The Primer
Reading Your EhBC’s
February ‘98 Volume 2.2
Play It Again … Safely, Sam

With our next play party in the offing, I thought, since I apparently have the podium this month, that it might be a good time to talk briefly about the ethics and etiquette of public play.

With so many people in the EhBC community who are relatively new to public scenes, or new to live and active BDSM in general, we spend a lot of time answering questions like "How do I approach someone?" "What’s the right thing to do if …", and so on.  So here are some general tips for those of you coming to your first play party, or contemplating your first public fetish night:

  1. Go with friends, or at least have someone there to whom you can direct questions. Sometimes such a "guide" can steer you towards points of interest, offer explanations, or just generally keep you from stepping on any toes!
  2. Make sure you find out what "rules" apply to the event in advance. Some places have strict dress codes, others may have rules on who plays when, etc.
  3. Know who the Dungeon Master/Mistress is. This person has the final say in all scenes taking place at the event, and they will intervene if they believe there is a problem. They are also good people to take questions to.
  4. If you plan to play, make sure you have all your equipment ready – toys are clean and ready-to-use, clips and attachment hardware is readily available, et cetera. It can also be convenient if you travel with a bottle of isopropyl alcohol/hydrogen peroxide and water, to do spot cleaning of toys, equipment OR furnishings at the event.
  5. Be gracious and polite to those you meet at the event. The es S.H.U.K. for Switches Have Unique Kink. The URL is http://members.aol.com/SHUKWEB

TORONTO'S GOLDEN CHAINS SETS MUNCH FOR JAN. 31

Golden Chains hosts its monthly munch at 3 p.m. on Jan. 31 at the Cafe Nicole in the Hotel Novotel on The Esplanade at Church Street in Toronto.

Bill of Materials: Make Your Own Tie Loops!

Don’t want to put lag-screws and eye-bolts in your furniture? Anything with legs (beds, chairs, tables, stools, etc.) can handle quick "tie loops", which are nothing but lengths of rope tied in a big enough loop to fit around the furniture leg in question, plus a little bit left over to take the attachment to the restraint.

Brock's original design uses loops of =BD" nylon rope in 18"-26" lengths, to which you can clip dog clips, Qwik-Links, or snaps. Use a very secure knot; nylon rope especially can slip if you're not careful with how you tie the loops closed.

Take one end of the closed loop, wrap it around the solid furniture leg, and passit through the other end of the loop.   Assuming the person being tied down can't move the furniture, you now have a reasonably secure attachment point, without using power tools to install them! Very convenient!

(Okay, so it won't work with pedestal-style hotel beds or waterbeds ... but it *will* work with hotel garment racks :)

arnora

Upcoming Events/Scene Contacts

Madame X hosts a fetish night at Limelight, the nightclub, on the last Tuesday of every month. The Limelight is located at 250 Adelaide Street West, in Toronto. There is a strict fetish dress code enforced at the door. For more information, call 416-537-2896 or 416-340-0646.

He & She Clothing Gallery - Play clothes for Grown-Ups. 263-265 Queen Street East, Toronto. phone 416-594-0171. Hours: Mon.-Wed.10-7, Thurs & Fri.10-9, Sat.10-6, Sun.12-6

Doc's Leathers and Dungeon Gear - new and old, bought and sold, chaps, bondage and discipline gear, pants, jock straps, jackets, vests. 726 Queen Street West, Toronto. 416-504-8888.

Aslan Leather - Leather and vinyl dildo harnesses, leather dildos, whips, chest and body harnesses, and other fun toys. By Carrie. For catalogue info, please write: 363 Sourauren Avenue, Box 58 Toronto, ON M6R 2G5 or phone: 416-538-9759.

Boudoir Noir, Canada's best known Leather - Fetish - Consensual SM Magazine, is published four times a year by Boudoir Noir Publications Inc., Box 5, Stn.F, Toronto, ON M4Y 2L4. Phone 1-800-498-8750. Six issue subscription price is $24, but please note that price is going up to $36 effective 1998. Boudoir Noir also hosts a Fetish Night, at the Catacombs (below the Sanctuary), every second and fourth Thursday of the month. 732 Queen Street West, Toronto. 10:30pm-1:30am. Dancing, videos, door prizes, coat check, changing room. Leather, fetish-SM dress code is requested but not mandatory. Cover $5.

Bear Buddies Toronto is a social group for gay and bisexual "bearish" men and their male admirers. We welcome members and guests of all ages, races and body types. Our goal is to recognize and socialize with like-minded men, both at home and when we travel. Bear Buddies Toronto is not primarily a community fundraising organization. BEAR MEAT, our informal get-together, happens every 3rd Friday of the month at the Toolbox (508 Eastern Avenue, Toronto. 416-466-8616.)

Ask Ilana

Hi everyone! After a month off (since I goofed last month, and forgot to hand in my column on time - and no, I don't need to be punished for that) I have returned with more questions and more answers. -Ilana

Q: I just bought a collar for myself. Now I feel weird about wearing it. Should I have bought a collar for myself? I feel so needy and desperate now.

A: There is no reason to not buy a collar for yourself. You can pick out a collar you like. And when you find someone to play with, in a single scene, or a longer evening (or even something more permanent), you will have the thrill of wearing a collar you look great in, that you enjoy to wear. And you can always ask the person you are playing with to put it on you, to symbolize temporary ownership.

Q: How do I get rid of bruises I don't want people to see?

A: There are a few different remedies people are fond of. Ice or cool water directly after the bruising restricts the blood low and limits bruising. Some people think that a light rub down helps to eliminate bruising. Other methods include rubbing alcohol, vitamin E gel or cream, or lavender oil applied to the bruised region.

To get a question in the Ask Ilana column, email smiles@golden.net with the subject Ask Ilana.

Where to Find Us

EhBC Munches: First Wednesday of every month, in the Board Room, at the Barley Works, in the Huether Hotel, Uptown Waterloo (corner King and Princess Streets). Dress code is casual, all are welcome for dinner, drinks, conversation and socializing. 7-10pm +.

EhBC Brunches: Third Sunday of every month at the Fox & Pheasant, in the University Plaza on University Avenue West, Waterloo. Brunch starts at noon. Dress code is casual, all are welcome for food, conversation and socializing.

Find us online at: ehbc@golden.net (email) or http://www.golden.net/~ehbc (web pages)

If you have email, you can request information on the EhBC Mailing List from

ehbc@golden.net.

You can request access to the General Mailing List if you’ve been out to meet us at a munch, a Fet Night or a play party. We also have an Announcements Only list for those who prefer low traffic in their email boxes.

Next Discussion Group: February 8th, phone karen 519-886-4867 for location, 1-4pm. The topic of the discussion group's next meeting is "Negotiating a 24/7 relationship"

And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor … J

Come As You Are is a retail store selling high quality products to enhance the customer's relation to her/his own sexuality and to encourage our customers' exploration of their sexual desires and sexual needs. Our approach to sexuality is one of respect, humour, openness, maturity, communication, and responsibility;