February 13 2000 EhBC Online Discussion

<BernieRoehl> It's just about 9 pm... everyone ready for the discussion?
* `slutkat` sits n shuts up
<BernieRoehl> Here's the automatic message I'm setting...
<BernieRoehl> Welcome to our regular Sunday night discussion. Please refrain from sending "hi" and "bye" messages until after 10 pm. Also note that the discussion is being logged. If you wish to say something, but remain anonymous, you should change your nick. We recommend using raptor.ab.ca.dal.net as your server, to minimize lag. Tonight's discussion topic is "Pushing the Right Buttons". The moderator tonight is BernieRoehl. Enjoy the discussion!
* SirLion^w jerks the leash tighter
* Kilted_One nods his head so that Bernie knows that at least I am awake and listening
<shadodancer> me too Bernie
* BernieRoehl smiles
<BernieRoehl> So, welcome everyone!
<BernieRoehl> The topic for tonight is "Pushing the Right Buttons".
* DarkAngel^ forgot about the discusion ,, and bows out ,, going to bed very soon
<BernieRoehl> When the topic was first suggested, the person who proposed it was a Dom, asking what other Doms did to find their submissives' "triggers'.
<SirLion^w> To me little one....pulling her close and listening
* whispurr{SL} lowers her eyes..may a slave please enter Master?
<BernieRoehl> However, I'd like to make it more general than that -- Doms have buttons too, and subs no doubt want to find them and push them.
* `slutkat` chuckles wickedly
<BernieRoehl> No need to ask here, whispurr -- all are welcome.
<shadodancer> definitely :)
<BernieRoehl> So, anyone have any opening thoughts?
<shadodancer> i hate when buttons are pushed to purposely provoke a bad response
<Olehippie> I have a question????.......pushing the right button for what???.....to excite?,piss off,or just to get a response???
<whispurr{SL}> thank You BernieRoehl Sir..soft smile
* SirLion^w nods
<BernieRoehl> The intent was "to excite"
* LrdThomas suggests a start is to ask her what turns her crank.
<Olehippie> ahh
<`slutkat`> and ask HIM what turns HIS crank, vice versa
* SirLion^w smiles
* whispurr{SL} softly enters the room and takes quickly to her knees, crawling before her Master
<shadodancer> communication anyone :)
<Olehippie> or what floats yer twinkie.
* `slutkat` chuckles
<SirLion^w> Can we assume that he or she applies to both and dispense with endless pc
<`slutkat`> how did Hostess git into the discussion??
<joyial> but, if the person has little or no experience...how are they to know 'what turns their crank'??
<Olehippie> I think it calls for understanding of the other person and that only comes from conversation.
<|Karen> It excites me when a Dom approaches me with respect....and as a whole, diverse, human being...
<whispurr{SL}> the slave smiles softly and lowers her eyes to the Masters...greetings to You Sirs...
<`slutkat`> talk it out..then talk some more..then keep talking...
<`slutkat`> continually talking... more will be revealed as time goes on..
<BernieRoehl> Yes, certainly asking is a straightforward approach. However, some submissives I've spoken for feel that makes things too cut-and-dried.
<shadodancer> then experiment
<whispurr{SL}> greetings to the lovely Mistresses
<`slutkat`> better cut and dried than screwing up a good time, i feel
<|Karen> ....not just as a sub
<shadodancer> with care of course
<BernieRoehl> Part of the trip for them is to have the Dom unlock their secrets, their (good) vulnerabilities
<`slutkat`> pft
<`slutkat`> thats coy
<Olehippie> which comes from spending time with the sub
<`slutkat`> games
<SirLion^w> I use trickery, as is a Master's wont, to glean info from the fair slutlet here, by having her regale me with tales of obscene doings
* SirLion^w smiles gently
<LrdThomas> the other way of discovering her buttons, is to check the dampness between her legs as you meander through a littany of erotic conversation. <smirk>
* `slutkat` lafffs
<Olehippie> I was with my wife /sub for over two years before we became intimiate......
<SirLion^w> She inevitably points me to those things upper most on her naughty mind
<shadodancer> good theory LrdThomas :)
* BernieRoehl likes LT's approach
* ^firerunner^ giggles
* `vixie likes LT's theory :)
* Kilted_One spanks vixen{KO} with a @! *fwap*
<`slutkat`> everybody votes for LT for president
* BernieRoehl smiles
<SirLion^w> hehehe
* SirLion^w shakes his head
* `abi abstains from voting
<shadodancer> think that almost beats the cage of last week LrdThomas :)
<Olehippie> ahh....thats nice Lt....but it sounds a little rude
* `slutkat` looks at slut^hubby ... c a g e
<SirLion^w> THe ruder the better
* SirLion^w grins
* Kilted_One wonders what abistained?
<`slutkat`> works for me Olehippie..wanna try it out??
<Olehippie> I disagree SirLion
<whispurr{SL}> if a slave may say..tis an unusual delemma..what presses her buttons? for it would seem that the Master only breathing would be enough to do so..soft smile
<LrdThomas> i like being a little risque OH.... call it a quirk. :))
* vixen{KO} knows that the most powerful buttons are those of the mind
* `slutkat` guffaws
* SirLion^w nods
* `vixie nods, very true vixen
<Olehippie> there is risque and there is respect.......
<shadodancer> ruse is not nice......i would inagine LrdThomas would at least be on a first name basis with the sub in question
<shadodancer> ruse=rude
<`slutkat`> ergo, last week's discussion... the mindfuck...
* cybersweet agrees with vixen.
<`slutkat`> or at least a first NICK name basis... ;-)
<^firerunner^> i have a button then can be pushed..and anyone that knows it knows even the thought of being touched there..cuase me to shiver..that alone is erotic to me...
* vixen{KO} missed last week....forgive this girl
<BernieRoehl> Certainly, checking the dampness of someone you've just met is... well, a bit forward.
<SirLion^w> The thing is? Her fantasies get hottest when she's enjoying them too, so I'm able to find directions, things that I know push her buttons...though itsa merely one way to control, there are others
<LrdThomas> shado, i would own her <or damm close to owning her> before i went to the extent of groping her. <g>
<shadodancer> thought so LrdThomas :)
<`slutkat`> Bernie..depends what went on before the first meeting...
<Olehippie> well...I am new here....but shado knows me rl.....and I hope she understands where Im comin from
* `vixie smiles to ^firerunner^, i think we all have those kinds of buttons sis :)
<shadodancer> i do hippie :)
* BernieRoehl smiles "good point, slutkat"
<^firerunner^> ~wink~
* `slutkat` isnt named *slut* for nothing yanno
<SirLion^w> I like to have the scamp helpless and enduring assorted torments under close scrutiny as well, and its simple to see what makes her breath funny then
<|Karen> what pushes your buttons, Bernie?
<BernieRoehl> So, aside from conversation and dampness checks, what else can be done to discover a submissive's (or Dom's) "buttons"?
<shadodancer> experiment
<BernieRoehl> It's a long list, Karen. I'll put it on my website someday, when I have time. :-)
<LrdThomas> ya know... there is a little thing called experimentation.... that can be a wonderfully fun thing to do.... and experimenting with her mind and body, will unveil triggers.
<whispurr{SL}> gosh just look into her eyes, no?
<`vixie> how about keeping a fantasy diary BernieRoehl?
* SirLion^w nods agreement
<BernieRoehl> I like that idea, vixie.
<`slutkat`> Dom Assignments.. what a novel idea
<SirLion^w> heheh, that's not pushing buttons, that's mesmerizing, a tad different
* SirLion^w smiles and gathers his ladies leash a tad closer, to better admire her eyes
* |Karen smiles 'try speaking just one or two....maybe will give people an idea of how to find them in Doms..'
<BernieRoehl> With a new submissive, I'll sometimes assign a task of writing fantasies. I tell her it's to entertain and please me, but it's more than that -- it gives me insight into what *she* finds arousing.
<`slutkat`> ah ha
* `vixie nods
<shadodancer> experimentation is good for those not always able to verbalize things
<`vixie> it's a wonderful tool BernieRoehl
* `slutkat` knows what Bernie is now responsible for....
* BernieRoehl smiles
* whispurr{SL} nods to vixie..Master always wishes for me to write Him a fantasy..and then He uses it against, er to excite this slave...
* |Karen thinks... 'there's always that checklist thingy'
* SirLion^w laughs
<shadodancer> what is this hangup with writing things....
<SirLion^w> Guilty
* SirLion^w nods
<SirLion^w> Humbly proud
<`vixie> there's a difference between the checklist and a diary Karen
<`slutkat`> or the 500=question-perv list
* SirLion^w grins
<|Karen> Bernie knows how to use that checklist thingy in a fun way :)
<BernieRoehl> Some submissives also find it easier to write things out than to say them face-to-face.
<whispurr{SL}> He also asks what my fears are...nod
<`slutkat`> ah..but there are ways to make em talk
<SirLion^w> Ah yes, the red cheeked syndrome
* shadodancer finds writing the worst punishement imaginable
<BernieRoehl> (Of course, then I'll have her read them aloud to me, but that's just because I like to see her sweat) :-)
<whispurr{SL}> and then He addresses them..soft smile
* SirLion^w likes cheeks red as a matter of course
* vixen{KO} grabs the pencil from behind shado's ear and scribbles some notes.
* ^firerunner^ would blush not sweat lol
* sweetslave{AF} blushes and starts to sweat
* `vixie finds it that way too shado, but it can be a very useful tool if you can't verbalize
<shadodancer> not with me vix
<`slutkat`> i luv to write
<LrdThomas> play with the little treasure... experiment, be devillish, explore, ask, try... be dominant.... you'll be amazed what she will reveal.
<`slutkat`> the more the better
<shadodancer> with me writing causes extreme emotion...bad stuff
<whispurr{SL}> how are you lovely vixie?
<`slutkat`> how about talking into a tape recorder?
<^firerunner^> writing is a good idea
<joyial> some times writing is good for those of us who have trouble puting thoughts into words...gives time to think
<`slutkat`> if you cant talk outright face to face?
* `vixie hates hearing her own voice!
<`slutkat`> lol
<shadodancer> think it all depends on the sub then
* `slutkat` suggests that vixie whisper then
* `vixie whispers to whispurr{SL} i'm sick sis :(
* vixen{KO} ^5's sluttikat for the tape recorder idea
<`vixie> lol kat
* `slutkat` grins
<shadodancer> again back to communication
<`vixie> yes shado, i think it does depend on the sub, and what is best in each situation
<BernieRoehl> Another approach I've used is to ask a submissive to read an erotic novel with D/s themes, and write a "book report" about the passages she found... interesting.
<`slutkat`> mmm
* SirLion^w blinks
<`vixie> sounds too much like school to me BernieRoehl, lol
* `slutkat` makes note of that idea... figuring it is coming next...
<BernieRoehl> Yes, it's about communication -- but in indirect ways, that make it easier for the submissive
<shadodancer> does she choose the novel or do you Bernie?
<BernieRoehl> Ah, you've discovered one of *my* buttons, vixie :-)
* SirLion^w crayons BernieRoehl's idea into whispurr's Why I'm Gonna Get It and LIKE It book
* `vixie smiles
<BernieRoehl> See how easy it is? :-)
<`slutkat`> Bernie likes playing school?
<`slutkat`> okay..now THAT is sick...sorry..
* `slutkat` smirks
* `vixie pokes kat
<`slutkat`> eh
* whispurr{SL} almost always likes it Master..kinda, sorta...grin
<`slutkat`> no pokey da kat
<BernieRoehl> I'll ask if she has any favorites (I find most submissives do), if not I'll assign one.
* SirLion^w grins
* `vixie whistles innocently and goes back to the discussion
* `slutkat` watches bruise come up
<Flashback__Max> An old fashioned game of 20 questions is always fun to play with new friends.
<`slutkat`> dangnabitall woman
<shadodancer> ok...then if you choose one would that not be pushing your preferences onto the sub
* BernieRoehl smiles at vixie
<BernieRoehl> Not if the novel has enough diversity in it. The "Beauty" trilogy has a variety of things in it, for example.
<SirLion^w> Nice trick too, get the poor thing all hot and bothered and then stop everything and order her to explain exactly what she needs right then, to get hotter
<`vixie> a compromise could be arranged shado, one the Dom picks, and one the sub picks...maybe each doing a book report
<shadodancer> true
<|Karen> dating. ordinary, everyday dating.....gets people to know each other better....and with careful observation...find each other's buttons..
<BernieRoehl> But enough about what *I* do... let's hear what others do to find what gets their partner going
<`slutkat`> dating..novel idea..
* joyial didn't like 'beauty'...couldn't get passed the first 2 chapters
<vixen{KO}> hmmmm....methinks perhaps not all buttons are good ones...no?
<LrdThomas> of course there is the other school of thought that is fun too... not giving a rats ass what turns her crank for a weekend. Just taking what you want. <weg>
* `slutkat` luved beauty 1&2
* Kilted_One thiks he is dated enough...running out of carbon
<`vixie> that's very true vixen
<shadodancer> another good theory....lol
* sweetslave{AF} loved #2
* joyial was completely repulsed by the book
<`slutkat`> thats fine joyial.. to each their own.... ;-))
<BernieRoehl> Yes, LT -- and sometimes doing that is *exactly* what turns her crank
* joyial nods...yep
<BernieRoehl> Yes, vixen -- not all buttons are good, and finding the bad ones is important so that you don't stumble across them later.
* ^firerunner^ thinks LrdThomas idea is wonderful!!!! lol
<shadodancer> very true and not purposely pushing the bad ones either
* sweetslave{AF} nods and agree's
<BernieRoehl> Most subs I know are *much* more up-front about what the bad buttons are than the good ones
<vixen{KO}> and also those that exist--how to deal with them if they do get triggered later on
<whispurr{SL}> and You know what LrdThomas Sir..that in itself should excite and turn the submissive on ..for pleasing the Master should always make a submissive hot..smile
* `slutkat` is more upfront what the good ones are than the bad... not a lot of bad ones i guess..
<BernieRoehl> That's a point worth repeating, whispurr -- one things that turns me on is knowing that my submissive is aroused. Her passion fuels mine.
<joyial> really, whispurr{SL}? is that a generally accepted thought? i'm curious here
* `vixie thinks we've found button #2 for BernieRoehl ;)
<`slutkat`> proly the way with most Dom, wudnt you think Bernie?
<BernieRoehl> True, vixie!
<BernieRoehl> Try to collect the whole set... :-)
<SirLion^w> Course, the point was how to find the buttons, but in truth, if the act of finding them is fuel enough, then to just take what you want is good too, and hopefully, the taking feeds her
<elegantsarah{DEM}> I think that in any relationship, pushing each other's buttons is the biggest turn on
* `vixie writes these down for future reference ;)
* whispurr{SL} nods softly..and if she is turning You on..this one feels that that will in itself excite her....
* BernieRoehl smiles at vixie
<BernieRoehl> Yes, the giving and receiving of pleasure and passion is very much a two-way street
* vixen{KO} thinks that buttons are like an archealogical dig....if you spend more & more time and dig deep enough with enough care -- you'll discover many treasures worth the adventure
<whispurr{SL}> tis a two sided thing and i truly believe that when O/one knows the O/other is hot in this lifestyle anyway it would be the key for the O/other to be so aroused by that...
<`vixie> *very* true vixen{KO}
<SirLion^w> Being a submissive isn't just about a sex rape, its also about honouring your Masters needs and finding food in the honouring
<SirLion^w> Just as by being Master, I am expected to lead in these matters, and to be strong enough to deal with whatever comes up as a result
<SirLion^w> There's always negative triggeres to be wary off here as well
<whispurr{SL}> i feel the real basic thing in the lifestyle is that W/we are here becasue W/we get turned on by either controlling or submitting to A/another...
<elegantsarah{DEM}> I agree with vixen.....a few buttons have been discovered that I didn't even know I had
<BernieRoehl> So far, we've talked a lot about the importance of communication, and differetn ways of enabling submissives to communicate things that are sometimes difficult to talk about.
<SirLion^w> Many have unpleasant remembrances, phobias, fears, and sometimes, they can be triggered by the intense nature of the doings
* whispurr{SL} thinks that is the biggest button...
* vixen{KO} highfives elegantsarah{DEM} with white-gloved hand
<BernieRoehl> That works for experienced submissives, who know what their needs are and are comfortable communicating them.
* Kilted_One dusts his archealogical tools off and preps for a long digging
<shadodancer> who says experience means that Bernie
<BernieRoehl> What about novice subs, who are still exploring and discovering? They may not even *know* all their own buttons yet.
* `vixie chuckles thinking of a man in a kilt digging
<elegantsarah{DEM}> good plan KO
* `vixie doesn't know many of hers...still too new at this
<BernieRoehl> (Good point, shadodancer)
* |Karen didn't have any unpleasant memories, etc. until _after_ she'd been in the Scene awhile...
<SirLion^w> Is this channel open to guest nicks, I ask for age related resons?
* sweetslave{AF} is certain to have a few buttons yet to be tapped into ;)
<LrdThomas> Bernie, the newbies that don't know their buttons, get filed under "fresh meat". <g>
<`slutkat`> ROFLMAO
<SirLion^w> Guest17178, have you no nick to call your own?
* BernieRoehl smiles at LT
<Guest17178> bye
* `vixie finds a convient place to hide so she won't get labelled as 'fresh meat'
<shadodancer> SirLion^w.....some wish to remain invisible since the chat is logged
* joyial signs up under the "relatively fresh meat" categori lole
<whispurr{SL}> tis so important for any new submissive to go slow..to learn why she is here..to know the kind of Master she wishes and to explore her needs first..
<SirLion^w> shadodancer, some wish to remain undera ge in the doing
<elegantsarah{DEM}> It seems to me that buttons change all the time and that things that one day may not set me off, on another can send me over the edge totally......and I love that variance of feeling.....don't want my buttons always pushed in the same order
* SirLion^w smiles gently
<BernieRoehl> Yes, but unfortunately a lot of them rush headlong into things before they're ready. They're in such a hurry to do it all.
<shadodancer> that is possible even with a nick SirLion^w
<SirLion^w> Less obvious though, no?
<northernmiss> eaxctly elegantsarah{DEM}
<shadodancer> no
<SirLion^w> At any rate, not my channel, I apologise if I've overstepped bounds
* vixen{KO} sticks out her @ a bit further
<NITESLIDER> hello A/all
<SirLion^w> These things are terribly dangerous in the wrong hands
<LrdThomas> good stuff sarah... without variety.... are we nilla? <wink>
* `slutkat` looks at the sticking-out-@ of vixen's
<`slutkat`> showoff
<vixen{KO}> pffft
<BernieRoehl> So, what are some ways to help a brand-new submissive explore and find their buttons?
* Kilted_One goes to press the lil @ that vixen has ....;)
<|Karen> SirLoin, the ops here are quite capable. leave them to do their work please.
<shadodancer> by exploring and experimenting Bernie
<`vixie> how shado?
* whispurr{SL} nods softly...oh yes Sir..many of learned the hardway..but that in itself is a growth...still a little unsure of the discussion though...and i still feel that most of us are turned on first for being submissive..soft smile
* whispurr{SL} looks softly to the lovely Karen...tis SirLion Ma'am..soft smile
<SirLion^w> I've heard of poped joints, broken blood vessels, hospitalized subs after a messed up caning...Things kids won't think of
<shadodancer> find a person one trusts and try things.....i seem to remember doing a little of that myself at new years
* SirLion^w shrugs
<SirLion^w> I err on the side of safety
* SirLion^w smiles
<BernieRoehl> That's always a good idea, SirLion
<SirLion^w> With Mastery, comes responsibility
* SirLion^w nods
<|Karen> my apologies...SirLion, that is. and btw, I'm not a Ma'am.
* BernieRoehl looks around the room, notices a number of subs who have been at this a while...
<shadodancer> does that make us OLD Bernie :)
<BernieRoehl> A question for the submissives here... how did *you* first discover what works for you in-scene?
<SirLion^w> The act of writing is another variant of puppet play , taking dolls and talking through them often frees shy ones into truer communications
<vixen{KO}> "Ooops" is not a Dom's safe word a sub wants to hear
* BernieRoehl smiles at shadodancer
<`vixie> very, very very true vixen{KO}
<elegantsarah{DEM}> Without wanting to sound too impatient, it seems to me that being a good lover is not that different in the D/s world than in the vanilla one. What one does may differ but reading one's partner is very much the same. If as both a sub and a Dom, we pay attention to the body language, breathing, movement of our partners, we should be ablke to tell if we are turning the other on
<SirLion^w> Noted |Karen, sure hope I don't offend, never my intent, ever
* SirLion^w smiles gently
<|Karen> I spent a long time in a MUSH, getting a whiff of what I wanted in cyberspace....
<shadodancer> very true sarah
<SirLion^w> What's a mush?
* whispurr{SL} nods in agreement to lovely elegantsarah...
<|Karen> then I went to a munch, and met a Dom who's really good with newcomers....was very gentle in exploration
<`lucius> My fantasies compel me to try things. But I never know the reality of them until they are actualy experienced
<SirLion^w> elegantsarah{DEM}, zackly, its all about controlled sensualism
<shadodancer> very true `lucius......sometimes fantasy is better
<|Karen> a MUSH is kinda like IRC but with limited access and context....online objects, rooms, settings, etc.
<vixen{KO}> very true elegantsarah{DEM}....a relationship is a relationship is a relationship...when it comes to buttons and how to get to them
* shadodancer bows to vixen{KO}
<BernieRoehl> A mush is another form of online chat
<SirLion^w> Hmm, tis a first to me then
* SirLion^w nods
<SirLion^w> Thanks
<`lucius> Well, I know from some experience, that certain things are simply not possible in reality. Allowances, and modifications often need to be made.
<vixen{KO}> true
<shadodancer> and sometimes the reality does not meet the fantasy
<`lucius> Expectations and fantasy...are two things that do not go well together.
<|Karen> that first Dom, from the munch....we exchanged checklists...and then he blindfolded me while he read the highlights of the checklists and watched my reactions :)
<vixen{KO}> that's called experience shado sis
<SirLion^w> I've heard from subs who tell of men claiming Mastery and yet being unable to do it come real time, some sense of `Don't be rude or hit ladies' comes up
<BernieRoehl> And of course, if someone has a rich, detailed and very specific fantasy, it's hard for the reality to live up to it. Sort of like reading a great book, and then seeing the movie.
<shadodancer> well you is older vixen{KO} :)
<`slutkat`> lol
* LrdThomas just executes the kidnap fantasy, and to hell with the theory. <g>
* vixen{KO} stuffs her @ in shado's mouf
<SirLion^w> Not just that, it takes so long to set up some scenes, ropes and positions and such
<laced^beauty```> that has happened to me SirLion..on numerous occasions in real
* shadodancer cracks up
<`lucius> with a good partner tho', you can create a reality that outshines the wildest fantasies.
* shadodancer takes a number from LrdThomas
<elegantsarah{DEM}> one way that some of my buttons have been discovered is by having my partner talk about different scening ideas while we're cuddling or engaged in different play....I can assure you that it is not hard to tell the ones that appeal :)
<`slutkat`> wow..somebody who can stuff shado's mouth eh??? ^5 vixen
* BernieRoehl nods in agreement with lucius
* laced^beauty``` looks ...they claim they are Masters..and have no idea what they are in reality doing..and if I had been new to the scene..it could have been dangerous and not only on a sexual level
<vixen{KO}> another good way to find out buttons (without writing or checklist and 20 questions) may be for the two people involved to sit together in a comfy, cozy area and scan a few good fetbooks...pictures are amazing catalysts
<shadodancer> everyone is responsible for their own safety and gut feeling are usually true ones
<|Karen> another Dom I've been with noticed that I'd sort of half way come up with ideas in the course of conversation and then censor myself when I realized he'd eventually use it against me so he told me that I always had to finish whatever thought I started :)
<LrdThomas> so, all this talk of discussing her buttons... let me ask.... who controls the play then? Why not just experiment, learn, teach and have a whole mess of fun while growing stronger together.
* whispurr{SL} nods softly to LrdThomas
<shadodancer> novel concept LrdThomas
<`lucius> There's something to be said for carefull arrangement of scene. But sometimes, total spontineaty on the part of the Dom is wonderfull too.
<elegantsarah{DEM}> I don't think it's an either/or situation LrdThomas
<LrdThomas> i have little interest in a slave telling me what turns her crank.... i'm far more interested in discovering it myself. <g>
<SirLion^w> I suggest that EYE am my slaves limits, and she is mine...so I expect everything from her, but know she can't always do it, and so watch to prevent from asking too much
<|Karen> hmmmm....LT....that reminds me of another great Dom I knew...
<`slutkat`> where is the *Great Dom* list?
<vixen{KO}> don't exist
<`slutkat`> cuz there are none?
* `lucius gets out his black book
* SirLion^w grins
<vixen{KO}> nobody either Dom or sub are Great....or perfect....that's why we need to find out each other's buttons to figure out compatability
<SirLion^w> Cuz THIS one's taken
* SirLion^w laughs
* SirLion^w nods...er..humbly
<|Karen> all my Doms have been great. :) Exactly what I needed at the time, and I learned bunches about myself in the process.
<whispurr{SL}> Dominant-the One in charge...grin...submissive-the one that is there first to give...when she or he does so without the need to get something back and without having a hidden agenda, the submissive gets all her buttons pushed...
* SirLion^w rests an arm on his slaves shoulder, admiring her charms, and her sense
<|Karen> even the one I think of as a jerk was great...'cause I learned bunches from him about what turns me on, what I want, what I don't want....who I am
<SirLion^w> You're jjust saying that so I'll spank
* SirLion^w grins
* SirLion^w nods
* whispurr{SL} smiles to Him
<elegantsarah{DEM}> I agree with Karen.....one can learn from the great and less than great....even if it's only to learn what you don't want
<|Karen> I remain incrediably grateful to every Dom I've had.
<SirLion^w> This lifestyle is good for exposing one, it's not aplace to hide, most I've found tend to enjoy being a bit more real and upfront
<BernieRoehl> So what do we have so far? We know that some people like straightforward communication and talking, others like the process of gradual discovery.
* elegantsarah{DEM} is not sure that gratitude comes to mind with all of hers
<SirLion^w> Another way to find buttons as a result, they're often offered free
* SirLion^w grins
<BernieRoehl> We know there are lots of ways (fantasy writing, book reports, visual erotica, and the ever-popular "dampness test") to gauge reactions to various things.
* SirLion^w votes for the test
* SirLion^w nods
* whispurr{SL} truly feels once the submissive has an agenda it falls into vanilla mode..for then games are played..i give this for that..then there is no submissive and really no Dominant..just two people looking for buttons and not finding them anymore
<Flashback__Max> When I was younger, I used to hook my girlfriends to a bio feedback unit and interrogate them. very fun.
<SirLion^w> Ooo!
* SirLion^w loves shockers
* SirLion^w nods
* SirLion^w grins
<vixen{KO}> hmmmm.....discovering lifestyle buttons is the adventure.....the adventure is discovering lifestyle buttons....either way it works for me
* elegantsarah{DEM} thinks it's unrealistic to expect people to be all Dominant or all submissive
<SirLion^w> Ve haff veys...
* BernieRoehl smiles
* `lucius jumps from one side to the other.
* BernieRoehl chuckles
* vixen{KO} lowers the limbo bar for `lucius and smirks
<`lucius> I truly enjoy playing both sides.
<`slutkat`> lol
<SirLion^w> I'm a wuss...hate pain
* SirLion^w nods
* SirLion^w shrugs
<BernieRoehl> Then more power to you, lucius. Not a lot of switches around, and I know I could never do it.
<elegantsarah{DEM}> not all submissives like pain either SirLion^w
<elegantsarah{DEM}> :)
<BernieRoehl> So you're used to having your buttons pushed, and to pushing them in others, lucius. Any insights?
<LrdThomas> i switch!.... arms! 2 hours of swinging leather makes it a might tired. :)
<vixen{KO}> Flashback....a bio feedback unit?
<`lucius> well, the whole "pet" thing is pretty different from a "sub" or "slave" headspace.
<SirLion^w> I like being the one relaxing with the pina collada watching my slave sweating through another agonized forced cum as she hangs from the wall...but that's just me
<Flashback_Max> Vixen: From Radio Shack. You can use it as a lie detector.
* ^firerunner^ smiles
<vixen{KO}> rutroh
<vixen{KO}> thanks
<elegantsarah{DEM}> I'll take the slave's role in that scenario SirLoin :)
* SirLion^w hauls the scamp closer and lays a soft one, rightonamouf
<Calentra> how so lucius?
<SirLion^w> How much and what's it called?
<`lucius> Well, in a sense...it's not really me, but a seperate part of myself.
<SirLion^w> Not that I care....racing for my shack cataolg
<vixen{KO}> b b b but.........a slave never lies tho, right?
* SirLion^w grins
<`lucius> That part is capable of things that the other part is not.
* BernieRoehl takes notes of the biofeedback idea... "Do you like to be paddled?" "No, Sir" *beeeeeeep* !
<Calentra> which?
<Flashback_Max> Bio Feedback Unit. Dunno, cost me $30 when I was a teenager. Consult RS Catalogue, milage may vary.
* SirLion^w nods
<SirLion^w> Thanks
<SirLion^w> hehehehehe
<Flashback_Max> If not available, you can find plans on the net and build one.
<SirLion^w> Of course you don't vixen{KO}, everyone knows that...hehehehehe
<SirLion^w> As if
* SirLion^w grins
* vixen{KO} blushes and lowers her eyes
* BernieRoehl wonders if it could be hooked up to a TENS unit, to condition a submissive to always be truthful :-)
<vixen{KO}> hmmm....but some of us like Eplay....
* SirLion^w reconsiders the robotic dildo insertion device in lieu of recent knowledge acquired.....hmmm, a probe that measures passion....
* vixen{KO} smirks slyly
* BernieRoehl smiles at vixen
* elegantsarah{DEM} thinks that Bernie might want to think about whether he really wants an ever truthful sub :)
* SirLion^w blinks
<Flashback_Max> You can hook anything to anything if you have the right OS onyour computer. I've seen TENS activated by telnet users before. See also Teledildonics.
<`lucius> I can sub for the _right_ person...but not just anyone. They have to earn it....or something like that.
<BernieRoehl> It's like that old saying...
<BernieRoehl> "be careful what you wish for!" :-)
* SirLion^w considers warts with sensors
* SirLion^w grins
<vixen{KO}> LOL
<BernieRoehl> So we've gone from pushing buttons on submissives, to pushing buttons on devices from Radio Shack.
<sweetslave{AF}> yep...cause you always get it!
* `lucius has a schmatic for a modified pager that could be used for remote stimulation.
<vixen{KO}> gotta love all these new buzzwords.....Teledildonics....gotta love it
<BernieRoehl> Well, whatever works I guess :-)
<Flashback_Max> I want credit for the idea whenever applied. 8 ;]
<|Karen> did we ever get around to pushing buttons on Doms?
<BernieRoehl> We seem to be drifting a bit off-topic, but since we've only got five minutes left in the discussion that may not be a bad thing.
<BernieRoehl> Anyone have any closing thoughts?
* vixen{KO} curtsies to Flashback_Max
<Flashback_Max> Teledildonics is nota buzzword, it is a commercial sex product.
<`lucius> actualy, that's what I'd like to know...what does push a Dom's buttons?
<shadodancer> Dom's button is between his legs isn't it?
<elegantsarah{DEM}> lol
* sweetslave{AF} grins
* vixen{KO} winks
* joyial blushes
<`slutkat`> lol
<vixen{KO}> nah.....that's their....bra**.....oh, never mind
<`slutkat`> werks fer me slut^hubby
<Kilted_One> dats his balls shado.....da button is above the cock in the middle of da belly
<SirLion^w> If buttons be likes and dislikes, then close communication and honest no hiding reactions will do it every time
<Fairhand> between His ears shado
<SirLion^w> Brutal honesty and no damamge, our rules
<`lucius> I know that I like to hear how well I'm doing. I like a sub that reacts. Vocaly, and physicaly.
<shadodancer> no wonder i keep missing it :(
<whispurr{SL}> the buttons have always been in the brain..
<LrdThomas> sheesg shado... men have dumbsticks... women have buttons. <g>
* SirLion^w smiles at the lady he touches
<shadodancer> see..i'm soooooooooo confused !!!
<`slutkat`> dumb being the operative word there....
<SirLion^w> I thought it was a joy stick
* SirLion^w blinks
<vixen{KO}> feedback is important yes
* Fairhand smiles to shadodancer
<Kilted_One> biofeeback??
<SirLion^w> SCream
* SirLion^w nods to Kilted_One
* SirLion^w smiles
<whispurr{SL}> i have always thought that the lifestyle embraced the more brave person who is not afraid to feel....
<SirLion^w> Or Hrmphh!! if she's gagged
* SirLion^w nods
<vixen{KO}> woohoo.....that's it in a nutshell
* SirLion^w grins
<BernieRoehl> Well, I'm going to close off the log for tonight's discussion. As always, feel free to keep on chatting informally.
<BernieRoehl> Thanks to everyone for participating!
<vixen{KO}> and has the guts to go for it
<shadodancer> thanks Bernie :)
<LrdThomas> thanks Bernie. :))
<Kilted_One> ty Bernie
<whispurr{SL}> thank You Sir...
<|Karen> good night all. :) thank you for moderating, Bernie :)
* whispurr{SL} nods to vixen
<elegantsarah{DEM}> tks Bernie
* `lucius tips an ear in thanx
<SirLion^w> Thanks for moderating Sir, good job
<Fairhand> Thankyou Bernie
* SirLion^w nods
<BernieRoehl> My pleasure!
<BernieRoehl> I'm going to head offline briefly, and get the log processed and uploaded. See you all later!
<SirLion^w> Later Sir
<whispurr{SL}> good night to You BernieRoehl..tas been a pleasure