February 24, 2002 EhBC Online Discussion

<BernieRoehl> Welcome to or regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to remain anonymous, you should change your nick. We recommend using twisted.ma.us.dal.net as your server, to minimize lag. Tonight's discussion is "Balancing D/s and Real Life". The moderator is BernieRoehl. Enjoy the discussion!
<arhiannah> same here...no matter how badly they were doing...lol
<candleboy> yes jewel
<candleboy> car fixed aready arhi?
<candleboy> sorry, meant jewel'{F}
* `Ronin-- <--will actually attempt to sit through discussion night tonight
* Sound request: can't find 'irc.bondage.com' [Guest28694 SOUND]
<BernieRoehl> So, welcome everyone...
<arhiannah> yes candleboy....has been for a couple weeks now :)
<arhiannah> lol...nm then
<candleboy> yet to see KO at woodstock
<BernieRoehl> I know a lot of people (including people here in the channel) who have had to struggle with the balance between a D/s relationship and all the other aspects of their life.
<Kilted_One> I wasnt that old candleboy <smiles>
<BernieRoehl> It can be quite a challenge, sometimes. Does anyone have any opening thoughts as to how to manage it?
<`Ronin-> I don't do well in discussion meetings so if I freak out my apologies ahead of time. =)
<BernieRoehl> Don't worry about it, Ronin
<janizz> where do people have the problem in the balance?
<arhiannah> i don't know about managing it...seems to me anyhow that one has to be a master at time management...in my case..i have a 5 year old & two boarders...
* `Ronin- flashes a big thumbs up sign
* spiced` suggests looking at d/s as simply the shell for the relationship...the trust, respect, honesty etc that we look for...the things that should be there anyway
<BernieRoehl> That's a good example, arhiannah
<`Ronin-> Well, persons like myself who are married and see another person, or have seen, must balence their time wisely within both relationships for example.
<kneels> well janizz.....i work full-time at one job..part-time at another...go to school part time....and am a single other....my Dom...is out of town all the time...there you go...there is our problem with balance
<arhiannah> those things are always there...but we have to be discrete when we do get to spend time with each other if i have a full house
<spiced`> do i assume correctly that people equate d/s with the physical aspect?
<janizz> so you mean...finding time then....not balance?
<spiced`> such as scening or playing or whatever term used?
<`Ronin-> No, the real problems arise as I see it on the emotional/mental issues.
<arhiannah> even though it's *my* house...i have to respect the boundries of those that pay to be here and protecting my son from our wicked ways ;)
<kneels> i dont spiced
<kneels> but it is hard to have D/s "energy"....or to have that physical re-enforcement, ritual etc.....when time and vanilla dont mesh
<jewel`{F}> so that is what we are trying to find the balance between, the "playtime" versus the rest of the time?
<BernieRoehl> So would it be fair to say that part of the balancing act involves "compartmentalizing" your life to some extent?
<arhiannah> very much so Bernie
<spiced`> but if the respect etc is there all the time, how is that separated from d/s?
<ElbowFetish> Well we don't all dom our co-workers, do we?
<kneels> well for us BernieRoehl..not really...when i do "life" things..i do them the way Max expects them done....so...D/s to us might be me having a balanced checkbook that i would otherwise let slide...not exciting....but a form of D/s
<jen{SE}> D/s will always be a part of the relationship if it is one based on D/s, but the D/s can be subtle does not have to be "in your face" D/s *lol*
* `Ronin- has a few co-workers at work he'd like to Dom...heh heh heh
<BernieRoehl> So finding ways of expressing Dominance (or submission) in a vanilla context is part of the answer, then
<kneels> but jen....for me (Max doesnt have this problem) i feel the need for the ritualistic aspect more to re-enforce it
<jewel`{F}> for me the relationship is D/s and it is always there, it is the rest of my life that has to be balanced, and that would have to happen whether or not i was in a D/s relationship
<jen{SE}> yes kneels some do, but the rituals can be very vanilla.. bring Him His cofee every morning
<BernieRoehl> How important do people feel those daily rituals are?
<jen{SE}> Server two handed, eye contact to ask permission, it all can look very vanilla and only the two involved no different
<^^ZaR^^> thats it jen in a nutshell, its our asses that are out of bed in the mornings getting coffee, in a nilla relationship you would find alternating chores
<kneels> exactly jen.....but he is in N.S. right now....and Vancouber before that....etc etc...so the physical presence is not here to re-enforce anything....yet i continue to do what i am told..i find it hard at times
<kneels> Vancouber? new city..nice place
<Kilted_One> and it is the other side of the world almost too huh kneels??
<jewel`{F}> Bernie i would thing that the importance would depend on the couple and what was expected
<{OT}cariye> it is hard kneels :(
<kneels> so we had a big problem with him coming back to find me in bratville
<DeuxLeMax`> thats next to beamsville
<kneels> grins
<arhiannah> lol
<xxendlessdesirexx> *s*
<spiced`> d/s is simply how the two interact
<BernieRoehl> Did you find that without that daily control, your discipline began to slip, kneels? (let me know if I'm mis-paraphrasing you...)
<oasis{Omy}> daily rituals for me are grounding.. because in my working life I am the boss.. the rituals re focus my head where it needs be
* jewel`{F} smiles at oasis{Omy}
<rose_Deid{MD}> i am online and have daily rituals i have to perform for Master
<rose_Deid{MD}> reminds me of who i belong to
<kneels> Max has daily control.....what we dont have is daily re-enforcement....i feel he is far away....and therefore "I" feel disconnected....i crave just somehting simple like being at his feet to re-enforce it in my head
<kneels> yes oasis{Omy}
<DeuxLeMax`> im thinking of a electronic dog collar
<kneels> lol
<jen{SE}> *smiles* @ kneels, that is you missing Him.. not necessarily the D/s, that is part of it
<Brigg> *L*
<arhiannah> lol
<^^ZaR^^> question: how does the Dom balance the rl aspect,,knowing that they COULD make the sub do everything, or have no imput in the choice of activites planned for nilla time? (i wonder if too much yes Sir could be boring?)
<`Ronin-> Dog collars with the electrical charge are fun to use but you have to be careful
<kneels> it is the D/s jen....i mean yes i do miss him....but i am so indepenent without him here...it gets hard to be "the boss " for 5 weeks and then have him show up and say....i dont fucking think so...lol
<jen{SE}> *lol*, hmmm, me thinks, the i don't fucking think so can be just as bad when done on a daily basis *grins*
<jen{SE}> but i think i know what you are saying
<Brigg> I think that there is a certain amount and certain tasks that becomne inseperable from the Dom ... ie: I polish My OWN boots .. it is a thiong I do so that should I take a position front and centre in poublic, I know that how I present Myself is as a result of My OWNB actions and work .. not having sluffed it off onto someone else ....
<oasis{Omy}> doesnt that give you a warm fuzzy feeling when that happens kneels... we actually think the lil things go unnoticed .. till they get that look in thier eyes
<ElbowFetish> It's tough being the "common sense" for someone else.
<kneels> but my everyday life is pretty much laid out by him..and i just do it because it is what is best for me and i want to make him proud....but shit..that stuff is boring...and with him not here i just feel like i am doing D/s all by myself sometimes
<Brigg> add to that that there becomes a point where I have to balance out what she can or can not do .. when she may *THINK* she can, but I know it is time to ease up on her enough to let her regroup
<jen{SE}> SE and i have few rituals, but what W/we have is a strong sense of Who is Dominant and who is submissive, and to me that is easy to balance with R/l because you know what our relationship is r/l...
<`Ronin-> Especially since "common sense" isn't all that common.
<^^ZaR^^> does the sub ever appear to be a yes-man after awhile?
<Brigg> there is one danger that worries Me, however, in the rt outside world and O/opur world.
<Brigg> *LOL* ... No ^^ZaR^^ .. not that I have seen ... and you can get a sens eof that starting to happen ... monitor their spirit.
<jen{SE}> yes Zar, i do believe too much Yes Sir is a bad thing
<kneels> well that is true jen{SE}....we had to come up with daily rituals even without him here
<spiced`> why is that Brigg?
<spiced`> the outside world?
<Brigg> My concern ... and I have seen this happen .. as has My other .. what happens when the lifestyle 'slips' and styatements are made in the real world .. ie: I say in a restaurant with all the fellow vanilla frieeds, pass the salt please' and she says "Yes, Master"
<jen{SE}> what are we trying to balance. the relationships we live are r/l we live them everyday
<jen{SE}> *lol* @ Brigg that happens alot and most think we are just being sarcastic,, like what did your last slave die off....
* rhiannon{KO} giggles at Brigg's statment as she has done the same thing a few times.
<kneels> oh i call Max daddy in public by mistake Brigg...i yell it out in walmart
<S_W> "mistake?"
<BernieRoehl> I find that situation arises fairly often, Brigg. Do you feel it's a problem?
<^^ZaR^^> but they would readily accept "yes Pookie" (pass it off with a laugh and a pet name explanation if needed)
<Brigg> Indeed .. but if you are in close quarters in a small town environment .. the echoes can be devastating if not carefully cintroilled ...
* `Ronin- shudders at the word..."Pookie"
<arhiannah> lol....i've referred to DD as "Daddy" in front of my son....he laughs at me & says you can't call him that...he's not your daddy
<oasis{Omy}> fallow it with a giggle and a hail Satan.. they wont even rember that you just called him Master..
<Brigg> not so much a problem as a realistic danger ....
<xxendlessdesirexx> *observing her Master quietly*
<arhiannah> lol oasis{Omy}
* BernieRoehl remembers one submissive who did that, and when someone gave her a questioning look, she said "he's a big I Dream of Jeannie fan"
<^^ZaR^^> good answer
<kneels> cute
<oasis{Omy}> lolol
<Brigg> for example, the town we are in is on a high state of frenzy alrert as an out of town person has been asking women to go to his room for photograph sessions ... that is poretty common in the big cities .. but in a small place .. LOOK OUT O'ER THERE!
* BernieRoehl smiles at oasis{Omy}
<mary^magdelene> i agree with you Brigg..i live in a very small place and it is difficult to be expressive when everyone knows everyone...words fly, people turn heads...doors close..the whole 9 yards
* BernieRoehl nods, recognizing that small towns do have their problems
<jewel`{F}> oasis{Omy} i will tell Fyre that is what you said to say right after i say it
* oasis{Omy} giggles
<mary^magdelene> i am proud of who/what i am, but sometimes it is best to say nothing of it
<xxendlessdesirexx> *wonders if small town people should move to bigger towns like kitchenr *cough*
<oasis{Omy}> needs the little nuances.. rituals to keep my submission in the for front .. so it doesnt become lost in the goings on of every day
<jen{SE}> *lol*
<kneels> well since Max could actually be my daddy...i dont think people think much of it ....i usually catch myself by dadd....
<Capt_n_suzq> lol
* BernieRoehl chuckles @ xxendlessdesirexx :-)
* arhiannah nods....my mother would go balistic...she works with "oppressed" women...and would assume the worst about my lifestyle
* xxendlessdesirexx smirks
<BernieRoehl> Yes, I would have a hard time in a small town
<candleboy> i find bdsm to be a welcome distraction from vanilla
* `Ronin- is oppressed
<Brigg> As to the question of 'what are we trying to balance', I agree what we live IS our LIVES .. I have a VERY hard tiome splitting the hairs of lifestyle and vanilla .. it is what I choose to live .. and with whom I choose to live it as she also so chooses ... BUT .. I have found that there are times when, against all that I want , need, desire and choose, I have to let go for the sake of outside world influences ...
<candleboy> especially in a small town
* `Ronin- <--the man is trying to hold me down but I'll break through...LOL
* Masterguny says Evening
<spiced`> how do you separate who you are?
<arhiannah> very carefully
<jen{SE}> this is true of any thing Brigg,, can't imagine having even vanilla sex with my mother visiting *lol*, balance is part of every lifestyle
<{OT}cariye> but how is it possible to balance DS when there are too many other factors...I am a single parent, going to school , volunteering, homework, household etc and Master is married so there is His work and home and wife etc etc etc
<jen{SE}> you can never separate who you spiced` , you are what you are, where you are does not change that
<ElbowFetish> What about within the relationship? How do you know when your sub needs some elbow room?
<jen{SE}> changes how you display/show it but does not change the core
<{OT}cariye> somenights we think ourselves lucky to get 10 uninterupted minutes online
<BernieRoehl> That struggle between being myself or living by society's rules is certainly an interesting one. I find the older I get, the less I worry about what other people think and the more attention I give to who am.
<arhiannah> when bruises show up on the Dom ElbowFetish....lol
<spiced`> exactly jen{SE}...so where is the balance problem?
<candleboy> what is the alternative Brigg?
<jewel`{F}> {OT}cariye i think that even if your relationship were vanilla you would have a big balencing act
* ^^ZaR^^ puts up PMS warning signs on tough months, and at that time, ^^^^LS^^^ gives me space or abit of elbow room to growl if needed
<kneels> well for me spice....it comes with needing more ritual/contact....but no not to the core...that doesnt change
<Brigg> a perfect example ... I *LOVE* having My other in skirts ... it is a deliscious texture I have added to Our lives ... when I saw that she wasn;t well I told her to go to long skirts for a bit and when I found that her work had cxommented that they liked hwer in the long skirts FAR more and viewed it as more appropriate .. it ripped through Me to think that I was actually failing My own addage of hurt .. but not harm.
<xxendlessdesirexx> would someone sacrafice what theyhave sought all there life though for what he/she feels is right in society?..
<{OT}cariye> maybe but I probably would have chosen a single man if I was not looking for what Master can do :)
<Brigg> Re: elbow room .. that comes wirth the time and practice of being together .. to guage One another ... tough one to pin down to woirds, actually.
<jen{SE}> exactly jewel, the balancing act is part of life
<arhiannah> i have too much elbow room...i would love to have "more" D/s in my life...but it's not possible right now....or any time in the near future
<Omy> You can have lots of elbow room...it's all a matter of working the details
<jen{SE}> sometimes i worry that we place too much emphazie on the lifestyle instead of who we are as ppl
<oasis{Omy}> experimenting to find what works
<Omy> I took oasis and her 3 kids to the fair and we had D/s through most of the event
<spiced`> agreed jen{SE}....d/s is simply a way for us to express who we are
<Brigg> but it is a DANGEROUS way for us to express who we are in so far as the outside world is concerned ....
<Brigg> we do so in confoines and sanctuaries such as this where we have gained a certain level of trust in those around us to be able to do so
<Omy> I don't recall who posted it, but they mentioned when in public instead of holding hands he holds her by the wrist. Its subtle but effective
<spiced`> is it any business of the outside world?
* xxendlessdesirexx frowns
<oasis{Omy}> it focuses attention well
<{OT}cariye> Master does
<BernieRoehl> Dangerous in what way, Brigg?
<{OT}cariye> or my hair if we are standing in line
<Brigg> but truthfully, we are bound by general sociaetal infuences, albeit becomming more and more tolerant, that would restrict our activities otherwwise for the safety of those trapped in situations that are similar, but not the same (ie: the abusicve relationships)
<^^ZaR^^> the point made earlier about hurt not harm applies here i think, being aware of outside factors can let you balance the D/s & r/ worlds
<EchoesII> *ponders*,,, if O/one brings to t' daily tasks of "life" with t' same dignigty and honour has T/they do and is due to a "punishment" or "disipline" have T/they not started to bridge t' two worlds ????,,,, "standing proud to both ????,,
<Brigg> BernieRoehl .. it is dangerous in the manner of prejudices and retributions members of non-lifestyle siociety can bring to bear .. as mary^magdelene pointed out ...
<jen{SE}> why does anyone have to know what type of relationship you have?? i don't feel the need to tell ppl what kind of sex i enjoy, no more than i would in a vanilla situation.. and most don't find it strange that i defer to my partner in most things, they just think i'm old fashioned
<oasis{Omy}> if Master led me around the city on a leash that would be dangerous.... but subtle rituals or actions known between the two.. easily go unnoticed
* Omy smiles at jen{SE} I love it when that happens.
<^^ZaR^^> and that in itself is balancing
<jewel`{F}> jen{SE} exactly,
<Brigg> perhaps ... and again perhaps even more so in a larger urban area ... but you get into the smaller locations, and those rituials are more open to note ... and as such, knowing the potential consequences .. it can be a VERY precarious situation ...
<^^ZaR^^> is it up to the Dominant to do all the balancing?
<jewel`{F}> it is the same that Master expects certain behaviour when W/we are in public
<xxendlessdesirexx> wonders why some people care so much what others think, what happened with goign with what makes you happy, what makes you feel good, and what feels right...
<ElbowFetish> The Dom doesn't do all the balancing, but has to allow for it.
<jen{SE}> so much of D/s can be explained away as being very proper, please, thank you, serving a drink, lighting a cigarette all very polite vanilla things to do
<Omy> Well Brigg one must adapt to ones surroundings...if one can't, then they have no business being there in the first place. Do they?
<Brigg> admittedly, not that I would stop doing what I am doing .. nor with whom I am doing it with, but I am under no delusion that were someone to find out, the ripples could well be VERY far reaching.
<xxendlessdesirexx> to care what others think is a hinderance to yourself, your own heart and it's desire... and possibly ... your partener
<kneels> no Zar...actually Max and have had big problems over that...i expected him to...even from across the country
<mary^magdelene> thats all fine and dandy xxendlessdesirexx..but when your business is based at home and you count on your community to support you thru your business, and they don;t agree with your lifestyle..well..the results can be tough
<candleboy> i live in small town, what happens in my home is my business
<arhiannah> as long as you keep it in your home.....right?
<xxendlessdesirexx> there is a time and place for everything, i am not saying flash a huge neon light saying hey look at me i beat my slave and i like it... but to clam up everything... to ABSOLUTELY shut down for fear of being found out... that is harmful....
<`Ronin-> Social pressure to conform is awful. However in any group you will always have social pressure to conform. I have seen in bdsm what happens to those who don't quite fit in. You'd think that people in bdsm would be more tolaerant than they are but that is not always the case. I think it's people, and not groups, that are tolerant.
<^^ZaR^^> so the comprimise would be, don't do something that may embarrass Yourself or partner in public
<candleboy> or in company of those like minded
<Brigg> ^^ZaR^^ .. I think the Dom has an obligation to do much of the balancing ..a fter all it is the Dom that typically leads His/Her other through the non balancing times .. commanding difficult orders and sometimes VERY difficult times .. and as such the trust is ever more placed in Him/Her .. so ... yes ....
<Omy> I agree with you 110% `Ronin-
<Brigg> ahh .. but that IS the trick arhiannah
<Brigg> if you are living it as your LIFE .. if it is literally what you LIVE and not a part time event .. THEnb you have som e REAL juggling and balancing to do ... at times, anyways.
<^^ZaR^^> and in all fairness the sub shouldnt decide to show her submission by crawling across the supermarket with His fav icecream as way of saying sorry i forgot to polish the canes last nite after play
<oasis{Omy}> with soo much pressure from the outside world how does a couple balnce both parts .so that the D/s does not become lost or neglected
* spiced` has found the only balancing act is to put ALL the toys away when the family comes to vist <g>
* jewel`{F} giggles at spiced`
<jen{SE}> *lol* @ spiced`,, nods, nods, have to do that soon, my Dad's bd and the whole family coming over
* xxendlessdesirexx *writes memo.... put toys away when family comes over....*
<^^ZaR^^> jen is correct in saying that by applying polite gestures, such as serves, lights, etc, it shows the Dom the respect He is due, and lets her serve Him
<rhiannon{KO}> W/we live D/s 24/7, reguarless where we are or who is around us. W/we just have different levels of it in different situations..
* jen{SE} down comes the swing in the bedroom out to the garage with the cross,,stomping all the way
<spiced`> lol
<BernieRoehl> It seems like the aspect of balance that we're focussing on is between social expectations and the need to express a D/s connection.
<arhiannah> i don't mind pushing the envelope....or rather, having it pushed for me....it heightens the excitement...but letting our activities spill over into someone else's space infringes on their rights and comfort zones
<Omy> agreed arhiannah
<Brigg> what other areas were you wanting to bring focus to BernieRoehl?
<BernieRoehl> I'm wondering about things like time. Between work, family life, and other obligations, I know a lot of people have trouble finding a balance. Any thoughts on that?
<Omy> When you told KO to &*&( off rhiannon{KO} what level was that? ;>
* Kilted_One laughs remembering the time he caught his father examining the steel cuffs (when my dad thought that I was busy)...he put them back down and never said a word
<spiced`> if the d/s is how you relate to your partner, ie the respect shown, it's there all the time
<rhiannon{KO}> lol. that was while being taken over a lil edge. where i loose all thoughts, etc..etc....about the only time i ever can say it...LOL
<^^ZaR^^> did You make an effort to find out what your father thought KO Sir?
<jen{SE}> *lol* rhiannon{KO} are you still saying those nasty things to KO in the middle of a scene,
* arhiannah chuckles....my 5yo walked out of the bedroom with a length of rope....whirling it like it was a lasso....in front of my mother...i said it was for camping
* Kilted_One laughs and knows that was at the "Latex flogger tips only level"
* jen{SE} who would never do that
<Omy> For us Bernie we are working on subtle little rituals that are used throught the day
* Omy looks at KO and chuckles
<candleboy> my Mistress has a son and he he is left out of O/our lifestyle
<jewel`{F}> as a sub certain things are always in the "back ground" no matter what part of the day i am dealing with
<Brigg> I tend to incorpiorate things intot the work environment .. ie: what to wear ... or perhaps a certain added bondage under the clothes .. or a trask or two to complete while away ... something .. just to keep Me in her presence and psyci
* BernieRoehl nods
<oasis{Omy}> i need those rituals.. ie kick starts.. given the opurtunity of a free rein.. i'll take the cart too lol
* rhiannon{KO} giggles at jen{SE}. yhhha right...lol
<DeuxLeMax`> nite all
* rhiannon{KO} recalls hearing a few choice words comming out of your mouth once or twice..hehehe.
<oasis{Omy}> hehe
<Kilted_One> (Zar) not at all, if he had asked I would have told him but he didnt so I didnt either
<jen{SE}> ahhh but i learn from the best rhiannon{KO} *hugs*
<BernieRoehl> So... anyone have any thoughts on time management?
<{OT}cariye> I just drop everything when Master can come
* `Ronin- wonders if people could make mpney as a professional bdsm time manager for couples?
<jen{SE}> do the best you can with the time you have
<^^ZaR^^> thank You KO Sir,, and that itself demonstrates "balancing" D/s and life
<{OT}cariye> come over that is :)
<oasis{Omy}> we know palm pilots work Bernie.. umm if you rember to log the event and adress
<jewel`{F}> for me time managment is making sure i am near a phone at the right time to call Master
<rhiannon{KO}> lol@jen...i HATE LATEX...and i say it every time He uses it.....grrr its evil.
<xxendlessdesirexx> time management becomes more complex when distance is involved..
<jen{SE}> *lol*
* BernieRoehl chuckles, since he's come to rely on his
<Brigg> Can you give Me an examplke of what you mean by time management BernieRoehl?
<Brigg> How dio you mean xxendlessdesirexx
<oasis{Omy}> long distance can be frustrateing...the ime between can make me caulky
* Omy gasps
<Omy> NO! Say it ain't so slave! rofl
<BernieRoehl> I know that my busy schedule has always been a challenge, Birgg -- finding time for people (even the ones most important to me) isn't always easy, given work and other projects. I'm wondering how other people go about allocating their time.
* oasis{Omy} somehow i knew that would wake Master up lol
<BernieRoehl> (sorry, Brigg not Birgg)
<ElbowFetish> oasis{Omy}: maximizing frustration *is* time management.
<xxendlessdesirexx> timing it right to be with your one, when he is not buisy or when he is home, or knowing before hand perhaps that he is in a bad mood. all those things effect the relationship... and i agree the time away is the toughest tourcher, the waiting, the not knowing, the wishing, the silent insanity that entails longing..
<Omy> I decide what is most important to me Bernie and go with that
<spiced`> any relationship goes thru that Bernie...even nillas with kids, and hockey practice and music lessons and this and that
<jen{SE}> *smiles*, this is an example of time management, getting Sir tucked in bed, so i can spend time on-line
<BernieRoehl> True enough, spiced
<spiced`> lol
<^^ZaR^^> lol
* BernieRoehl smiles at jen{SE} :-)
* xxendlessdesirexx (goes off to spell torture the right way 20 times- reading her Master's mind)
<oasis{Omy}> there are times where life has interfeared.. cancelled plans on meeting.. we worked things out adjusted... but it doesnt mean the time lost wasnt mourned
<Kilted_One> I think the best "Time manager" is life itself......if you lead a normal life then there are all kinds of distractions and r/l vannilla things that have to be taken care off that will automatically level things off
<Brigg> np ... I think, as wioth all things, it comes down to prioritising life .. there are things that will always be there .. and there are tthings that will never be there but for a moment ... where you choose to be when those things take place and what is most important to you .. that is a tough thing at times, but it defines who we are as individuals ... some will say that the good of all inthe company is more important than the few in our
<jen{SE}> agrees with KO
<xxendlessdesirexx> how about timing it in accordance to the lowest phone rate times *looks at her 600+ dollar phone bill..* *groan*
* Kilted_One thinks that xxendlessdesirexx needs a phone plan
<BernieRoehl> Long distance does make it harder, especially with different time zones
<Brigg> extremely hard
<`Ronin-> 600 bucks!?!?!?!?!?!?!
<xxendlessdesirexx> i have one, but they told me that it got activated 2 weeks after i requested it... endless went on a call Master spree prior to the activation of the new plan.... oww... more painful then the insertion of a dry butt plug...
<Brigg> nodding .... yes `Ronin- ... 600
<`Ronin-> Holy christ...learn to use snail mail. LOL!
<Capt_n_suzq> lololol
<Brigg> My fault.
<xxendlessdesirexx> i write Master.
<`Ronin-> Actually, snail mail can be fun if you get creative with it and photos or chores/tasks. The waiting can be fun.
<Omy> Yoy need a phone plan call Bell..they have one where for $30 you get 1800 minutes a month anywhere in Ontario at any time of day
<BernieRoehl> Well, we're just about out of time. Anyone have any last-minute thoughts on balancing D/s with real life?
<xxendlessdesirexx> well i got the 10 cents a minute thing 24/7 just didn't get activated till 2 weeks later, WHICH i wasn't told
<swannie^^> london telecom ......20 dollars unlimited in canada after 6 and weekends
<Brigg> regrettably, Omy, xxendlessdesirexx's Master is in Alberta.
<ElbowFetish> Another balance comes to mind: buying D/s toys. ;-)
<Fyre{j}> for $600 move Him
* Fyre{j} chuckles
<Fyre{j}> sorry Brigg
<xxendlessdesirexx> *grumbles and looks @ her Master*
* BernieRoehl smiles as the conversation drifts from D/s to long distance plans
<^^ZaR^^> wowzer
<`Ronin-> for 600 bucks you could go see him.
<`Ronin-> You have to get creative.
<Brigg> that's fine, Fyre{j} .. and I woudl look at the move were it not for the fact that career demands My placement here.
* Omy_ rubs his butt and sits down again
<xxendlessdesirexx> sorry Bernie
<Fyre{j}> we're a verstile bunch Bernie
<`Ronin-> Being creative is the fun part.
<Kilted_One> when we live such and extreme lifestyle balance is something that "fills in the gaps between parties"
<`Ronin-> Not really Bernie, the long distance bdsm plan is something many have to deal with in the internet age.
<BernieRoehl> True enough, Ronin
<BernieRoehl> Well, on that note, I'm going to close the log.
<`Ronin-> If partners are creative and willing to work through thing then you don't have 600 dollar bills. That kind of $$ can put a strain on relatiosnhips.
<BernieRoehl> Feel free to keep chatting informally, whether it's about whips and chains or Bell and Sprint :-)
<xxendlessdesirexx> lol
<arhiannah> lol
<xxendlessdesirexx> but there are so many good things that can ease even the strain of a large phone bill
<`Ronin-> Creative relationship management can not only save a relationship but enhance it.
<BernieRoehl> I'm leaving channel to process the log -- see you all later!
<Kilted_One> good job BernieRoehl
<oasis{Omy}> bye Bernie huggers :)
<Kemtar> wb abi
<rhiannon{KO}> hi abi..;)
<BernieRoehl> Thanks, KO, oasis! Session Close: Sun Feb 24 22:02:21 2002