has to be SOME inborn need to do this or why would we have had any of the eventual experiences?
<Demoneira> thanks dalian :)
<dalian> i think so KO
<abitbent> i can agree with that KO..
<abitbent> it was that way for me... i had these feelings even BEFORE i was sexually active..
<dalian> those past experiences also gave me the opportunity to do the tying up....and i didn't like it at all
<abitbent> Linda Carter just helped my feelings along.. *wink*
<Ravenn> yes abitbent ... not only before sexual activity but BEFORE i even knew what sexual activity was i was fantasizing in a bdsm context
<abitbent> sure Ravenn ... just didn't have a label for it..
* Kilted_One can DCC you a pic of her in her uniform abitbent??
<Demoneira> luckily being Dom or sub is not dependant on sex
<MsTiia> If it is inborn, so how do you account for "switches"?
<abitbent> lol.. thanx Sir.
<Demoneira> lol.. she did look darn good in that outfit didn't she?
<Demoneira> I'm a libra.. I'm supposed to be indecisive Tiia *winks* honestly though, I feel that different cirmilkstances bring out different needs in me
<abitbent> switches and those who find bdsm by a "learned" experience i can't seem to collaborate with... not that anything is wrong with that.. we're just different
<MsTiia> How do you account for the little boy who liked being tied up becoming a wonderful Bondage master?
<Demoneira> well abitbent, my personailty is primarily Dominant in a day-to-day thing... when I have a desire to switch it is almost completely sexual in reasoning..
<abitbent> a nice let go or release Demoneira ?
<Demoneira> something like that.. when I get overwhelmed by something, I prefer to be able to simply "feel" if that makes sense
<MsTiia> And the best male submissives are the macho-type Dominant men ..... go figure!
* abitbent nods.. :o)
* Demoneira has found herself get slightly more Dommish upon having a child though.. *grins* go figure
<abitbent> well for me, when BDSM was in it's infancy... and i didn't know what it was... i'd take it in any form...
<abitbent> being the tyee or the tyor that is..
<abitbent> now that i'm here and can understand it, i've no desire to top at all..
<Demoneira> well, I find sometimes trying all sides is the only way to really know which you prefer
<abitbent> i hear that alot Demoneira .. You certainly aren't alone on that one.. for me it was somewhat different.. (who knew bdsm would have so many facets?)
<SirNish> Evening A/all
<Demoneira> I hear you there.. I'm still finding things that make me go "People actually DO that?!"
<MsTiia> Evening the question tonight is ...Is there any incident or experience in your childhood, teens or young adulthood that may have been a factor in determining your BDSM interests today?
<Demoneira> and things that I want to try of course.. course I'll oiften try anything in small doses just to see
<abitbent> sure thing Ms Demoneira .. some things You just may like.. :o)
<Demoneira> for sure.. I never would have guesed I'd like fireplay.. I've even managed to convince a friend to let me try it on him
<MsTiia> KO, is someone saving this discussion? -abitbent- not sure why we couldn't connect for that file... *shrugs* -> -abitbent- [notice:abitbent] it is this program will use mirc
* Kilted_One thinks that we are well past the 10:00PM closing so the log can be turned off but the discussion can continue
* MsTiia thanks E/everyone for their participation and waves a fond farewell
<Kilted_One> ty for your time and efforts MsTiia
<dalian> thanks MsTiia
<dalian> great discussion
<MsTiia> and thank you KO