Who am I?

Who AM I?

who was i…?

Pain. oh, excruitating pain. Pain like fire, pain like ice. Pain like…Love. wrap myself inside the pain. Pain like a warm blanket, like a kiss, like a caress.

i float inside the warm caress of pain, as it kisses my back and buttocks, my belly and breasts. i open myself up to take more pain. tears pour down my cheeks, like the rains that bring a desert to bloom. my Soul opens up. i cry out my pain. i moan, and whimper and scream. Fear peeks out from behind the pain. Control starts to exert Itself.

"We must not feel Fear!" Control insists. "We must not allow others to see our pain!"

i struggle with Control. It is so much stronger than i am. i push against Control. who am i to fight Control?

Pain again, this time like a battle cry. i scream out my pain and push Control into the opening in my Soul.

"You had your time, Control," i scream to It. "leave me with my Pain, with my Love!"

Fear wraps Itself inside the Pain, makes It even more delicious, like crystal sugar on tangy strawberries.

suddenly, shockingly, Pain ends. Fear remains. what more can i take? oh, my Master, oh my God, a soft caress, gentle, full of Love. my Pain-awakened body responds to the caresses. nipples harden, skin tightens. now there is a new Pain, the Pain of Need and Longing. the caress continues, soothing my skin and torturing it further. my new-found Freedom allows me to let my Soul speak to my Master, in moans and entreaties for further Pleasure. through my tear-clouded eyes i can see Him smile. my upward-stretched arms are released from their bonds. my ankles are released as well. i am free now, but i quiver in hopes of being bound again.

He tells me to kneel and i do so with the Grace of one who has found her place in the Universe. i lean back against my Cross, my salvation. i stretch my arms upwards again, a supplicant to my Master, who is my God. He binds my arms to the Cross and bids me spread my legs wide apart, until i am sitting on my ankles and feet.

He stands before me, proud and demanding. i know what he wants, and i eagerly stretch my mouth towards his hard Penis. i want to worship Him by pleasuring Him. He gives me words of encouragement and i whimper with happiness as he allows me to suckle his Penis. His grunts of Pleasure are the answer to my prayers. my mouth moves over his hard Penis, faster and faster. He grabs my hair and pushes me deeper onto Him. i can feel my own excitement building. My Master, my God, Your Pleasure is mine! i open my throat like i opened my Soul. His Climax is my Absolution. i eagerly drink His Gift. His breathing slows, His hands stroke my hair. He tells me I am worthy. He praises my devotion. Now my tears of pain are tears of Happiness, and i float on a wave of Contentment and Surrender. i am His. He is my Master.

i know who i am.