BDSM Play Partner Checklist

This questionnaire should be filled out by each person involved and provided to their play-partner(s) before playing with them. This will provide a quick “head-start” to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play.

The original version of this checklist was aimed specifically at submissives and is on the web with a huge selection of other resources at the Society for Human Sexuality

Note: the interactive version of the checklist is being upgraded.  For now, please use the one below.


Gender: 
Male, Female, or ______________

Sexual orientation:
Straight, Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, Pansexual, or _____________

Gender orientation:
Male, Female, or ______________

Play Preference:
Dominant, Top, Submissive, Bottom, Switch, or _______________

Relationship Preferences:
Monogamous, Polyamorous, or _____________

 


For each item listed below, you need to provide two answers:Experience:

First write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity. Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender.

Willingness:

Next, indicate for each item how you FEEL about that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.

NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).

0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don’t like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would be willing to do it to please the Dominant if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a “soft limit“).

1 means you don’t want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn’t object if it was asked of you.

2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.

3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/occasional basis.

4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.

5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.

Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with you current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners.

Note any additional information which might be important for your partner(s) to know.

There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the sub/bottom is the recipient of the activity.

 

Experience/Willingness

  • Abrasion
  • Age play
  • Anal sex
  • Anal plugs (small)
  • Anal plugs (large)
  • Anal plug (public, under clothes)
  • Animal roles
  • Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
  • Asphyxiation
  • Bestiality
  • Blindfolds
  • Being serviced (sexual)
  • Being bitten
  • Breast/chest bondage
  • Breath control
  • Branding
  • Boot worship
  • Bondage (light)
  • Bondage (heavy)
  • Bondage (multi-day)
  • Bondage (public, under clothing)
  • Breast whipping
  • Brown showers (scat)
  • Cages (locked inside of)
  • Caning
  • Catheterization
  • Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
  • Chastity belts
  • Chauffeuring
  • Choking
  • Clothespins
  • Cock worship
  • Cock and Ball torture
  • Collars (worn in private)
  • Collars (worn in public)
  • Competitions (with other Subs)
  • Consensual non-consent
  • Corsets (wearing)
  • Cuffs (leather)
  • Cuffs (metal)
  • Cutting
  • Dilation
  • Double penetration
  • Electricity
  • Enemas
  • Enforced chastity
  • Examinations (physical)
  • Exercise (forced/required)
  • Exhibitionism (friends)
  • Exhibitionism (strangers)
  • Eye contact restrictions
  • Face slapping
  • Fantasy abandonment
  • Fantasy rape
  • Fantasy gang-rape
  • Fisting (anal)
  • Fisting (vaginal)
  • Following orders
  • Foot worship
  • Forced dressing
  • Forced homosexuality
  • Forced heterosexuality
  • Forced masturbation
  • Forced nudity (private)
  • Forced nudity (around others)
  • Forced servitude
  • Full head hoods
  • Gags (cloth)
  • Gags (rubber)
  • Gags (tape)
  • Gates of Hell (male)
  • Genital sex
  • Given away to another Dom (temporary)
  • Given away to another Dom (permanent)
  • Golden showers
  • Group Sex
  • Hairbrush spankings
  • Hair pulling
  • Hand jobs (giving)
  • Hand jobs (receiving)
  • Harems (serving w/other subs)
  • Harnessing (leather)
  • Harnessing (rope)
  • Having food chosen for you
  • Having clothing chosen for you
  • Head (giving fellatio)
  • Head (receiving fellatio)
  • High heel worship
  • Homage with tongue (non-sexual)
  • Hot oils (on genitals)
  • Housework (doing)
  • Human puppy dog
  • Humiliation (private)
  • Humiliation (public)
  • Hypnotism
  • Ice cubes
  • Infantilism
  • Initiation rites
  • Injections
  • Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage
  • Interrogation
  • Kidnapping
  • Kneeling
  • Knife Play
  • Leather clothing
  • Leather restraints
  • Lectures for misbehaviour
  • Licking (non-sexual)
  • Manacles & Irons
  • Manicures (giving)
  • Massage (giving)
  • Massage (receiving)
  • Masturbation
  • Medical scenes
  • Mind Control
  • Modelling for erotic photos
  • Mouth bits
  • Mummification
  • Nipple clamps
  • Nipple weights
  • Oral/anal play (rimming)
  • Oral sex
  • Orgasm denial
  • Orgasm control
  • Outdoor scenes
  • Outdoor sex
  • Over-the-knee spanking
  • Phone sex (serving Dom)
  • Phone sex (serving Dom’s friends)
  • Piercing (temporary, play pierce)
  • Piercing (permanent)
  • Prison scenes
  • Pony slave
  • Public exposure
  • Pussy/cock whipping
  • Pussy worship
  • Riding crops
  • Riding the “horse” (crotch torture)
  • Rituals
  • Religious scenes
  • Restrictive rules on behaviour
  • Rubber/latex clothing
  • Rope body harness
  • Saran wrapping
  • Scratching – getting
  • Scratching – giving
  • Sensory deprivation
  • Serving
  • Serving as art
  • Serving as ashtray
  • Serving as furniture
  • Serving as a maid
  • Serving as toilet
  • Serving as waitress/waiter
  • Serving other doms (supervised)
  • Serving other doms (unsupervised)
  • Sexual deprivation (short term)
  • Sexual deprivation (long term)
  • Shaving (body hair)
  • Shaving (head hair)
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleepsacks
  • Slutty clothing (private)
  • Slutty clothing (public)
  • Spanking
  • Spandex clothing
  • Speech restrictions (when, what, to whom)
  • Speculums (Anal)
  • Speculums (vaginal)
  • Spreader bars
  • Standing in corner
  • Stocks
  • Straight jackets
  • Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)
  • Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
  • Strap-on-dildos (wearing)
  • Strapping (full body beating)
  • Suspension (upright)
  • Suspension (inverted)
  • Suspension (horizontal)
  • Supplying new partners for Dom/Top
  • Swallowing semen
  • Swallowing urine
  • Swapping (with one other couple)
  • Swinging (multiple couples)
  • Tattooing
  • Teasing
  • Tickling
  • Triple penetration
  • Uniforms
  • Including others
  • Vaginal dildo
  • Vaginal sex
  • Vanilla sex
  • Verbal humiliation
  • Vibrator on genitals
  • Voyeurism (watching others)
  • Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
  • Video (watching others)
  • Video (recordings of you)
  • Watersports
  • Wax Play
  • Wearing symbolic jewellery
  • Whipping
  • Wooden paddles
  • Wrestling