BDSM “Big Events”
By Bernie Roehl
(copyright © 2001, released under a Creative Commons License)
In the early days of the North American BDSM community, events were small. And by small, I mean really small – a dozen or so people gathered in the back room of a bar after hours, or in someone’s barn or basement. They were invitation-only, and were held on an irregular basis.
Things have changed. Most large cities now have some sort of regular fetish night or scheduled play party, with many drawing 50 to 100 or more people out for an evening of fun. They’re a great opportunity to play on some new equipment, watch other peoples’ styles, and even organize scenes involving more than just two people.
The next step in the evolution of BDSM events is now taking place. Over the past five or six years, a number of groups and organizations have set up large-scale BDSM conventions that run for an entire weekend. In this article we’re going to look at what you can expect to find at these events, and take a closer look at some of the larger ones.
In or Out?
The vast majority of these events are held at hotels and conference centers. Not unlike a science fiction convention (or indeed, any other kind of convention), these events offer such amenities as workshops, a vendors area, and a well-equipped dungeon.
A second type of event, which is growing in popularity, is a BDSM “camping weekend”. Since these events are held outdoors, they have a number of advantages --- privacy, fewer rules and restrictions, and lower cost of accommodations. People typically bring their own tents and sleeping bags, and share the great outdoors with other kinky folk.
Yet a third variation on the theme is an outdoor “street party”. The best example of this is the Folsom Street Fair (see sidebar).
The vendor rooms at most major BDSM conventions typically have anywhere from ten to thirty individual vendors. Each vendor has a booth, with some vendors renting more than one in order to show off all their wares. From crops and paddles to claws and cuffs, the vendor area is a great place to pick up items that you might not find anywhere else.
Note that more vendors is not necessarily better than fewer vendors. What’s really important is the variety – some merchants might sell leather corsets, while others might specialize in erotic BDSM literature, and still others would offer various kinds of floggers, paddles, crops and restraints.
Most large BDSM conventions draw from the same relatively small set of national or international vendors, supplemented by local artisans and craftspeople who have booths at which they peddle (or paddle?) their wares.
The second component of any big BDSM event is the workshop program. In a weekend event, workshops typically run all Saturday and all day Sunday, covering a wide range of different topics. Larger conferences will often have two or three different workshops going on simultaneously in different rooms, so that people can pick and choose which ones to attend. In some cases they’re organized into “tracks”, with a different theme for each, such as “Relationships” or “Basic Skills”.
For example, the annual Black Rose convention (one of the largest indoor BDSM events in the world, held outside of Washington DC) typically has over a hundred workshops. Topics include such things as “Erotic Humiliation”, “Rope Bondage Basics”, “Whip Cracking 201”, and “The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting”.
The workshops serve several purposes. First and foremost, they’re a way for people who are new to the scene to acquire some basic knowledge. Second, they provide more experienced people an opportunity to pick up some new skills. And third, they’re a chance for people with specialized knowledge to pass it along to others.
The big draw for any BDSM event is, of course, the parties. Every weekend-long event has play parties on both the Friday and Saturday nights, and some even add an “afterglow” party on the Sunday for those attendees who find that two nights in a row just isn’t enough.
The dungeon space for these events offers a wide variety of different pieces of bondage equipment, usually contributed by members of the local BDSM community. While spanking benches and St. Andrews crosses tend to be the most common pieces, there are almost always a few surprises thrown into the mix as well. Some of the more unique pieces draw quite a crowd, and it’s not unusual to find people waiting in line to use them. Fortunately, the parties start early and run late, so there’s usually ample time in which to play.
The bigger events will have numerous Dungeon Monitors on duty at any given time, working in shifts to cover the entire playspace for the whole evening. Like everyone else who organizes these events, the DM’s are volunteers who are putting in long hours to help make the event a success.
Beyond the parties and workshops and vendors, there are often a number of other festivities to fill out the weekend. Among the most popular is a “Dom/sub auction”, where both submissives and Dominants put themselves up on the block to be auctioned off. Whoever “buys” them then negotiates a scene (or two, or three) with their purchaser. They’re a good way for people to meet potential play-partners, and since everything is negotiated and supervised, there’s a good margin of safety involved.
Another popular entertainment piece is a “Horse Show”, in which people who are into pony play get to strut their stuff in front of admiring crowd. There are also kennels set up for those into puppy play, and sometimes classrooms for those who are into schoolroom scenarios.
One recent addition to the entertainment roster is the BDSM trivia contest, usually organized as a game show. A good example is the “Leather Family Feud” at Black Rose.
Of course, the reason most people go to these events has little to do with the vendors, or the workshops, or the parties, or event the entertainment. People go to big BDSM events as a way of getting away from their everyday lives for a while, and immersing themselves in the lifestyle. That “total immersion” is invigorating. There’s a real sense of community that comes from being able to walk down the halls of a hotel, and know that everyone you see is just as kinky as you are!
There’s also the opportunity to meet people from far and wide, and talk to them about their experiences in the scene. Simply listening to what others have done is inspiring, and a great source of ideas. And needless to say, it’s also a perfect opportunity to meet new play partners. Many people who attend these events are looking for some variety, and some new experiences. Playing with someone new is always exciting and fun, and big BDSM events are a good place to do that.
Nothing good comes without a price, of course. Since these events are more “high-profile” than conventional play parties or fetish nights, they have become a target for the religious right, particularly in the United States. Groups such as “The Concerned Women for America” are engaging in misleading letter-writing campaigns in an attempt to convince hotels not to book fetish events. While some hotels did cave in initially, most are now standing by their bookings. Still, it’s an ongoing struggle that’s far from over.
With so much to see and do at one of these weekend-long events, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. This is especially true for people who are attending such an event for the first time. There’s so much to see, so much to do, and so many opportunities, that it’s often hard to know where to begin.
The best advice I can give is to pace yourself. Don’t feel you have to go rushing from workshop to workshop, trying to catch a little bit of everything. Accept that you can’t do it all, set your priorities, and then follow them. If you’re there with a friend or play-partner, don’t feel you have to be joined at the hip for the whole weekend. For example, you can each go to the workshops that interest you the most. At the end of the day, you can compare notes and fill each other in on what you missed.
Pacing yourself is also important when it comes to the vendors area. Don’t walk away with two big armfuls of toys on your very first day! Take the time to look around, compare prices, and decide what pieces you really want to get. Most vendors are well-stocked, and if they do run out of a particular item, they’ll almost always be happy to do mail order.
And of course, you also need to pace yourself when it comes to parties. The most recent event I attended actually began on a Thursday night, and ran through Sunday. That’s four nights of partying, and it would have been very easy to get burned out. The key is to take little breaks, relax, and just soak up the atmosphere. Be sure to get a good night’s sleep on the first night or two, or you’ll end up falling dozing off at the workshops on the third day! Slowing down a bit does take some will power, but it pays off in many additional hours of chatting and play.
See You There!
Now that you know what these events are like and what to expect, all you have to do is decide which ones to attend. And if you happen to see me at any of them, feel free to come up and say hi!
A complete list of all the events that are held throughout the year would fill several pages of this magazine. I’ve therefore had to narrow down the list a bit, to focus more attention on a smaller number of events.
This list is somewhat arbitrary. In general I’ve selected larger events over smaller ones, and I’ve also tended to focus on events that I’ve either attended personally or that I’ve heard good things about from friends who have attended them in the past.
What I find interesting is that all of the events now have their own websites. That’s quite a change from the old days, when only word of mouth was used to publicize BDSM events!
Black Rose (www.br.org)
The annual Black Rose event is one of the largest and best-established BDSM events in North America. Now entering its seventh year, the event features over a hundred workshops, three nights of parties, a large vendors area, and lots of fun entertainment activities. I’ve personally attended this event for the past four years, and I definitely plan to attend again.
The event is held in Maryland, just outside of Washington DC, every November. I recommend booking early.
Vicious Valentine (www.leatherquest.com)
Vicious Valentine is the largest pan-sexual BDSM event in the Chicago area. While not as large as Black Rose, it’s still an enjoyable event with very diverse programming. I attended it a few years ago, and despite some travel difficulties (bad weather combined with flying Northwest Airlines) had a great time.
As the name suggests, the event is held on the Valentine’s Day weekend every year.
Lupercalia (www.lupercalia-edmonton.com)
Held in Edmonton, Alberta, Lupercalia is the longest-running large-scale BDSM event in Canada. It features a Roman theme, half a dozen workshops, and a silent auction. The event is held in February, but this year it sold out by the end of November, so book early.
Snow-Bound (www.snow-bound.ca)
Snow-Bound is the newest Canadian BDSM event, and will be held in beautiful Collingwood, Ontario in April of this year. Over a dozen workshops, three large play parties, and an absolutely beautiful setting make this a promising new event.
The keynote speaker will be Janet Hardy, better known as “Lady Green” or “Catherine Liszt”, author of “The Compleat Spanker” and co-author of “The Topping Book”, “The Bottoming Book”, “The Ethical Slut” and “When Someone You Love is Kinky”.
DSSG Summer Camp (www.dssg.org)
The first DSSG Summer Camp was held last year, and it was very well received by those who attended. Most of them have already signed up for this year’s event, which will again feature a swimming pool, hot tubs, an outdoor “dungeon”, and a number of demos. The event is held in August, but there are discounts for early registration.
Folsom Street Fair (www.folsomstreetfair.com)
The Folsom Street Fair is a bit different from the other events, in that it’s essentially a day-long street party with a BDSM flavour. Lots of vendors, and entertainment all day on three separate stages.
The event is held in San Francisco on the last Sunday in September. There’s no need to reserve anything – just show up, and enjoy the party!
Beat Me in St Louis (www.stl3.com)
Now in its seventh year, BMSL continues to grow and draw more and more attendees. Over a dozen presenters and two nights of parties should make this a fun event.
Boston Fetish Flea Market (www.nla-newengland.org) )
If you’re interested in buying anything even vaguely related to the BDSM lifestyle, the Boston Fetish Flea Market is the place to go. Over 85 vendors and 4000 customers descend on Boston every January to shop, shop, shop. There’s also a “theme party” and a number of discussion groups, though no formal workshops are scheduled.
The event is generally held in January.
Thunder in the Mountains (www.thunderinthemountains.com)
A Holiday Inn in Denver, Colorado is home to Thunder in the Mountains, scheduled to run in July of this year. Just as the Boston Fetish Flea Market focuses on vendors, Thunder in the Mountains puts its emphasis on workshops and education. They have a reputation for bringing in some excellent presenters from across North America.
South Plains Leatherfest (www.southplainsleatherfest.com)
The South Plains Leatherfest is another event that stresses education, and it draws some “top name” presenters to teach the workshops. The event takes place in late February or early March each year.